Alice590 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Ok so I just moved in recently to an apartment near my college with a female roommate. When I was fixing my things she was just sitting on her bed watching me with a weird smile on her face. After a month she started squeezing my butt whenever she could like when i'm looking back or something. I just laugh whenever she does that :| once i got really annoyed i asked her to stop doing it and she said "don't you like when I do that?" with a playful voice -.- Also, I like wearing shorts. sometimes i just catch her staring at my butt. She sometimes offers to take a shower together O.O Also last night she came to my bed at around 2 am and hugged me and put her leg over me. her face was so close to mine i could feel her breathing. She asked me if she could sleep beside me because she "was cold". i couldn't say no though i dont wanna seem bad. I couldn't sleep till like 4 am and she started rubbing my arm and kissing me! i told her to stop and she did, thank god -.-. I'm confused as to what to do. My roommate who came on to me is really attractive, but I'm not really into girls and I don't want to her to feel bad. What should i do?
SweetiePie12 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Tell her you're not gay. It's quite that simple. 1
Author Alice590 Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 And risk angering her for the next few months until our rent contract expires?
Citizen Erased Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 And risk angering her for the next few months until our rent contract expires? Her getting angry isn't really worse than her assaulting you in your sleep. 4
SweetiePie12 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 And risk angering her for the next few months until our rent contract expires? Aren't there harassment laws against this, though? Does she have anger problems? How well do you know her?
Author Alice590 Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 (edited) Aren't there harassment laws against this, though? Does she have anger problems? How well do you know her? I have no idea, I'm from Canada but I go to school in the States. I've known her for about 2 months now and and she has some anger problems. Overall she's a nice and fun person to be around. Edited April 27, 2013 by Alice590
Eggplant Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 You have to stand up for yourself. She's out of line. Don't let people walk over you just to keep the peace. Bullies don't care about the peace, and will take advantage of people who are too afraid to rock the boat and defend themselves. No, in life you have to stand your ground, and that goes for not letting any man or woman sexually abuse you. It's not possible in life to get along with everybody and not cause a scene, because some people shamelessly push boundaries, like your roommate. Keep a log of everything she says or does, reject it and stand your ground. 1
carhill Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Presuming you have separate bedrooms, 'I'm straight/hetero and prefer to sleep alone. Thanks.'
ChessPieceFace Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 What should i do? What you should do is imagine if your roommate was a guy who had done all those things, and then figure out how fast you'd run screaming / how fast you'd call the police. Wow double standards. 4
Mrlonelyone Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Yes just act as if she were a man doing those things. 3
SweetiePie12 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I have no idea, I'm from Canada but I go to school in the States. I've known her for about 2 months now and and she has some anger problems. You need to get out of there. Please. Overall she's a nice and fun person to be around. But, if it was a male roommate who groped and leered at you, then had the nerve to get in your bed, would you think he was "nice and fun", too?
whichwayisup Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Tell her she's your roommate and friend, that's it and to not touch you or come onto you anymore. Just be honest and tell her that you're not into women. She's pushing herself onto you and that isn't right. 1
Eve Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I agree with Mrlonely. The response should be no different to if a man was invading your space. A former friend made a pass at me and the shock off it felt different because I had not added up all the clues until she was all over me. Didn't see it coming at all. Just tell her you are not interested in her in that way and not to touch you again. If she does it again, consider taking things further as this is a form of sexual harrassment. Take care, Eve x 1
Buttercup84 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I would have no problem with a gay flatmate, but that is crossing the line. If she were a guy it would be the same. Tell her that you like men, or if you want just mention hot guys. But do not be afraid to be up front and say she has to back off. As women we are often to polite.
Author Alice590 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I would have no problem with a gay flatmate, but that is crossing the line. If she were a guy it would be the same. Tell her that you like men, or if you want just mention hot guys. But do not be afraid to be up front and say she has to back off. As women we are often to polite. I took your advice and told her that I wasn't really interested in her because I'm straight, but she laughed and brushed it off ;(. I brought one of my male friends over to hang out and watch some movies. Even then I don't think she cared too much about it. She hasn't intruded me in my bed again but she still stares at me sometimes when she think I'm not looking and grab me sometimes.
strozzap Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 To me it seems like you are interested in her. You feel some sexual desire and want to experiment it with her. Why? Otherwise you would be push her away but you are passively accepting her. You sent a message on here and tell your brain "no way" I don't want to do that for personal reasons. Maybe because you don't think it's right to have gay sex. Your body says yes yes I want to f** with her, but your mind says no. How about you try and see how you like it?
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