Still_waiting Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 So, I met this guy online last November and we seemed to it hit off. He appeared really interested, asked me out right away and we exchanged numbers. We kept in contact via text the week before our scheduled date as he was out of town for work. He seemed quite nice and we shared some common interests and I was looking forward to the date. However, the day of our first date I ended up having to cancel due to some family drama that would have left it impossible for me to be present on our date (I just cannot focus if a loved one is in the hospital). I felt awful and sent him an apology test explaining what had happened about a week later once things had cooled down on my end. He said he understood and I got up the nerve to ask him out and he agreed. We kept in touch all that week via text, but the day we were supposed to meet he canceled when I contacted him to see if we were still on, explaining that he was swamped with work. I didn't feel like I had the right to be mad, seeing as how I had canceled that first time but I did wonder if he was doing it to get back at me. I didn't hear from him again for about 3.5 months until the end of March when I randomly received a text from him! We exchanged pleasantries and he sent me a song that he wrote (we're both musicians). He started texting me every other day or so and I was enjoying interacting with him. He started using pet names on me like "love" and seemed overly concerned of my approval of his new music project. When he suggested that we move past texting, I agreed, and he set up a time to meet me for the following week. A couple day later he tells me that he noticed we have a mutual friend on FB. Eventually he adds me and I'm pretty stoked having verified through said mutual friend that he is sweet, funny, intelligent, talent and really cute. The couple of days before we were to meet, he didn't contact me so much but more or less kept "in touch" (if you can call it that) by liking my FB posts and sending me music that he liked etc. The night before our date I still hadn't heard from him regarding our date and so I sent him a text asking when and where we were going to meet the next day. He wrote back an hour later saying he was still at work (it was 10:45 at night) and had been really spacey cause he was stressed and had taken an opportunity to record vocal overdubs for a song he'd been working on and could we reschedule. I responded "ok, have fun recording vocals" and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning to an apologetic text saying "I'm really sorry and I hope you're not bummed out." I wrote him back saying that I understood that he was busy and had priorities and that I was still interested in meeting if he was and he thanked me for being understanding. I'm not sure if I should give him another chance or just move on. Is this guy just playing some odd game with me? I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I dunno...
carhill Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Welcome to LS Tell me what his voice sounds like.
Author Still_waiting Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Seems like an awful lot to go through in order to get a stranger to have sex with him. He's a pretty attractive guy from what I can tell in his pics (and through my friend's confirmation) so that seems a bit odd. He has a nice singing voice. I have yet to talk to him on the phone and yes I find this annoying, but I really don't know anyone who picks up the phone and calls these days.
carhill Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I have yet to talk to him on the phone and yes I find this annoying, but I really don't know anyone who picks up the phone and calls these days. Everyone in my social and business circle does. I talked to a couple dozen today. Think about it, are you going to text your 'sweet nothings' in bed? Relationships are about personal interaction, and my banging on this keyboard is anything but personal. Same with texts. They have their place. Since there's no movement towards pressing flesh, and it's been a long time since first contact, entertain other prospects. That's my advice. This guy is a dry hole. 1
outsidethebox Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Seriously, OP, he appears to have anxiety meeting you and possibly anyone. It's a little precious but he may be a sensitive musician, etc. Does he perform publically, even a coffeehouse acoustic gig, open nights, anything? If he is in public then I'm offbase, but you also could ask about it and tell him you'll be there, etc. Assuming it's all very private, he's hiding behind his work, using it as an excuse probably. Maybe once met it's no longer an issue, maybe just a matter of meeting, but maybe it's something he'll continue to do. Instead of another long wait, I'd suggest seeing about meeting for a chat over coffee or a drink in next day or two, that type of thing, not a big deal, not long and drawn out, and if he has a problem doing that that pretty much tells you what trying to date him would be like.
Keenly Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 What's wrong with you people? Did you read the post? She cancelled first. He cancelled second. Some how he is a bad person now? ????? Logic???
ja123 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Since there's no movement towards pressing flesh, and it's been a long time since first contact, entertain other prospects. That's my advice. This guy is a dry hole. I agree with carhill. He sounds like a flake. Plus he's probably multi-dating. I mean y'all starting texting in November, right? No meet? That's weird. 1
Author Still_waiting Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Perhaps it's silly, but I feel like he ought to be the one to contact me if he wants to meet up. I feel like if I chase him I'll be wondering if he really likes me or is just being nice. This is confusing! I don't think he plays out in public now with his new project though he used to be in a band back in the day. I really don't want to think of him as some sleazy dude trying to trick me into sleeping with him... eek. I am curious about this article though.
outsidethebox Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Ok, then just wait for his promised reschedule and it is what it is. What article are you curious about? I missed the reference.
Author Still_waiting Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Article *correction* >>> thread about guys using tactics like this to trick a woman into bed with them. It was one of the first responses. ** I think I'm going to have to go with the move on advice **
ja123 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Article *correction* >>> thread about guys using tactics like this to trick a woman into bed with them. It was one of the first responses. Oh yeah, that was the thread, Brick started. Don't believe that sh*t! Moving on sounds like it's the best option.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I be curious to know to know why he decided to disappear for a couple of months before setting up a 3rd date. I don't care how busy his work is but if someone goes without contacting it's either because they're lazy, or their interests in you weren't all that much to prompt them to sent a text or call your way. In either case, it just seems like this guy is jerking your chains around and doesn't really want to follow through with meeting you. When you meet someone like you learn to go silent on them because they're just a waste of time.
outsidethebox Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Article *correction* >>> thread about guys using tactics like this to trick a woman into bed with them. It was one of the first responses. ** I think I'm going to have to go with the move on advice ** yeah, it was pretty funny. The claim was that there was an OLD technique for a guy to get laid some hilariously precise number (97.6%? typical in scams) by cancelling first two dates and then some ruse to go to take something to her residence where she would irresistably go to bed with you. This just shows you how ignorant some men are. Women would never fall for stories like this. Say the reverse, like cancelling two dates and the guy would be irresistably attracted, etc. hmmmm, wait a minute, that sounds a little familiar... 1
Author Still_waiting Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Haha, oh gosh no! This does NOT make him more attractive to me. Gee, a guy who's not really into me and keeps trying to waste my time!! How hot!! Wait, what? No. I'm now more interested in thoughts on his behavior. I think a lot of people skimmed over the fact that he's now canceled twice and also the disappear/reappear act. This is what I thought was most odd, especially because I felt like he came on really strong when we started communicating again.
MsSmurf Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 You cancelled, then he cancelled. Those I don't think are concerning since you both had valid reasons. What is telling is that 3.5 months went by before you heard from him again. So during all that time he was sooooo busy that he never thought to call or text? Doubtful. It doesn't matter what he was doing during that time because its clear he's just not that into you. If he were then he would have kept up better communication and he would have been trying to see you a lot sooner. Since you guys are in the same industry there's nothing wrong with keeping in touch and being friends, but he isn't relationship material and he's not looking for that with you anyway.
crude Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Perhaps it's silly, but I feel like he ought to be the one to contact me if he wants to meet up. I feel like if I chase him I'll be wondering if he really likes me or is just being nice. But if he contacts you first, won't you be wondering if he really likes you or just wants sex. That kind of wondering is just as bad as the other kind of wondering.
ja123 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I'm now more interested in thoughts on his behavior. I think a lot of people skimmed over the fact that he's now canceled twice and also the disappear/reappear act. This is what I thought was most odd, especially because I felt like he came on really strong when we started communicating again. He was probably dating someone else, and then came back to you for an ego stroke when it didn't work out with her.
Yookie Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Ok so you cancel then he cancels.. fine. He waits 3 months to reschedule then comes on strong and cancels AGAIN!?!... not OK. Next...
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