A Sordid Tale of Deception & Heartbreak

[Miss_Willowick]

I’m new here but please bear with me as I attempt to tell my story as I am hurting now and really do need some more clarity on, well, everything that’s happened and it involves someone whom I had somehow fallen for….

 

But before I continue, let’s say an old high school friend who now lives a few hours away that you’ve been talking to and became reacquainted with on the internet via Facebook, only this time on a romantic level, for almost a year, decides to visit you.

 

So he arrives at your door, sweeps you into his arms and gives you a loooong amorous kiss that’s so full of passion it nearly leaves you breathless. Then you and he wine and dine for a couple of hours till he takes your hand and leads you into the bedroom and makes passionate love to you.

 

Then you leave the room and sleep in the guest room so he can have the bed all to himself.

 

Then when you wake up, you take a shower and then climb back into bed with the guy where his back is up against you and you’re holding him into your arms, yet, even though you know he’s now waking up, he does not turn around to kiss you and instead just continues to lay there in that same position feigning sleep until you realize that he has no intention of turning around to face you to reciprocate your hug, let alone giving you a kiss.

 

Then after a few awkward minutes go by, you get out of bed and decide to fix breakfast for both of you.

 

Then he comes out of the bedroom, fully dressed and says he doesn’t have time for breakfast and that he‘ll call you later sometime in the day and, like a bat outta hell, he’s out the door!

 

Then you’re waiting for him to call later on in the day but he never does and when you send him an email the next day just to say hi he doesn’t respond to it.

 

Then, as more days go by where you don’t hear from him, you realize that you’ve just entertained and gone to bed with a Player -- a guy who only shows up just to have sex with you with no intention whatsoever in having any kind of relationship with you… not even as a friend and that he’s too busy now trying to win over and conquest his next target.

 

My Story:

 

Now take this scenario and supposing you unwittingly invite the same kind of guy (Old high school friend who you had not seen in decades… including a year of him expressing his love and devotion to you with plans for your and his future together etc via phone etc.. prior to when he visited) to live with you because he decided to move back to his hometown to be near his sons (and you too, of course).

 

And supposing you end up going to bed with him almost every night where each morning you climb back in bed with him to hug him, he does the same thing I described in that hypothetical situation above, where he then acts distant to you all day long. And sure, he was always busy writing his articles (he’s a journalist) on his laptop during the day but during those times when he had time to engage in any conversation with you, if you tried to engage him, he would seem to always find reason to leave the room for some other thing that just came up that he had to do. In short, he was avoiding you whenever posssible.

 

Then at one point you call him over to view a project you’re working on and to show him some things having to do with one of your favorite past-times and even though he does manage to stroll into the other room to see everything, he merely says, “that’s nice” where he then abruptly turns and goes back to his laptop. In short, he had ZERO interest in YOU and the kinds of things that interested you.

 

And then as the evening rolls around, you ask him if he wants to play cards or some boardgame just to spend some time with him and to get to know him better in real life as opposed to how he was on the internet but he declines your offer and instead chooses to watch tv in his room… alone.

 

So it then occurs to you that this guy is not interested in building a relationship of any sort with you and this includes even on a friendship level but is more like someone who is merely renting a room in your house or apartment… a roomer/roommate, a tenant of a living arrangment and nothing more.

 

But then at night he approaches you for sex again and you go along with it thinking maybe things were going to change. But they don’t and the same weird cycle repeats itself again… no breakfast with you the following morning… no meals together during the day (except once when he actually made dinner for both of you which was a nice gesture on his part but rest assured it turned out to be only a one time event.) -- in short, minimal sharing and togetherness outside of the sex part.

 

At any rate, for the first few days the only thing he will say to you, with regards to you and him is, “Let’s just wait and see where all this goes” but then on what you were to find out later was going to be the last night he was planning on staying there he says instead “I’m not interested in being in any relationship now”. And that’s when all of those red flags that were popping up all over the place since the moment he showed up at your door start flashing bright lights at you for not paying attention to them when you should have been doing that all along.

 

Then, after finding yourself alarmed and stressed with regards to what was really going on with this guy, you fortify yourself with a couple of glasses of vino as you muster up the courage to confront him that you think he might be USING you where you noticed that he most likely didn’t plan on staying there because his bags were still unpacked and so on… that he’s not being up front with you where you tell him to leave right then and there as he’s already leaving anyways but then you then break down in tears because you had fallen in love with him due to your contact with him on the net where you then profusely apologize for telling him to leave and that you didn’t mean it and so on …. But he says not a word and marches to his room and brings out his luggage and calls his friend to let him know he’s on his way to his house because “It’s not working out here”. But then after he ends that call he then takes you into his arms to console you where you then have sex again with him again leaving you thinking he really didn’t mean what he said and that he’s not really leaving. Where you then both watch a Green Acres rerun on tv and laugh the night away as if all was well and nothing had changed between you. But even though he decided not to leave that night, he DID leave the next morning.

 

So the following morning he walks out of his room fully dressed with his luggage where he said he’ll call later that day and then asked you if he can come back again just to give you the impression that ‘it’s not over between you two’ and that there‘s still hope. But just before he’s out the door you ask, “does your leaving here now have anything to do with my emotional outburst last night?“ -- and he says “Yes”, then he gives you a quick good-bye kiss like he’s off to work and off he went, happy as a lark on his way to his buddy’s house on the lake and many days of boating and fishing ahead of him. lol

 

It is only then that you realize that he set you up, as in framed, for that emotional outburst which gave him the opportunity to justify him calling his buddy to ask to move in with him and his wife instead. That by first moving in with you, he was showing his friend and mainly his friend’s wife that he had put some effort into making sure he had a place to live in town somewhere, my place, when he told them that he was moving back to your area. He did that because he didn’t want to impose on them by asking them for a room in their house which is where he really preferred to live. So he never meant to stay but a few days at your place right from the get go and acted in a very distant and aloof manner towards you so as to get you worked up enough about it to finally have you break down emotionally and confront him about everything. Never mind that you immediately apologized to him right after you had your little outburst because by then he finally had something to get on your case about -- to pin you down on to justify, in his mind, the reason why he was leaving you to stay with his friend. You had been framed from the get go by this guy and he had it all planned out right down to every projected emote where you played into his hand like a soft ball of playdo.

 

 

Then after not hearing from him for days, you see that he has ‘unfriended’ you on Facebook!

 

But then, to your complete befuddlement, lo and behold, 3 days later, he sends you a new Facebook ‘Friend’ request to add you to his friends list again!

 

Making it seem like he changed his mind and really did want to maintain some connection with you afterall.

 

But then when you view his FB page, you see that coincidentally, he also had ‘friended’ a very available local female acquaintance of both of yours a few minutes before he ’friended’ you again where it then is obvious that he wanted you to see that he added her to his list hence why he ‘Friended’ you again in the first place so you would be able to notice that.

 

To make you jealous perhaps? But why, pray tell, why??

 

But because you are completely in the dark as to why he was treating you so contemptuously, you accept his Facebook “Friend” request just to be able to then ‘unfriend’ him just like he did to you where you then also deactivate your Facebook account moments later anyway because you don’t want to be tempted to log onto his page again to see any more of his updates as it’s just too painful to do that.

 

But, ostensibly, the real situation was this…. you had just unwittingly entertained a Player who had no intention of staying at your place more than a few days anyway where his coming there was only his first stop before he was to activate the other part of his ’plan’ which was to move in with his best friend. He only came to your place first for the reason previously stated but him staying with you for a few days also gave him the opportunity to have sex with you by making hollow promises about your future together and then putting on the charade that he was actually moving in with you when he, in fact, was only doing that temporarily. In other words, he was lying to you right from the get-go about EVERYTHING.

 

Final Conclusions:

 

Am now kicking myself that I fell for his deceptive and appallingly insensitive tactics hook, line and sinker. However, I’m nevertheless intrigued why someone like this wanted to make me jealous by ‘re-friending’ me on Facebook just so I could see that he also friended that mutual acquaintance of ours just minutes before he ‘friended‘ me again.

 

Not that I want to have anything more to do with this guy but my question is, why would he even want to bother making me jealous in the first place?

 

Or did he do that just to let me know that it’s OVER between us by hoping to give me the impression that he’s now got a new love interest with no regard whatsoever about appearing even more callous than he’s already shown himself to be since he first came back into town?

 

Did he do that because he wants me to hate him so I will not write to him to tell him what a cad he is?

 

Or did he do it just for the sheer hell of it in order to hurt me even more than he already has? Is this guy a sociopath? It would seem so and that’s what scares me.

 

And yes, I know, I shouldn’t even be bothering my poor head with such inane pointless questions like these but let’s just say that I’m still trying to process all of this where it’s going to take more time for me to get back to myself again. I feel like I’ve been VIOLATED --- physically, emotionally and spiritually.

 

Amazingly enough, he and I are both well into our middle years yet here’s someone who’s still apparently playing the game, a game that I never knew he played before he ever came here, and here’s another one, yours truly, who should have been old and wise enough to catch on to what was really going on with this guy, this Player, who I unwittingly allowed to move in with me. So basically, it was like having a one night stand with the same Player, almost every night he was here!!

 

Oh well, if you’ve gotten this far in this sordid, sad, pitiful tale that I’ve been describing here that I’m still trying to process and have been for days now, you deserve a big star! I, however, am the one walking around with the word ‘STUPID’ stamped on me in big black stenciled letters as I‘m now feeling like I‘m ready to be shipped off to La La Land any day now…. lol. And let me tell you! It’s not a good place to be … not at all! [sNIFF]

Edited April 26, 2013 by Miss_Willowick