kru11 Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Hi all, I have been so curious about one of my colleagues. I started my first work last 3 months ago after my graduation. One day, one of my colleagues asked me to have dinner with him. I was so surprised and shocked. Then I suggested him to have dinner at food court. I had no money that time because I just started my first work. He seems to have dinner with me at restaurants and I finally agreed to him. He paid for that dinner. After dinner, he never texted me or called me but we can see each other 8 hours at office and had lunch together with other colleagues. A few days later of asking me out, I asked him for dinner because my salary just came in and felt guilty he paid for me. Then we got miscommunication and happened that I waited for him quite awhile. That time I mentioned to him I will treat him because he treated me last time. Then he didn't texted me or called me. That time he noticed I like ice cream and European food. After 2 months later, he smsed me whether I have tried 'marble slab' ice cream. I said no and he asked we should try when he come back. That time he iwas about to go another country for business. Then when he came back, he asked me to try that ice cream but I suggested him to have dinner first. Then we had ice cream after dinner which is European food. It took more than 3 hours. Then what you guys think whether he is dating to me or just asking me out as colleague. Is he attracted to me? I am wondering why he never contacted me if he is asking me out. Oh another thing is I am going back to my country for a week. He asked me which places he should go if he wants to visit my country. Then he suggested me how about he is visiting my country around the time I am going back. He asked me whether I can guide him as a tour in my country. I said no to him because I am going back only 1 week and time to spend with my family. So I asked him I can suggest a tour for him. All those visiting are not so sure yet. I hope someone can advise me what to do. I am attracted to that guy. All of my colleagues are teasing me with him. Thanks for reading long story!
carhill Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Then what you guys think whether he is dating to me or just asking me out as colleague. Is he attracted to me? I am wondering why he never contacted me if he is asking me out. Is his behavior consistent with 'dating' or treating you as a 'colleague' in your culture? As English appears to be your second language, culture could be quite relevant here. IMO, he is attracted to you. Beyond that, it's hard to know what his circumstances are. 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 kru11 it seems clear that culturally, you and your colleague 'think' differently, therefore communication is difficult, not only because of language differences, but also because of possible dating behaviour differing in your culture, to the way things are 'done' in the west. In any case, be cautious. it's difficult to date a colleague, because if by any chance the relationship goes bad or ends, working with a person you have broken up with, makes life very difficult. I would say it's best to try to simply keep things on a friendly level, until you become more accustomed to life where you are..... 2
Author kru11 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 (edited) Is his behavior consistent with 'dating' or treating you as a 'colleague' in your culture? As English appears to be your second language, culture could be quite relevant here. IMO, he is attracted to you. Beyond that, it's hard to know what his circumstances are. I forgot to say both of us are Asians. He treated me as dating when we go out together because he moved a chair for me and other things. According to my culture, none of guys would do that to me. Am I thinking too much? Or is he just nice not me, not attracted to me? If he is, why he never contact me outside office hours except those dating? Dating is 2 months far apart. According to my culture, girl cannot ask a guy out. Then what should I do? Should I sort out my emotion? I don't wanna be crazy of it but now, I'm kind of. Edited April 28, 2013 by kru11
kamani Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I feel he is attracted to you, but doesn't want to rush things. On the other hand he is also not sure what you feel, your culture and fears rejection IMO. I think he felt somewhat let down by you paying for the meals second time and considering it as a 'debt'. 1
Author kru11 Posted May 11, 2013 Author Posted May 11, 2013 (edited) Hi all, I have been out with my colleague to movie. I asked him out first for movie but he said he had a plan to watch the movie with his friends. He asked me to join with his friend but ended up he watched that movie twice with his friends and me. During movie time, no physical contact. Does it mean he is not attracted to me? Is it obvious that I am attracted to him by asking out for movie? Two days before movie day,my senior asked me how it was dinner with my bf in the afternoon. I mentioned I have no bf and wish I got one. After knock off the office, it happened to have dinner with him. During dinner time he asked me whether I planned to live in this country for a medium to long term. I said I would stay here unless the government kicks me out. He said how the government can kick me out because I am so cute. I explained him I need to go back if the government doesnt give me working pass here. After for awhile, he tried to book the movie ticket online but it was not successful. After dinner he went to watch movie with his friends. Before movie day I was kind of sick and took half day MC. On movie day, he told me I would take MC in the afternoon. In the evening, he MSG me "gonna movie later?" though both of us are in the same department. I replied him I want to go for it. Then he looked happy after i replied his msg and came to near my desk. Then I pretended I felt nothing. After knocking off the office, we went for movie. Then what do you guys think this situation? Just hanging out with colleague or dating? I really want to know what his intentions are. Edited May 11, 2013 by kru11
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