Ugh, broke NC

[sweetjess1951]

I broke NC last night at 2am after 29 days. I feel stupid. I said ugh, I shouldn't be texting you right now but I miss "you".

 

Not sure why I texted him. It wasn't the alcohol because I've been out since the break up. I had this overwhelming feeling of care for him, just wondering how he was, if he got the job he interviewed for, etc.

 

But I still feel stupid VERY STUPID

[whisperoftheheart]

You got to 29 days NC thats awesome in itself.

In the end we are all human we make mistakes and we learn from them. It doesn't make you stupid to have reached out, it means you just care enough to share your emotions.

Did he reply?

If not it isnt the end of the world if anything you may have sparked some memories with him. Return to NC for yourself. Grow as a person and work towards new goals. If he comes around then let himm do the work.

I lapsed at a similar time. Got a response but nothing more. I figured it was out of politeness. Personally still working on moving on. But it does get better day by day and distractions go a long way to moving forward. If he returns its meant to be otherwise just know someone will one day come along band treat you as you truly deserve.

[eachcomingnight]

Hey,

I did too, at about the same time.

 

I think there's something about this one-month mark that invites breaking it...I know that I had gained enough strength that I felt that I could handle it...but I wasn't really ready.

 

I feel pretty awful now, but I'm not beating myself up about it. It's a process. We're not automatically back to day 1, either, because we have already been through a month and know that life goes on.

 

Take care.

[sweetjess1951]

You got to 29 days NC thats awesome in itself.

In the end we are all human we make mistakes and we learn from them. It doesn't make you stupid to have reached out, it means you just care enough to share your emotions.

Did he reply?

If not it isnt the end of the world if anything you may have sparked some memories with him. Return to NC for yourself. Grow as a person and work towards new goals. If he comes around then let himm do the work.

I lapsed at a similar time. Got a response but nothing more. I figured it was out of politeness. Personally still working on moving on. But it does get better day by day and distractions go a long way to moving forward. If he returns its meant to be otherwise just know someone will one day come along band treat you as you truly deserve.

 

Well, at first, no, he didn't respond. I felt so crappy and anxious and stupid. So I sent a short email later the next dat saying that I shouldn't have texted him, I thought he cared about me but clearly he doesn't/was sure hes moved on to someone else and good luck with his life. The next morning at 730am, he texted me saying my email was 100% incorrect, he hadn't moved on, he wasnt seeing anyone else, unlike me who had probably slept with someone else (I hadn't). We exchanged texts. He said "I know we want to see each other". I agreed to see him the next day. He cancelled last minute and I haven't spoken to him since.

[lop98]

Sorry to hear that, sweetjess... but cheer up, it's all gradual, NC sounds great in idea but we're made of emotions and it's only human to succumb to them. It's also human to pick yourself up and move forward.

 

I'm now on day 28 of NC and had been playing exactly with an 'I miss you', I feel it at the tip of my fingers every single day, just wanting to text him, but your thread brought me back to reality.. he's just going to throw a breadcrumb, if he replies to me at all.

[aisuru]

Awww, don't feel stupid.

 

Sometimes it's hard for both people. Even if both hurt. Sometimes one of them knows the breakup is for the best more than the other. It's hard.

 

There should be some comfort in knowing it's hard for him too. It's almost refreshing and says something about your relationship.

 

Right now you have to take care of you. Find yourself and find your path. Learn from the past and apply those lessons to your future.

[sweetjess1951]

Awww, don't feel stupid.

 

Sometimes it's hard for both people. Even if both hurt. Sometimes one of them knows the breakup is for the best more than the other. It's hard.

 

There should be some comfort in knowing it's hard for him too. It's almost refreshing and says something about your relationship.

 

Right now you have to take care of you. Find yourself and find your path. Learn from the past and apply those lessons to your future.

 

I don't know if I think it really hurts him...

 

He has issues that don't allow for him to be in a healthy, committed relationship. Its hard to pinpoint whether this is just who he is or if this is a direct reflection of who he is now after a broken engagement (she cheated) and extremely unhealthy relationships since.

 

We dated for all of 5 months. It was an intense relationship, planning on living together (actually looked at apartments) and discussing engagement/marriage. He had double standards and he ALWAYS thought I was either going to cheat on him or "use him until I found someone more promising" (Yes, he told me that).

 

Anyways, he strung me along (at least that is what it felt like) for an additional 5 months, asking me to be patient, that he questioned his decision to end things with me quite often, telling me I was perfect for him, discussing me moving in (even though we weren't together?!?) and saying he hoped I was his wife one day. The problem was, I did EVERYTHING for him and got nothing in return. I felt like nothing I did was good enough and I'd always be viewed the way he saw his other relationships, a lying, cheating whore. Not to mention, I feel like he knew he had me wrapped around his finger and could basically treat me however he wanted and it wouldn't matter. I'm pretty sure that even now, he thinks that he can just contact me sometime in the future and everything will be fine.

 

So me breaking NC was even worse than two people agreeing the timing wasn't right. My reason for NC was half and half...half really wanting to move on and half wanting him to realize that I wasn't always going to be around and maybe he would see that he took me for granted.

 

I was doing so well and stupidly broke NC. He may have started wondering what I was doing/why I hadn't reached out and not only did I text him and tell him I missed him, the next 2 days felt like a trap, for me to pour my heart out to him and him to soak it all up.

 

Ugh, it just SUCKS thinking someone thinks they have control over you.

[GI_Joy]

Ugh, it just SUCKS thinking someone thinks they have control over you.

 

Here's the catch--these are all thoughts. they don't have to be true, and you don't have to react in a way that that's the truth. You ultimately have control over yourself and your actions. It's up to you whether you want to pick up where you left off with the NC or to let him play with your feelings. At this point, you're better off just staying with the NC. It's not your responsibility to change the way he views girls and relationships and you, it's HIS. Give him the cold shoulder. He deserves it. You don't have to feel bad for his shortcomings. Hell, he hurt you with them.