ltomlinson81 Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 My boyfriend of 4 years and I just broke up about 2 weeks ago. Is it okay to start dating other people already? I just want to know what everyone thinks about waiting a while.
bluechocolate Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 It entirely depends on the person & the circumstances of the break up. Some relationships take a long time to finally end even though one or both parties may have stopped being emotionally involved for quite some time before actually saying "it's over". In that circumstance it just may be that you can start dating right away. It also depends on how you feel/felt about the break & if you're still in love with your ex. If you didn't end it and would rather you were still seeing your ex then dating other people is a disservice to them & yourself. Of course you can always start dating straight away but make it clear that what you are NOT looking for is another serious relationship right now. In my opinion people who are serial monogamists carry baggage around with them from one relationship straight into the next & the next and never figure out why they can't have a long term relationship.
Author ltomlinson81 Posted September 21, 2004 Author Posted September 21, 2004 See, I have mixed feelings. I broke up with him because he cheated. I still love him and wish we could be together, but the hurt I feel makes me want to see what else is out there. I will always love him and have a place in my heart for him, and I miss him every day, but I don't think I should wait around to find out if I will ever be able to forgive him. Or should I? A part of me says I should date around and see how it feels, but I don't want to disrespect my ex and what he meant to me.
WantanS4 Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 What's he say about what he did... cheat that is?
Author ltomlinson81 Posted September 21, 2004 Author Posted September 21, 2004 Of course, he is sorry. But we agreed that it is best that we are not together, at least for now. We kind of left it as a "we'll see what the future brings" kind of thing. We still talk once in a while, because we share a dog, but I don't see us getting back together.
CurlyIam Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 You do not disrespect your ex if you go on with your life. No offence, he's the one who has been cheating. One thing is clear:you need no one's permission to keep living, to want to see other people, to want to go out, have fun and be happy. Without him. Letting go is hard, but you must always remember that the most important person in your whole life is you. So just clear out your thoughts, make up your mind, get your priorities straight and... move on.
beautiful Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 that depends on why you broke up. It depends on that you fixed yourself and that you are ready to make healthy choices. If you date anytime before you are on a rebound and you will hurt people , that is not fair. So take care of you and learn from your past mistakes and most of all , be sure you are OK before you jump into dating again. Having someone in your life should be the icing on your already cake and not a must have! If you are not a happy and healthy individual and able to live your life without a relationship, you are not ready to start something new.
Panther Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 It is OK to date again when you meet soemone you would like to get to knowe better, and have left the past where the past belongs... in the past. Don't date to get back at him. Only date because you actually like th enew person. There will be residual feelings.. so be carefull.
Recommended Posts