mammasita Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 So it's been almost 3 months of NC since we broke up (minus the one time he texted about coming by to drop off some of my stuff). Tonight I feel like texting his sister to ask if he's changed any. This is because I had some of his mail in my box today. I know they are bills because I made sure the **** was paid when he lived with me and I recognize the addresses. Anyway, seeing the bills makes me feel like he hasn't changed a bit....and I feel like I want to know for sure.......but I know in reality it won't help a damn bit......but I feel like I need to know.......
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 What good will it do? I'll tell you what good it can do: Pain. Pain, and more pain. Do not fail after so long. People do not change so readily. Remain tough. Do not poison your progress...
Simon Phoenix Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 So it's been almost 3 months of NC since we broke up (minus the one time he texted about coming by to drop off some of my stuff). Tonight I feel like texting his sister to ask if he's changed any. This is because I had some of his mail in my box today. I know they are bills because I made sure the **** was paid when he lived with me and I recognize the addresses. Anyway, seeing the bills makes me feel like he hasn't changed a bit....and I feel like I want to know for sure.......but I know in reality it won't help a damn bit......but I feel like I need to know....... I don't really get the point of doing this.
Author mammasita Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 I don't really get the point of doing this. There is no point, and I know this.....But the heart and brain rarely agree. Have you read 90% of posts here.
Author mammasita Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 What good will it do? I'll tell you what good it can do: Pain. Pain, and more pain. Do not fail after so long. People do not change so readily. Remain tough. Do not poison your progress... No good at all.....and I'm fully aware of this. I'm doing good. Yes, I miss him.....yes, I have sporadic dreams of reconciliation.....but my brain knows better.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I still have my ex pop up in my dreams. Only because well ..dreams are uncontrollable and I knew her forever. This is because he is always on your mind. Stresses you. As you sleep, your brain is sorting this all out...so you don't pop.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 There is no point, and I know this.....But the heart and brain rarely agree. Have you read 90% of posts here. But even from the heart's perspective I don't get this.
Author mammasita Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 But even from the heart's perspective I don't get this. Are you a Cylon?
Simon Phoenix Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Are you a Cylon? I don't know what this means.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I don't know what this means. Battlestar Galactica. They are machines and or droids or something cybernetic.
Simon Phoenix Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Battlestar Galactica. They are machines and or droids or something cybernetic. Never seen Battlestar Galatica, so therein lies the confusion. But I don't understand why the OP wants to know if her ex has changed his philosophy on paying bills and why she'd think that he's completely changed who he is. I get that she is aching for any sort of news on him, but that's a strange angle to take. Plus asking a relative of the ex about the ex is rarely a good thing. My ex is the sister-in-law of one of my best friends. I have never asked her sister (his wife) about my ex once. I'll talk to him about it occasionally (He was my friend way before he was her brother-in-law) but even then, I never ask specifically about her.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Call it a moment of weakness. Perhaps do to loneliness. Most-likely due in part with pain. Love-pain is rarely ever logical. Surely has a reason it alone understands. Good thing is that the OP has decided not to do that. Came here so we could "stop" her. Some are not as strong as others. Three months is not very long...like a flicker of light.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Here are the two scenarios: 1. His sister tells you that he has changed. So he's changed..but he's not pursuing you. Ouch. 2. His sister tells you that he hasn't changed. So he hasn't bothered to do any work on himself at all, not for you or anyone else. Also ouch. Either way, you get hurt. 1
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