Goodbye Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Did you stay in an affair longer than you wanted to because you feared the OW/OM would inform your spouse? We've discussed similar things, but I am wondering if any of you felt pressured to continue the relationship out of fear that ending it would cause upset with the AP and then a D-day. If so, was your plan to exit slowly over time in hopes of not "making waves" and causing a D-day?
WayneJay Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Not me. I stayed because of my child mainly. I had been done wiht the marriage for years by the time I met my girlfriend. I just did not want my child to be from a broken home because I had no idea what effect that would have on him. I also thought he was too young to process all of that until recently when he finally seemed to be old enough to understand some things. My exwife knew that I had a girlfriend I never tried to hide it from her at all. I told her point blank that I was only staying for our child and that I was not going to pretend any further than that that we were a cuople because we hadn't been for a long time. i did try to date another woman after my first girlfriend during my marriage broke up with me. She ended up being very unstable emotionally and went full fledged stalker on me and my kid and my ex wife. She called my ex wife and told her a bunch of **** that I never said but said I said it but it was all stuff she had said or thought herself not me. I got a restraining order on her and she tries to contact me sometimes to see if we can link up but I have no intereste in her at all because of how she acted during that whole thing. She really showed me her real personality and I didn't like it at all.
Praying4Peace Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 No, not at all. But that's just in my situation.
Curlyj Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Nope, I never felt pressured to stay with OM so he wouldnt tell my H. I know he would never do that...im fact one of the reason he ended it with me recently is because he was too afraid of what people would think of him as the OM when it became public knowledge. AND as a former ow, i would never had told MM exwife about our affair had he chose to end it with me. I am sure there are many many times this is the case though!
HonestNeurotic Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Did you stay in an affair longer than you wanted to because you feared the OW/OM would inform your spouse? We've discussed similar things, but I am wondering if any of you felt pressured to continue the relationship out of fear that ending it would cause upset with the AP and then a D-day. If so, was your plan to exit slowly over time in hopes of not "making waves" and causing a D-day? Wow. That sounds like blackmail. Continue to sleep with me or I'll tell your husband? Now THAT would get my ire up. I'm not some commodity, some item that one has purchased and can make demands on me. Wow. Just wow. That's a crazy person. Run away fast!
tryingto Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Towards the end of the A, I did sometimes wonder if my ex-MM was trying to "let me down gently" after some point he realized he wasn't going to move out like he had previously "promised" me. I don't know if it is truly what he was doing but I did question it at times.
SweetBella1 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 No; we entered the affair knowing that neither of us planned to leave our marriages. If he "outed" me to my H, then he knew his W would find out too. So we had each other by the necks.
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