MissBee Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 If he does leave you then he isn't worthy of fathering your children anyways. You made the right decision by not being coerced into being a mother before you're ready. I applaud your strength with such a difficult situation. Hopefully he will give the support you deserve. I disagree. If he leaves her, he may feel she wasn't worthy of mothering his child. Relationships in which huge lies or secrets are being held are already a problem. I can't imagine being with a man and telling him I'm pregnant then secretly having an abortion, when he is excited and has bought stuff for the baby. If we're partners, this is a decision we talk through, TOGETHER. It's not like deciding to get a tattoo and not telling him. It's a huge decision that does bear weight for both people . I am not at all saying she should have had a child if she didn't want to....but if you plan on terminating, telling your boyfriend beforehand is the right thing to do. At this point OP, you just have to tell him and allow the chips to fall where they may.
Phoebe Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 You don't feel baby kicks until at least 20 weeks. Which is why I personally am having difficulty believing the story. 5
FitChick Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 He sounds more immature than you because at least you had the good sense to get an abortion. He had fantasies of playing house, "You be the mommy and I'll be the daddy." Next time be sure both of you (or your new boyfriend) use birth control. Saves a lot of heartache.
Maleficent Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Yes, for real. I knew a baby make things more complicated. I really want to finish college, get my degree and then I will be ready for a child. I just didn't want to proceed with the pregnancy. It was rather making me depressed than happy. This is something you should have told him before getting an abortion. Now all you can do is tell him the truth and assume crash position. He's going to be hurt.
AlexDP Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I just had an abortion about 2 weeks ago but still haven't told him about it. I had good reasons and part of is mainly because we're both college students and our ages are 22 (me) and 23 (him), are still living with our parents and I'm not ready for kids at this point. However, my bf has been excited since the day I told him I was pregnant and bought a crib and baby clothes. Right now he is questioning why he doesn't hear the baby's kicks anymore. I don't know how to tell her that I had an abortion at the 10th week. But I don't think he would have been ready either. He is still studying and I think I did us a favor. Only thing, I never really told him and just went along with the abortion. He doesn't know. Jesus. You don't seriously think you're going to be boyfriend and girlfriend after this, I hope?
AlexDP Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I really hope he doesn't leave you. I hope you don't have to go through this alone. If he does leave you then he isn't worthy of fathering your children anyways. This isn't the guy for you. If it were, you wouldn't have this dilemma. I hate to say it but if he is this staunch in his thinking. You should be re-thinking your relationship. As your actions(not judging.. You guys cannot be for real. They were expecting a child and she chose to have an abortion without telling the father. There are lies and then there are lies. This is the ultimate deceit. No one can justify what she did. It was beyond horrible. And it's not about whether or not an abortion was the right choice (it possibly was). It's about her not telling something of this magnitude. No. She was wrong. Very wrong. And he has every right to leave her and he should, for his sake. 4
Otty Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 WOW, is all I can say to this thread. It illustrates perfectly how our culture and society have descended into the gutter. You conceive a child with a man, then kill it without even telling him, and your only concern is whether you're going to keep him as your boyfriend? I doubt he ever speaks to you again after you tell him and he is totally justified in that. 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 (edited) I don't believe a word of it. This is what makes it totally unbelievable: Right now he is questioning why he doesn't hear the baby's kicks anymore. I don't know how to tell her that I had an abortion at the 10th week. Implying that he had possibly 'heard' them even before the 10-week mark....which is utterly impossible. It's all rubbish. And I hate to say it, but a student doesn't think of buying baby clothes at such an early stage - baby stuff is not cheap.... A crib? Fer chrissakes! Besides, most people like to know the sex of a baby before they begin buying clothes.... Nope. I think this is a pile of crock. Edited April 28, 2013 by TaraMaiden 1
SensitiveTJ Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 OP, you're going to be single soon. Best of luck.
Hopeless80 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I can only hope that this thread is some kind of a sick joke. You terminated a pregnancy that your boyfriend was excited about without talking to him first and you’re worried about him breaking up with you? You took your boyfriends child away from him. Things will not be “a-okay” once you tell him. At least, they shouldn’t be. If I were your boyfriend I would be devastated and you would have left me with no choice but to end the relationship. I mean think about it, how could he possibly trust you after this?
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