Pea Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 When you have an arguement or a fight with your partner, do you ever resort to sexual means to help mend the situation and make up? Does your partner ever insist in sex as a way of making up or you proving something to them when you have a fight? I get the impression my boyfriend has an unhealthy focus on sex during the most turbulent times in our relationship. We will be trying to have a conversation to resolve an issue, and he will ask me to do something sexual to "make it up to him" or make him feel better. he will say stuff like "so why aren't you jumping into bed and doing something to me, why arent you taking your clothes off right now" etc etc etc....... I resist until he talks to me about the problem some more but..then i end up giving in and we end up getting physical... Funnily enough, the issue seems to "go away" after we have. why would someone suggest sex during the most tense time in a relationship? especially when it's clearly the last thing your partner would want to do right at that time?
SexualDeviant Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 During sex usualy, you don't think about stuff, and after sex you should be too tired, to think about anything. so basicly you tend to forget, Guys #1 secret WOOPS ITS BEEN LEAKED
Pea Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I get the feeling he might be doing it to make me feel awkward so he feels in control of the situation...
arcadia Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 make up sex can be the best sex ever... but it should definitely wait until after the argument is over. dont let him distract you with it. finish your conversation. work out your problem. then make up with awesome sex.
Merin Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Make up sex.....? Yes please! Why does he suggest having sex when the two of you ARE arguing... probably because it's worked in the past and the argument came to an end. Of course though your right, he needs to resolve the issue or help you find some closure to it then make up and be nice sex;)
Barby Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I too agree that "make up sex can be the best sex" at times! I also agree that you should wait until the arguement is over, communication is the only way to resolve an arguement/disagreement but afterwards a good session of love making is always the best way to get things back on track. My question to the orginal poster is if you feel he is doing this as a means of control then why in heck do you go along with it?
VivianLee Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Honey, take my advice and get it anyway you can!! (that was tacky wasn't it?? )... Actually, if he always does this before the situation is resolved....then that's not cool....you need to get it resolved first.....but afterwards....strip and jump him!!
pea Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 he actually asks me DURING a row where he feels im to blame why im not jumping into bed with him instead of sitting there upset or angry...like its a way for me to make it up to him or something.
SoleMate Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I agree that it sounds as if he is trying to control you. In the middle of an argument, after he's "put you in the wrong", you're supposed to get aroused, or fake arousal, and start performing a sex act? I don't think that's too likely.
JessicaAlmond Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 During sex usualy, you don't think about stuff, and after sex you should be too tired, to think about anything. so basicly you tend to forget, Guys #1 secret WOOPS ITS BEEN LEAKED Bingo! Guys dont want to hear the nagging and all that..they figure if they get you all hot and bothered the last thing on your mind will be the argument. If its an argument over petty things have sex..If it's serious and you actually want something resolved no NOOKIE till you get what you want. Put your foot down.
Jilly10340 Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 That's funny...when it's me and my guy arguing I'm always the one trying to have sex with him and he doesn't want to. Oh, how the tables have turned....
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