Shizhappens Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 So my ex broke up with me about 4 months ago after a 5 year relationship, at first i was a mess but then pushed my self to go no contact, it was a pretty hurtfull break up, things were said basicaly out of spite, i was finally getting over the fact that it was over, i was away in miami on holiday 2 weeks ago in which she messaged me asking how i was and that maybe we should have a catch up when i got back in which we could exchange each others stuff, agreed and said id text when i was back. A week into the holiday she text me again askin if i was having fun, we got on well laughin and jokin. Then she started on how im single and she beta im pickin up girls now brcause im single ect, but then asked weird questions like do i miss her and still think about her? And that the break up was needed in need for her to hurt me, i kept my answeres pretty blunt and then suddenly she said we couldnt talk because she misses me and realised she cant get over me and that because i dont feel the same we cudnt talk... Then she switched it up again when out of nowhere she said " i think your getting confused, im not trying to get back with you" then i replied i said i missed u that was all" she got pi**ed and told me to f**k my self n went off ranting again, if she dont wana get back why all the questions like have i slept with some one else? have i broight anyone back to my house?, have i been on dates ect? Soo confusedd, but now emotions have been shown its like im starting back at stage one!! Any help appriciated thanks!
carhill Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 My short answer is to suggest being glad she's an ex. Whack job.
lovelifexx Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 She sounds selfish, crazy, immature. Lucky u it's over,
aisuru Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 She wants to make sure you still like her and that it's keeping you from enjoying life, but has nothing to do with whether she wants you back or not. In a way, you feeling worse makes her feel better. It gives her power and that feels good. You deserve better than that and shouldn't allow her to treat you that way.
losttheone Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I think what the bitter broken heart club is trying to say is you will never know. Even if she tells you something she could be just building herself back up after a bad break. Me I would think you have to better who you are, so if she comes back she does not see the same thing. The female mind is a tricky thing, she could want you back or is looking for a real reason to move on. Only she knows. And if you know her, really know her then you know what she is thinking. My X said she loves me but is not in love with me. Easy to understand because I know her and that says, "I have feelings but you hurt me". So we are now taking baby steps. The best thing you can do is keep busy, and listen to your heart. There are so many books on NC and just as many saying stay friends. Good luck! 2
Pisces13 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I think what the bitter broken heart club is trying to say is you will never know. Even if she tells you something she could be just building herself back up after a bad break. Me I would think you have to better who you are, so if she comes back she does not see the same thing. The female mind is a tricky thing, she could want you back or is looking for a real reason to move on. Only she knows. And if you know her, really know her then you know what she is thinking. My X said she loves me but is not in love with me. Easy to understand because I know her and that says, "I have feelings but you hurt me". So we are now taking baby steps. The best thing you can do is keep busy, and listen to your heart. There are so many books on NC and just as many saying stay friends. Good luck! Just want to say that this was a great post. The one thing I've noticed on this forum is the amount of people (or the "bitter broken heart club" as you put it lol) on here who just solely sing the praises of NC, when I think a lot of people come on here just wanting to try and gain some sort of understanding of their partners actions. I think you did a great job of that, while still being real about the situation, so well done! 1
thefooloftheyear Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I dont know whats better to be in the moving forward "bitter broken hearts" club or stagnant "false hope" club. Both suck, but I dont need false hope in my life. I just want to try to move forward. That aside, OP. She is a flake and a loser, who is selfish and doesn't want you yet needs you to boost her self esteem. Eff her and tell her where to stick her self esteem.... TFY
Pisces13 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I dont know whats better to be in the moving forward "bitter broken hearts" club or stagnant "false hope" club. Both suck, but I dont need false hope in my life. I just want to try to move forward. That aside, OP. She is a flake and a loser, who is selfish and doesn't want you yet needs you to boost her self esteem. Eff her and tell her where to stick her self esteem.... TFY See I think there are 3 clubs, the "bitter broken hearts club", the "false hope club" and the "keeping it real club". I consider myself apart of the latter. I do still have hope that me and my ex will get back together one day, but at the same time I'm still moving forward, focusing on myself and living my life fully aware of the fact that she might not ever come back to me. It's not letting the hope rule your life that you need to be careful of. Hope for the best, expect the worst if you will.
Author Shizhappens Posted November 7, 2013 Author Posted November 7, 2013 Been months since my post a while back, and since alottt has happened thiught id update! Me and the ex have since tried to reconcile, in which both decided to agreee to disagree, but learnt alot. People say they may come back they may not, in my case they did, 11 months ago i would have done anything for her to come back, 11 months on i feel its better to leave the past in the past, as i tell myself id only go back if i could change certain things... But what would that acheive? Is that fair? In the time apart we have both changed greatly, to wards each other, when she came back i felt like had had one over on her when she was asking to get back or try again i admit i was mean, and maybe said things that i shouldnt have just because i could, but if you really love n feel for her hold it back as i regret it, i didnt belive when i read the best way to get over some one is to better yourself, dont let yourself go, keep your chin up high, join the gym new wardrobe go out enjoy yourself like u hadnt before after all you are single, it realky does work ithough id just share my experience and say everyone going through a break up, if they are ment to be it will be dont rush dont push dont but dont give up! I feel on top of the world right now! Sorry for the short story! Thanks to every one who replied! Much appriciated (listening to moritz guhling - philipp) as i wrote this... 1
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