Whatever Happened to Casual Dating?

[GirlMcDark]

Morning All,

 

Ok, so whatever happened to casual dating?

 

I'm not talking about what the "young" 21st century crowd considers "casual" dating. I don't mean hook-ups, one night stands, flings or using the "I don't want a commitment" issue guys and some girls use to put off being serious and just have sex.

 

I mean REAL dating! Going out with more than one person at a time, in order to keep your eyes and options open, to get to know more than one person/personality and see how the chemistry is "sans physical stuff", BEFORE you totally and fully commit to ONE person! You spend the time getting to know you and who you like and who would be the best fit for you. Both parties are doing this, both people are going out to have FUN! All parties know what is involved, know that they too are allowed to casually date others, and then.....after say the 4-5th date, if you make it that far with say 2 or 3 of them....you start the serious process of deciding who you prefer and start weeding out the ones who are "not going to work."

 

I mean, this was how it was done in my grandma's day, and even my mothers day. Hell....even my aunt in the 80's was doing this!!! Why is it such a hard concept for people to understand now? It has nothing to do with sex, as no sex is involved until you choose the ONE and you BOTH decide it will be exclusive...as in a REAL committed, monogamous relationship. Then, if either of you see another person....it's called cheating (but that is for another post, lol.)

 

I mean, look back at all those B&W movies. You will find girls getting called up and asked out by some guy and she'll be like "Oh well Bill, I'd love to, but i'm already going out with Dan tonight. No, I can't tomorrow, I am seeing Steven. Sure....Tuesday night works, lets go out then." Or some such line like that.....BOTH parties knew it was ok to casually date others, no ill feelings, no commitment issues, no ONE date and YOU ARE MINE type issues. It was all in fun and all about networking and seeing who, in the end, would turn out to be your Prince Charming, if you believe in that kind of thing, lol. In the 50's they did! But more to the point, the girl knew that having a full social life, and being OUT was better then sitting all alone. And the guys knew that she would have more than one suitor, and they would have to show her the best time possible and keep seeing her to hopefully stick out enough to eventually become THE ONE!

 

I'm dealing with the situations of wanting to casually date right now, and well.....guys not understanding. I AM looking for a true relationship and to become totally committed to someone. But I have been out of the dating scene for THREE YEARS! (I took the time after a bad relationship to just be alone and learn about ME!) I've talked to a number of guys, and have arranged to meet 2-3 of them. I have gone on ONE date, with a guy who I have talked to causally through email and phone for about 3 weeks now. He also lives 1-1/2 hours away from me, so it makes it hard for him to "date" often in person.

 

We had a really great date, and we both agreed we wanted to do it again. I told him I do consider him someone who I want to take the time to get to know and consider in the long run. BUT.....I mentioned about a day later, that a man had asked me out to coffee, and would he be ok with this? I do think that letting all parties know about your "dating" needs/wants is important. Well....he said I could do what I wanted, he thinks it's wrong and he wouldn't do it to another person. But that is we aren't dating, to let him know so he can pursue other options himself.

 

I was like hmmm.....we have gone on ONE date, so I thought we were "dating" and that it was open to you seeing others and me as well....since that's what "dating" means to me. I am kind of under the impression he thought, after just one date, that we were going to be exclusive and moving towards an ultimate end ie: LTR? Which yes, I want....but after NOT dating for 3 years, I don't want to just jump into a fully committed LTR with the first guy who happens to come along. I mean, I LIKE this guy, but I am still unsure that he is the ONE for me. It takes me a lot longer now that I am older (32), to know about someone....it takes more then instant lust or a great conversation to make me want to take that final leap....it takes more than ONE date for me.

 

So my question isn't is it WRONG to date more than one person. No, I don't think it is, and I think more people should develop dating skills and not focus so much on just ONE person. Putting all your eggs in one basket usually ends up getting you either disappointed or hurt. Go out, have fun, date other people, don't do anything physical with them (a kiss is ok, but no fooling around or sex!) Keep it light, keep your options open.....don't think you own someone or let them think they own you after only one or two dates.

 

But WHY do girls and some guys think they have to be on the fast track to a LTR? Why do they think after one date it means you are "exclusive?" What has happened to casual dating? I advocate we bring it back!

[sillyanswer]

Morning All,

 

Ok, so whatever happened to casual dating?

 

I don't think it has gone away!

[USMCHokie]

It has nothing to do with sex, as no sex is involved until you choose the ONE and you BOTH decide it will be exclusive...as in a REAL committed, monogamous relationship. Then, if either of you see another person....it's called cheating (but that is for another post, lol.)

 

It has everything to do with sex. Sex is a commodity in the 21st century. And online dating is its catalyst.

 

But WHY do girls and some guys think they have to be on the fast track to a LTR?

 

Because lots of people insist that they will only have sex in a LTR...so make it a LTR sooner rather than later so the sexing can start.

 

Easy day.

[GirlMcDark]

Yes, you are right. This thought has entered my head often as well.

 

I guess that because of my "past", I'm not saying I was a slut, but I had my "whorish" moments in my teens and 20's, lol. I am over it, I like sex as much as the next girl....but I don't feel a need to fast track to it.

 

I guess I am just in a slower pace in my life, I want the RIGHT relationship for once, and not getting my head, heart or body involved to fast. The 21st century is all about the fast track....and I prefer to take it slow.

 

One would figure a man of a certain age (ie: Over 35 might see it a bit slower too....but many don't!)

[USMCHokie]

I guess that because of my "past", I'm not saying I was a slut, but I had my "whorish" moments in my teens and 20's, lol. I am over it, I like sex as much as the next girl....but I don't feel a need to fast track to it.

 

And as long as there are women in their teens and 20s who are willing to fast track to it, your dating pool will narrow as men will simply take the easy route to sex.

 

Are you planning on doing online dating...?

[GirlMcDark]

I'm doing online dating now. I meant all the guys I am currently talking to, and the one I went on a date with though the site i'm on. I have gone on one date with him, and well.....he seems to think that we are now "officially" dating. So when he got mad when I mentioned coffee with another man....it kind of threw me, I'm like....we really are still getting to know each other. I haven't heard from him in over a day....

 

I kind of think that since he got in such a tizzy over something like this so early on, he ISN'T the right person for me, kind of a red flag right there.

 

I am talking to 3 other men, lined up to go out for coffee with one tomorrow.

[Mr_Flay]

When you say casual dating, I think of dating without too much expectation, taking it slowly. You should have titled your thread "Whatever happened to multidating?" Honestly, I seriously doubt that older generations multidated so much; I thought that was a relatively new invention. And I certainly wouldn't date a girl who juggled me and several other guys. I'd feel like a car she's taking out for a ride along with several others to see which one has a better mileage, so that she can finally make a purchase. I couldn't do the same thing to girls either. It's a basic lack of respect. Dating should mean sharing intimacy, from basic meet-ups and then progressing. If someone is sharing intimacy with multiple people at once, that's negative in my book.

[carhill]

Casual dating, of the type referred to in the 'black and white movies', pretty much ended with the sexual revolution, comprehensive female birth control, modern communication technologies and an increasingly mobile and disconnected (to their roots) population.

 

I've happened to live in the same relatively rural area for 53 and watched the evolution of one particular demographic. Indeed 'casual dating' did play a role here back in my younger days, and most people got married in their late teens to early 20's as a result of it. Then times changed and people changed.

 

People do what works. If casual dating without sex worked, people would do it. I imagine some still do; dinosaurs like myself. They're exceedingly hard to find, around here anyway. YMMV.

[Star Gazer]

Casual dating, of the type referred to in the 'black and white movies', pretty much ended with the sexual revolution, comprehensive female birth control, modern communication technologies and an increasingly mobile and disconnected (to their roots) population.

 

I wasn't alive when this occurred, but I think this, and Hokie's point about not wanting to have sex until you're in an exclusive relationship and thus rushing to monogamy, combined is the key.

 

Perpsbally, OP, I think it's wrong to casually date to "find yourself." People shouldn't be used to assist yourself with personal growth.

 

I see no problem with casually dating in the very very beginning, one or two dates in, but after that, if someone isn't naturally standing out to you and drawing your undivideded attention, then none of them are really the right person for you.

 

And of course... Relying on the movies is kinda silly.

[GoodOnPaper]

But WHY do girls and some guys think they have to be on the fast track to a LTR? Why do they think after one date it means you are "exclusive?"

 

I think these two questions can be very separate, depending on the person. If I was dating someone, it would be with LTR potential firmly in mind -- I always hated (and was very bad at) the initial meeting/attracting phase and wouldn't want to languish there any longer than absolutely necessary. That said, there's still no reason to feel "exclusive" after one or just a few dates. THAT said, because getting even one date with one woman was a lot of work for me, if I learned that she is juggling three or four guys and I'm only dating her, I would feel foolish and it would be a big turnoff.

[carhill]

So when he got mad when I mentioned coffee with another man....it kind of threw me, I'm like....we really are still getting to know each other. I haven't heard from him in over a day....

 

Part of the 'black and white movie' era stereotype was that a lady did not kiss and tell. IMO, there's no need to be transparent about other dating/meeting appointments as sharing such intimacies does not foster the 'get to know' process with the one in front of one, rather fosters an environment of overt competition. Watch a man talk to a lady on a date about other ladies he's dating for guidance on this aspect.

[Star Gazer]

Part of the 'black and white movie' era stereotype was that a lady did not kiss and tell. IMO, there's no need to be transparent about other dating/meeting appointments as sharing such intimacies does not foster the 'get to know' process with the one in front of one, rather fosters an environment of overt competition. Watch a man talk to a lady on a date about other ladies he's dating for guidance on this aspect.

 

Bingo! Major turnoff when a guy talks about his other dates. I'm not going to compete for a guy, and if he's telling me about another girl, he's obviously not that into me.

 

I would expect the same rationale to apply to women talking about their dates.

[Eggplant]

I'd feel like a car she's taking out for a ride along with several others to see which one has a better mileage, so that she can finally make a purchase.

Dating is a market. Sorry. I am getting to know multiple people and making comparisons, instead of blindly jumping into a long-term relationship with the first man who comes along, and wasting both of our time. Those relationships don't work out as well.

[MsSmurf]

Interesting post GirlMcDark. For me casual dating has not gone away (I generally refer to it as oldfashioned dating heheeh) as what you described is precisely what I am doing now and have done in the past. I too am searching for Mr. Right For Me to enter an LTR with, but I will not make that decision after one or two dates. I don't think this style of dating is completely gone, but it isn't as common when you consider more people date just to have sex, not to have a relationship.

 

I think the problem you had was asking Guy #1 if he minded if you went to coffee with someone else. You don't need his permission and shouldn't have asked for it. In fact you shouldn't have even brought it up.

 

When I meet a guy of interest I am clear from the beginning about what dating means to me. I do not give him the details of other guys I've gone on dates with or am talking to, but I make it clear that I'm keeping my options open and accepting invitations from others until I've met the right guy. I also make it clear that this isn't a one or two date process for me, it's not even a four or five date process for me. I even state that I assume they're doing the same thing until they've met the right one.

 

I also make it clear that there isn't sex of any kind. Sex is for LTR's. Now if that doesn't work for him then he is free to move on. Sticking with this manner of dating has helped me weed out guys that are dating just to have sex and don't actually want relationships, even if there aren't many guys left standing after I'm upfront about how I date. So if he sticks around he knows exactly what he is in for. If he asks me out on a night I have another date planned, I just tell him I have plans. I don't have to tell him I'm going on a date with so and so, I've already explained to him how I date and there is no need to try to make him jealous or anything. I certainly don't want to hear about his other dates.

 

I also want to say that there is nothing wrong with you for wanting to date in this manner. It just isn't the modern way of dating anymore so it will be more challenging, especially with online dating. I am actively online dating myself and yes more of the guys there are modern dating, but there are still some that prefer the style you and I prefer as well. There's even been a few times where a guy has figured I wasn't really serious, stuck around for awhile, figured out I was dead serious (yeah no sex on date 3 buddy and no fast tracked LTR) and bailed later. As tiring as it is to start over again I know what I want and I don't want to settle for a fast tracked sex based relationship just to satisfy some guys urge or to be able to say I have a boyfriend.

[Eggplant]

I get the impression that in the old days, either you were single or engaged/married. The in-between "going steady" phase didn't even always exist very distinctly. Haha they didn't mess around. I think of The Graduate which isn't even that old of a move. Yeah, she was kind of dating one second, engaged the next.

[MsSmurf]

I get the impression that in the old days, either you were single or engaged/married. The in-between "going steady" phase didn't even always exist very distinctly. Haha they didn't mess around. I think of The Graduate which isn't even that old of a move. Yeah, she was kind of dating one second, engaged the next.

 

Also in the old days people didn't have access to people all over the globe the way we do now. If you didn't go away to college/military service, work in a nearby city, or have a car then you were limited to the people around you. There was no internet that would allow you to chat with a possible suitor half way around the world. So that whole dating one second, engaged the next makes sense if your options are just the handful of single guys in your town.

[Robman9911]

It has everything to do with sex. Sex is a commodity in the 21st century. And online dating is its catalyst.

 

 

Because lots of people insist that they will only have sex in a LTR...so make it a LTR sooner rather than later so the sexing can start.

 

Easy day.

 

I think this is the case I had a girl wanting to be my GF after a couple dates, im not into titles so didnt bother me then she started wanting sex.. So its like a way to making them feel its ok to have sex.

[USMCHokie]

I think this is the case I had a girl wanting to be my GF after a couple dates, im not into titles so didnt bother me then she started wanting sex.. So its like a way to making them feel its ok to have sex.

 

Slut shame is a powerful thing indeed...

[GirlMcDark]

MsSmurf.....I think you are right in that I didn't owe him anything and I shouldn't have said anything to him. But we had been talking by email and phone for 3 wks, and I had mentioned on multiple occasions that I wanted to take things slow, I was JUST getting back into dating after 3 yrs out of a very toxic relationship. I mentioned how I was still looking for that person who would make me happy, and that I wasn't going to settle etc.

 

I had given him many openings into knowing how my mind was working as as what dating means to me. I even point blank remember having a convo on the phone with him that I said I like the idea of "old fashioned" dating as you call it, and he didn't seemed shocked, he just said "well, that's fine", only now I think he thought I meant just taking it slow with HIM and him alone?!?

 

We went on our date about a week ago, and in that time he has written emails that contain things about what he wants us to do in the future, how I would like him mom, how sex will be between us etc. I felt like he was planning out the next 40 yrs of our lives, lol. I was always like...ok yeah, some of that sounds nice but we are still in the GETTING TO KNOW each other phase, no rush! So I think the other night, after he mentioned about me coming to see him and staying for a weekend....and we had only had ONE DATE! I was like ummm...ok let me just let you know what page I am on. So I mentioned that I was asked out, and I hope he was ok with that, cause we are still getting to know one another. And yeah....I don't think it made him happy.

 

To respond to a few other posts on here....1. I am not dating multiple guys to "find myself" I know who I am. I have spent the past 3 yrs alone getting to know me better and work through the issues I know I had stemming from other relationships and childhood that I brought into relationships. I have always been, before now, a serial monogamist. I have focused on one guy and one guy only and that has usually lead to a LTR, and those have ended in rather bad ways. I wanted to try it the "old fashioned" way....as that is where I really feel I am in my life right now. I WANT an LTR, but I am not going to settle or jump into anything to soon.

 

It's more about finding myself through knowing what I want in a man. I mean, I might have a tentative list about qualities I want, things I won't put up with. But it's only in dating and getting to know more about various men, will I have a full overview of how I AM NOW on men and dating and what I want.....cause there may be some things I am not aware of that I won't put up with, or things I may not even know I want in a guy until he show me how he is....it's getting to know what I want through dating.

 

2. Yeah, most people want to fast track to sex. Having done this a number of times in my life, with disastrous results sometimes, I am not wanting to sleep with a man until I know he is the one I want to focus on, and well....I am not counting dates and saying "ok, it's been date 3 or 4...time to get busy!" It will be MUCH longer than this, I know me well enough now to know I will take it sloooow. I can't give a time length, it will just happen when I feel like I am ready. I have gone 3 YEARS without sex, I think I can wait a month or two or three longer!

 

3. I am not relying on movies to set my standards of dating, that was just an example I was sighting. My grandma is 83, she has told me many stories of her past and youth. She and her friends "multi-dated" in their teens and early 20's. She even dated the brother of the man she ultimately married ie: My grandpa! Now, they don't kiss and tell may apply, as in she never mentioned the when and how's of her sex life. But reading between the lines, I am sure she was a virgin when she married my grandpa in 1950.

 

But she certainly dated a number of men for fun, she has pictures of her and her friends double dating with men, on the back are written names like Adam, Joseph, Milton and Ward. None of those men became her husband. She just went out and had fun! I also use to do volunteer work at a local nursing home, and to hear some of those women and men talk....they all had good times, fun times, not hanky panky (though I know from history that it did happen....nothing in history is to different from now....sex is still sex and men are still men and women still are women! It happened!) But overall.....many people dated around just to have some interesting people to know and to go out and do fun things with.

 

So no....movies are not my basis of fact...but they do paint a some what accurate picture of dating life at the time they were made.

 

I've now decided to just date who I please, and not mention the others to anyone until I decide on who I want to focus on!

[Mrlonelyone]

It is strange girl.

 

I am in such a situation right now and feeling conflicted about it. Everyone says I should be offended and send an ultimatum. On the other hand I see it as a matter of playing it cool and casual. I give freedom and retain my own freedom. I give affection and intimacy and get affection and intimacy. We get different things from different people.

 

Yet if I were married or engaged that would all stop cold.

 

 

What people do now is go on one good date...then act as if they are married. Then they wonder why it does not last.

 

Casual dating exist but it's going away. It's becoming hang out and hook up culture and being replaced by the rush to monogamy.

[Mr_Flay]

Dating is a market. Sorry. I am getting to know multiple people and making comparisons, instead of blindly jumping into a long-term relationship with the first man who comes along, and wasting both of our time. Those relationships don't work out as well.

 

We can treat people like goods, but then we shouldn't complain when they treat us the same and discard us for a better "brand". Or we can treat people like human beings in all their complexity and get to know them slowly, day by day. Nobody said you have to jump into anything blindly. But the need to compare someone with other people before you become "exclusive" is just...wrong. People can't be compared like that. It's apples and oranges.

[MsSmurf]

MsSmurf.....I think you are right in that I didn't owe him anything and I shouldn't have said anything to him. But we had been talking by email and phone for 3 wks, and I had mentioned on multiple occasions that I wanted to take things slow, I was JUST getting back into dating after 3 yrs out of a very toxic relationship. I mentioned how I was still looking for that person who would make me happy, and that I wasn't going to settle etc.

 

I had given him many openings into knowing how my mind was working as as what dating means to me. I even point blank remember having a convo on the phone with him that I said I like the idea of "old fashioned" dating as you call it, and he didn't seemed shocked, he just said "well, that's fine", only now I think he thought I meant just taking it slow with HIM and him alone?!?

 

We went on our date about a week ago, and in that time he has written emails that contain things about what he wants us to do in the future, how I would like him mom, how sex will be between us etc. I felt like he was planning out the next 40 yrs of our lives, lol. I was always like...ok yeah, some of that sounds nice but we are still in the GETTING TO KNOW each other phase, no rush! So I think the other night, after he mentioned about me coming to see him and staying for a weekend....and we had only had ONE DATE! I was like ummm...ok let me just let you know what page I am on. So I mentioned that I was asked out, and I hope he was ok with that, cause we are still getting to know one another. And yeah....I don't think it made him happy.

 

It also sounds like his definition of "taking it slow" was totally different if he was already bringing up his mom and asking you to spend the weekend with him. I've had that problem in the past to and ended up with a very pissed off guy. Giving a guy many openings into your mind also can lead to vague hints or unclear language which will again lead to hurt feelings. So here's what I would suggest to you..... do not use that type of phrasing, don't be vague, and don't drop hints. Literally spell out your style of dating. Yes I mean assume he's stupid and explain it in very simple yet detailed terms.

 

This is a conversation that needs to happen early and I have found it best on date 1. Some might say that's way too soon, but I disagree. I tried waiting until date 3 or 4 to bring it up and the results were disastrous. So on date 1 if I'm interested in continuing to get to know him I make sure he very clearly understands where I'm at and how I'm comfortable proceeding. This leads to no surprises and he can stick around or bail.

[outsidethebox]

I'm doing online dating now. I meant all the guys I am currently talking to, and the one I went on a date with though the site i'm on. I have gone on one date with him, and well.....he seems to think that we are now "officially" dating. So when he got mad when I mentioned coffee with another man....it kind of threw me, I'm like....we really are still getting to know each other. I haven't heard from him in over a day....

 

I kind of think that since he got in such a tizzy over something like this so early on, he ISN'T the right person for me, kind of a red flag right there.

 

I am talking to 3 other men, lined up to go out for coffee with one tomorrow.

 

I agree with you, but was it ever kosher to mention possibility of another guy on a date?

 

Shouldn't be. Just as you red flagged that guy, someone that does that would be red flagged as well imo. Might as well just say you aren't interested. Or maybe you were.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

MsSmurf.....I think you are right in that I didn't owe him anything and I shouldn't have said anything to him. But we had been talking by email and phone for 3 wks, and I had mentioned on multiple occasions that I wanted to take things slow, I was JUST getting back into dating after 3 yrs out of a very toxic relationship. I mentioned how I was still looking for that person who would make me happy, and that I wasn't going to settle etc.

 

I had given him many openings into knowing how my mind was working as as what dating means to me. I even point blank remember having a convo on the phone with him that I said I like the idea of "old fashioned" dating as you call it, and he didn't seemed shocked, he just said "well, that's fine", only now I think he thought I meant just taking it slow with HIM and him alone?!?

 

We went on our date about a week ago, and in that time he has written emails that contain things about what he wants us to do in the future, how I would like him mom, how sex will be between us etc. I felt like he was planning out the next 40 yrs of our lives, lol. I was always like...ok yeah, some of that sounds nice but we are still in the GETTING TO KNOW each other phase, no rush! So I think the other night, after he mentioned about me coming to see him and staying for a weekend....and we had only had ONE DATE! I was like ummm...ok let me just let you know what page I am on. So I mentioned that I was asked out, and I hope he was ok with that, cause we are still getting to know one another. And yeah....I don't think it made him happy.

 

To respond to a few other posts on here....1. I am not dating multiple guys to "find myself" I know who I am. I have spent the past 3 yrs alone getting to know me better and work through the issues I know I had stemming from other relationships and childhood that I brought into relationships. I have always been, before now, a serial monogamist. I have focused on one guy and one guy only and that has usually lead to a LTR, and those have ended in rather bad ways. I wanted to try it the "old fashioned" way....as that is where I really feel I am in my life right now. I WANT an LTR, but I am not going to settle or jump into anything to soon.

 

It's more about finding myself through knowing what I want in a man. I mean, I might have a tentative list about qualities I want, things I won't put up with. But it's only in dating and getting to know more about various men, will I have a full overview of how I AM NOW on men and dating and what I want.....cause there may be some things I am not aware of that I won't put up with, or things I may not even know I want in a guy until he show me how he is....it's getting to know what I want through dating.

 

2. Yeah, most people want to fast track to sex. Having done this a number of times in my life, with disastrous results sometimes, I am not wanting to sleep with a man until I know he is the one I want to focus on, and well....I am not counting dates and saying "ok, it's been date 3 or 4...time to get busy!" It will be MUCH longer than this, I know me well enough now to know I will take it sloooow. I can't give a time length, it will just happen when I feel like I am ready. I have gone 3 YEARS without sex, I think I can wait a month or two or three longer!

 

3. I am not relying on movies to set my standards of dating, that was just an example I was sighting. My grandma is 83, she has told me many stories of her past and youth. She and her friends "multi-dated" in their teens and early 20's. She even dated the brother of the man she ultimately married ie: My grandpa! Now, they don't kiss and tell may apply, as in she never mentioned the when and how's of her sex life. But reading between the lines, I am sure she was a virgin when she married my grandpa in 1950.

 

But she certainly dated a number of men for fun, she has pictures of her and her friends double dating with men, on the back are written names like Adam, Joseph, Milton and Ward. None of those men became her husband. She just went out and had fun! I also use to do volunteer work at a local nursing home, and to hear some of those women and men talk....they all had good times, fun times, not hanky panky (though I know from history that it did happen....nothing in history is to different from now....sex is still sex and men are still men and women still are women! It happened!) But overall.....many people dated around just to have some interesting people to know and to go out and do fun things with.

 

So no....movies are not my basis of fact...but they do paint a some what accurate picture of dating life at the time they were made.

 

I've now decided to just date who I please, and not mention the others to anyone until I decide on who I want to focus on!

 

Look, you could backwards rationalize it any way you want. The fact of the matter is you made a mistake: you told the guy that you were seeing other guys.

 

That's a turn-off for most people (both guys and girls).

 

Acknowledge your mistake and don't do it again. Simple.

[Mrlonelyone]

When it comes to this there are at least two kinds of people.

 

People who think having multiple suitors is a good thing as long as no one makes any promises. Commitments have to be made explicit and cannot be assumed.

 

People who think that one or two dates means you are exclusive no further explanation needed.

 

I'm sure there are other styles of dating. The only thing that is wrong, in my book, is making a promise to one person only to break it. A promise not made cannot be broken.