dallasfan405 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 So my Ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. She said she still cares about me and shes not ready to close the book on us yet and not to treat her like a stranger. She went out of town to be with her family for a week and during that time I would call her and text her only a few times a day for a couple of days and she would completley ignore me and then she eventually blocked me on facebook. So then I go no contact for 8 days and then I texted her when she got back she responded with like she was never ignoring me. She has been real nice the past couple of days but still cold hearted. She only texts back if I text her first and she never texts me first. Ive been asking to go to dinner she said today she cant she has plans with a couple of her girlfriends then I asked what about tomorrow she said she cant she has a whole bunch of stuff to do then she writes back saying maybe sometime next week we can go somewhere to feed our bellys I then text back k sounds good. Im 29 years old and ive been in a lot of relationships and was even married for 6 years but ive never cared for a girl as much as I care and love her. I feel like she is just playing mind games with me and just stringing me along. I wish she would just be honest and up front with me and just say dont contact me again or no I dont wanna go to dinner with you. She makes me feel like dirt cuz im the one always initiating the conversation and she takes forever to respond. I think she is prolly back with her ex boyfriend cuz they were texting back and forth while we were dating and she was lying to me about it. I just dont know what to do anymore I really wanna go no contact again but its just so hard. I really need some advice a little pep talk or just a little slap in the face and tell me just to man up and move on.
jttier Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I can sympathize with you man.( http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/387413-3rd-day-hardest-trying-stay-no-contact#post4813219) I can tell you that the feeling of being strung along and being kept in the dark sucks but can't let her control you anymore. Here's the cold hard truth... you can't change how she feels or doesn't feel or who she wants or doesn't want. All you can change is how you let it affect you. So man the **** up and go No Contact. Period. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/366654-caliguy-no-contact-guide-updated#post4510329 2
TaraMaiden Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 ...I really need some advice a little pep talk or just a little slap in the face and tell me just to man up and move on. Well here we go then. You're soooo Friend-Zoned. She's treating you like some kind of second-row buddy.... Not even an option, as opposed to a priority..... She's using you as something interesting to interact with, when she can be bothered. No Contact. Hugely successful, but only if you apply it - hugely. jttier gave you the link to the Ultimate No Contact Guide - it's actually my signature/link. But I take no thunder away from jttier - kudos to him for posting it, and many thanks.... Remember this: It's always the person who Cares The Least - who Controls The Most. She couldn't care less if she tried - and therefore has you strung up so high you believe you might fly. But she then drops you from a great height and leaves you in pain. Sure, you have to - absolutely have to - go No Contact. Or choose: How long do you want to carry on with this behaviour? Because it's you initiating it. So it's actually you inflicting the pain. How much of a masochist are you, really? And really - answer the question. 2
Author dallasfan405 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 No need to do that anymore cuz she finally told me we are not getting back together. I know I brought this all upon myself but she did lead me on. No girl has ever done this to me I've been crying and listening to sad songs and quite frankly I feel like a little baby right now crying over a girl, but it happens to the best of us. So I'm just gonna sit here drink some beer, listen to sad songs and soak in my tears for a while... Thank you all for the advice..
TaraMaiden Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 No need to do that anymore cuz she finally told me we are not getting back together. I know I brought this all upon myself but she did lead me on. Actually, no. She didn't. She friend-zoned you and you clung on desperately. She never once indicated "we might...", "we could...", "it's possible...", "let me think about it for a while...." You kept initiating contact - she kept responding. But she never led you on. She just used you, because you made yourself available to BE used. No girl has ever done this to me I've been crying and listening to sad songs and quite frankly I feel like a little baby right now crying over a girl, but it happens to the best of us. So I'm just gonna sit here drink some beer, listen to sad songs and soak in my tears for a while... Thank you all for the advice.. You've just picked the two worst things to do. Not one, not the other, but both - absolutely BOTH guaran-fekkin'-teed to prolong and deepen your depression. Sad songs and booze. You're actually making yourself feel worse, deliberately. Alcohol is a known depressant. It is chemically proven to make you feel worse, not better. And sad songs? One degree above slashing your wrists. I mean, honestly..... Let me give you a fact: A thought which establishes a morose state of mind, will do that for around 12 minutes - quarter of an hour. In other words, when you think ofyour break-up, the sadness this thought generates, only lasts a short period of time. (Max. 1/4 of an hour....) Any length of time after that, that you feel morose, depressed, deflated and sad - is self-inflicted. So you have to put this in perspective and understand that you're starting the long, slow, uphill road to recovery. A recovery you can assist by going No Contact, completely. It's going to be tough - but start on the right foot - and the going will be better. Quit the alcohol. Quit the sad songs. Quit perpetuating sadness. Go for your goal - move on. 1
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