LynnLoyd Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 My life has been on a complete roller coaster for two years. My husband of ten years cheated on me once. I found out and we tried marriage counseling and all that stuff to try and save the marriage... My ex is military and after deployments he just seemed to come back different. Long story short. we separated and divorced July, he remarried October of the same year to a woman 15 years older than him. We have two kids under the age of 10. My ex and I had everything we ever wanted. I thought we really had it together. Well after a nasty year and a half we finally can communicate. His marriage with his new wife has ended. HE is being discharged from military, losing house to foreclosure, and has nothing compared to what he had before. I have a good job and have moved on in some areas.. I just keep holding on to him. I hold on to who he was before and maybe what we had before. I feel hopeless. Now that he is losing everything, he is reaching out to me. We used to be best of friends, and I know we both miss that. But I feel is drags be back closer to him. I have a great male friend, who I enjoy time with. he makes me laugh, and I have fun yet I do not see the potential for a relationship. I feel like my ex is down to nothing and wants to reconcile. This man destroyed me in every way. Destroyed our childrens lives and our security.. Why do I hold on? Why do I beliieve in "love" so much? even if it is love. I dont know. I just need advice on what to do. I think I hold on because of who we used to be, not who we are now. I dont think I could ever fully trust him again, or any other man for that matter.. So when would you consider a second chance? When should you stop even holding on? I really just do not know anymore. Im scared to hold on, yet even more scared not to..
shiver23 Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I can't say I've ever been in your shoes, but it sounds like you're holding on to the man your ex-husband used to be. He's NOT that man anymore. You've started over, you're keeping yourself busy and healthy. You have the power to let go and you've already started to do that. Maybe the man you're good friends with isn't the right guy for you, but I'm pretty sure that your ex-husband would be a BAD influence on your life now. Do you really want to risk having all that heartbreak again? My two bits are to leave your ex-husband entirely. It's not something you want back, it's just familiar so you think that it's all you CAN get. Believe in love, don't settle for someone who's left you and abused your trust.
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