strozzap Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 The thing I hate the most about me is the fact that I can't make people laugh... If I could make my girlfriends laugh that would trigger attraction and maybe they would love me... Or people in general, just make people laugh without being a weirdo... How hard is it? But I can't... Everytime I try to make people laugh I get a "yeah right..."... Gosh...
crederer Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I don't think you can teach someone how to be funny. 2
Author strozzap Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 I don't think you can teach someone how to be funny. Why are there such school then? ( Bienvenue! - École nationale de l'humour )
Treasa Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I get laughs fairly frequently. I think it's because I'm not afraid to be jokingly self-deprecating or do something silly/stupid, as long as it's not reckless or harmful. 1
ddc579 Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Focus more on being yourself than trying to force the funny in there. I guarantee that if you didn't try so hard, the funny will naturally come out. 1
Pyro Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I think it's because I'm not afraid to be jokingly self-deprecating or do something silly/stupid, as long as it's not reckless or harmful. This right here. Hard to explain but you have to pull it off naturally and not make it look like you are trying to do it. Trial and error is what it may take for you to accomplish your goal. 2
ddc579 Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 And you're speaking in absolutes. I can't make people laugh. Everytime I try to make people laugh I get a "yeah right..."... So you've literally never made a person laugh in your life? I find that hard to believe. Think about the times that you did make them laugh. Was it something you forced, or were you just being authentically you? I'm willing to bet it was the latter. You don't have to be a master joke-teller to make people laugh. I can't tell a joke to save my life -- but I am super-observational. Thus, when I make people laugh, it's usually by playing to my strength of having a heightened awareness of things going on around me. It's different for everyone. You just have to really figure out who "you" are, and that's what people will gravitate towards. 1
GravityMan Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Humor works best when it comes naturally. If you try too hard you may come across as awkward. Just relax, don't take life too seriously and let it happen. A sense of humor is one of those things where you've either got it...or you don't. It is a key part of a person's innate core personality, which to a large extent is set while you're a kid. It could possibly be refined with the use of various techniques and stuff...but it cannot be "taught" at a basic level. Fortunately, I think that almost EVERYONE has some kind of sense of humor...there's just many different styles which may click with some people and not with others. If someone doesn't seem to have a sense of humor at all, then it's probable that there's something else problematic going on in their life that's preventing them from revealing their fun side. There's also the possibility that your style of humor just doesn't work with the people you hang out with...in which case consider expanding your social circle. That said I think that people with great humor and wit can make almost anyone laugh. 2
StanMusial Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Know your audience. I told the Interrupting Cow joke to this 20 something girl one time and she almost peed her pants. I told my sister and she rolled her eyes and changed topics immediately. 2
Disillusioned Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 People think I'm hilarious or kidding when I'm serious. But when I try to be funny, I end up either boring others, or insulting them. I can't really help it, because my sense of humor is pretty irreverent... and to me, nothing is funnier than uptight, sour people who have a lot of moral hangups. 1
Philosopher Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Saying things that are funny and making others laugh is something that usually occurs spontaneously. Trying to think too hard of jokes to say normally doesn't work. Therefore my advice is not to try to hard to think of stuff that could be funny. Instead try to learn which of your naturally occurring thoughts are funny. When you are then talking to someone one and one of these funny thoughts comes up in your head without thinking about it, then say it. That way you should be able to get others to laugh. 3
Feelin Frisky Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I'm what some would call "cheeky" IRL. My brother who is two years younger tries to be funny and stinks up the joint. He envies what I have. But I don't know how to tell anyone what that is which could impart the skill. It's first of all disarming and appearing willing to risk looking foolish like Teresa said, being self-deprecating. The gentleman above who said "it's all in the timing" is right on as well. It's a quickness of deduction of possible things others might be thinking and quipping something which leads them to see the funny irony or paradox that causes them to use their deductive reasoning to a worthwhile and pleasing conclusion and applaud your entertainment of it with laughter. I almost laughed when the OP responded to someone saying "you can't teach people to be funny" and I thought the OP responded to that by saying "so where can I go to school for that?" But I misread what he said and withdrew my post laughing at his clever self deprecation. Instead he asked "so why then are there schools like" the one he linked which apparently tries to teach people to be funny. That of course was not humorous. 2
Feelin Frisky Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Saying things that are funny and making others laugh is something that usually occurs spontaneously. Trying to think too hard of jokes to say normally doesn't work. Therefore my advice is not to try to hard to think of stuff that could be funny. Instead try to learn which of your naturally occurring thoughts are funny. When you are then talking to someone one and one of these funny thoughts comes up in your head without thinking about it, then say it. That way you should be able to get others to laugh. Good job. But I would say that the more one journals and chronicles his or her life and times by writing and thinking of how to turn a phrase, the greater chance one develops to take advantage of irony, hypocrisy and so forth when he or she has an audience who shares the same sense of newsworthiness. I couldn't write the traditional joke but I have written comedic scripts that were agreed were worthwhile pursuits and we made the subject of class video projects when I went to School of Visual Arts in NY. Also exposing oneself to bright people and getting their wit creates a chance for dialogue back in that wit. I used to work for a UN organization comprised mostly of older folks who had been through the war and lived the UN dream since it's founding. When the Berlin Wall fell and communism went kaput I cheekily said to the president of this organization whom had taken a liking to me and I designed his publications "so I guess that now makes you the ex pinko society" and he smiled quickly and quipped "what you mean ex?" We both laughed. I implied they were leftist (which I am frankly) and that the crumbling of the Soviet Union meant leftism is over, but he quickly reassured me in wit that the cause marches on. (Maybe ya had to be there.)
todreaminblue Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 if you are goign to do stand up comedy that si where you can use material that is rehearsed....to me you cant rehearse a sense of humor...its the way you look at life.....its what other people say and you think on your feet...its like outside the box said theres a time and a place for humor and if you have you have it...its in the timing...,.... and as philosopher said it occurs spontaneously...everybody has wit....some are quicker than others....you have to be pretty quick to be funny........or its the sound of crickets not laughs...thats the worse timing ever.....when everyone goes huh what are you on about, you freakazoid....lol.....you have to accept being a weirdo and sometimes people might laugh and sometimes they wont......i use laughter to deflect when i feel insecure......it relaxes me when people smile and laugh....so i use the timing thing and jump right in....and with what people say normally you can turn it into a laugh or two......you have to be a bit kamikaze and say what you want to say....and then ...wait.....for the sound of crickets or laughter...best of luck....deb
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Tell a joke. Just don't start with the "knock knock who's there? Banana." joke. That's a really annoying one. Maybe try a dirty limerick or something...
outsidethebox Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 no, honestly, telling jokes or reciting limericks or whatever is not for someone trying to work on getting laughs. one liners, to be honest may take some silliness depending on how dead the conversation is. 1
Author strozzap Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 It also seems like it always sounds funnier when it comes from someone else. What would be a good timing? How should my face look like? And my voice? My energy? Should I smile or laugh? If I say something funny but do not appear confident, will it affect the joke? Is it better to look cynical and uninterested when I try to say something funny and witty or should I make a stupid face or should I smile? Maybe a lot has to do with self-confidence? If I am too self-conscious can it affect my ability of being funny? What are the different types of humor, can they be learned? Can I adapt my style to the people I'm with or should I constantly stay the same? Do I need a very active life and know many things to be funny? Does having no life impact our ability to make people laugh? I have so many questions and feel like I can't overcome it.
Author strozzap Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I almost laughed when the OP responded to someone saying "you can't teach people to be funny" and I thought the OP responded to that by saying "so where can I go to school for that?" But I misread what he said and withdrew my post laughing at his clever self deprecation. Instead he asked "so why then are there schools like" the one he linked which apparently tries to teach people to be funny. That of course was not humorous. I feel sorry that you almost laughed. We've just experienced my problem right in this post. 1
Feelin Frisky Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Ever since I was a kid I've bee doing impressions that get laughs and think up characterizing names that wind up sticking to people. In high school the Catholic Brother teaching science who was from the deep south (we being in Brooklyn, same neighborhood where Woody Allen came from) he had heard that I was doing impressions of him and made me do it in class while he and the other students watched. It was un-nerving but the guy was in stitches and students cracking up. In my first job, I could speak and gesture exactly like the two bosses over the concessions at a popular beach--one of whom was a marine drill sergeant who often yelled. I'd yell into the kitchen in his voice like I was really pissed off and workers would drop things from nerves and all straighten up. Then they see it was me and laugh at each other for falling for it again. When I was in a rehab once the head nurse was this tall, skinny, drawn, authoritarian menace with no humor. I immediately called her "Skeletor" and that got around and she became "Skeletor" to everyone. Skeletor jokes were everywhere. There was an obnoxious and spoiled black kid with the spikey braids and I called him "Snake-head". Next thing a fight breaks out and it someone fighting with the guy I christened Snakehead. When it was broken up and the counselor asked what was going on, the guy who was fighting said "mother___ing Snake-head farted right in front of me". There were then Snake-head jokes to the point of laughing jags. Another time I had to go and try to get it together again in rehab and I head this ugly fat chick named Pam say she fcked a midget. I started toing the midget and pretending I was trying to carry her shopping bags. This other patient named Jose who just laugh snot out his nose every time our eyes would meet over that. It is what it is I guess and "be's that way some time".
Feelin Frisky Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I feel sorry that you almost laughed. We've just experienced my problem right in this post. If you had humor you'd see that my laughter was justified and my error in reading your post took you as clever--like you really had the knack. But alas, you miss it all entirely. One thing you need to develop humor is to error on the side of giving other people the benefit of the doubt--that they are not ill-willed and "probably" the better of nice or nasty. People kill other people in this world but the one's who rush to help the wounded represent the majority of humanity.
Author strozzap Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 If you had humor you'd see that my laughter was justified and my error in reading your post took you as clever--like you really had the knack. But alas, you miss it all entirely. One thing you need to develop humor is to error on the side of giving other people the benefit of the doubt--that they are not ill-willed and "probably" the better of nice or nasty. People kill other people in this world but the one's who rush to help the wounded represent the majority of humanity. Hmm quite frankly I didn't think saying that would upset you? Am I missing something? I'm serious. I feel like I can make people mad and I don't even know how I did it and why. What do you mean by "error on the side of giving other people the benefit of the doubt" ?
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Ever since I was a kid I've bee doing impressions that get laughs and think up characterizing names that wind up sticking to people. In high school the Catholic Brother teaching science who was from the deep south (we being in Brooklyn, same neighborhood where Woody Allen came from) Mockery and insults. That kind of humor does fit your style... mean spirited and bullying. Designed to lift yourself up at the expense of others. I rarely find that crap funny. I like irony and absurdity. I find those things to be the most witty and worthwhile laughter. Yes... people can learn to be funny. Maybe OP should learn from Frisky and push blind people into traffic for a laugh. 1
BoneyHadger Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 IME comedy is not a silver bullet to all your dating woes. I've managed to attract some women without making them laugh even once throughout (making them smile was another thing though). And I've found that once you get into mindset of cracking jokes and being hilarious, you can have hard time later shifting into more personal/intimate mode. I had it all the time and stopped making much of an effort to be very funny. If something funny comes up - fine, if not - fine too.
Author strozzap Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 IME comedy is not a silver bullet to all your dating woes. I've managed to attract some women without making them laugh even once throughout (making them smile was another thing though). And I've found that once you get into mindset of cracking jokes and being hilarious, you can have hard time later shifting into more personal/intimate mode. I had it all the time and stopped making much of an effort to be very funny. If something funny comes up - fine, if not - fine too. I've added this thread to the Dating section where i think it is the most useful, but I'm not trying to find ways to be more attractive or date more women. I'm an independant man who doesn't need a woman to find happiness. Having a woman in my life (I currently do) is simply a bonus. And I don't believe in trying to date as many women as possible (which is what most dating methods aim for). All I need right now is laughter and finding ways to make "people" laugh, not just women. I believe laughter triggers attraction and can create friendship, love, etc. I don't mind all my flaws and defects, the only one thing that really bothers me about myself is my inability to make people laugh.
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