xxjustinukxx Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Hello everyone, I'm sitting typing this message through teary, sore eyes and I'm hoping to get some advice... My wife and I separated just over two years ago, and although about 4 months after we parted, my wife admitted to an affair with one of my close friends, this wasn't the reason for the split. Although it was obviously symptomatic of the serious problems we had. When she confessed to the affair, I was devastated, and up until recently, I've moved on from it, and it was becoming a distant memory. However, and here's the heart of my problem - my ex admitted she still occasionally sleeps with the vile man she cheated on me with - casually stating that it "scratches an itch". I went home that night and couldn't stop crying, it feels like my heart is breaking all over again. Particularly as she always said to me there's no chance she would go back to him. Another point is that she sometimes complains to me that the bloke is "hassling" her to get back together! Well, that begs the question, why sleep with him then?! You may wonder why I care so much, but my ex and I have a good friendship and I want it to stay that way. We have three children together. Why does this still hurt so much? I thought I was getting over it, and now I feel I'm going backwards. Any help would be more helpful than I could say!
xpaperxcutx Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Your ex is emotionally manipulative--she's trying to stir the pot of the sexual affair she had. For the sake of your health and your children, you shouldn't be anywhere near her unless you have to see the kids. She's a cheater and cheaters are known to be selfish and manipulative. 1
BluEyeL Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I'm so sorry for your pain, man! The above poster is right, try to have as little un-necessary contact with her as possible. Why did she have to tell you that to hurt you?
Author xxjustinukxx Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Your ex is emotionally manipulative--she's trying to stir the pot of the sexual affair she had. For the sake of your health and your children, you shouldn't be anywhere near her unless you have to see the kids. She's a cheater and cheaters are known to be selfish and manipulative. Thank you paper cut, we were chatting and it came up in conversation, though it didn't sound like she was trying to rub it in. Any other advice would be great as I have no one to talk to. I've kept the affair to myself as I don't want my family to hate her. Thank you again!
Author xxjustinukxx Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 I'm so sorry for your pain, man! The above poster is right, try to have as little un-necessary contact with her as possible. Why did she have to tell you that to hurt you? We were chatting and I asked her if she'd ever let it get that far, and she told me. I'm hurting so much. I wish it didn't hurt like this. I dint understand why it does. Thanks for the reply!
xpaperxcutx Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Thank you paper cut, we were chatting and it came up in conversation, though it didn't sound like she was trying to rub it in. Any other advice would be great as I have no one to talk to. I've kept the affair to myself as I don't want my family to hate her. Thank you again! If she wasn't rubbing it in your face, she wouldn't be telling you the affair and seeing this man was her way of " scratching an itch". Really? She's not making herself look good here. A decent person who has tact wouldn't bring up the fact that they cheated. What's the purpose of doing so? Imagine if you had found out from a third person pov of that they were cheated by their ex, you would show disgust at how low that sort of action is. 1
BluEyeL Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 She just wanted to hurt you, that's the only purpose and that's very low Keep your chin up, it's going to pass! Do something you enjoy and be kind to yourself! Try to have friends around you, I don't know....having people around always helped me through tough times. Exercise and being outside also helps. Best of luck!
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