femme4 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 So I dated this guy for about three months - it was very intense and serious from the get go. He was very attentive and affectionate and made a lot of effort to let me know how much he liked me. We were spending a lot of time together and talking pretty much everyday. Then suddenly, out of the blue, he breaks up with me saying that things are just moving too fast for him and he's not ready for a serious relationship - which is completely the opposite of the way he was acting throughout the 3 months. So we ended things, and then a month later he got back into contact with me with small talk and so I took the step to initiate meeting for coffee. He suggested lunch or dinner instead, so we went to lunch. We had a great time catching up and I could tell he was still very clearly interested in me. I cut it short and he walked me home, and then 20 minutes later he texted me "so i wanted to say this, but chickened out. I'm sorry about the way things ended before. Chatting with you again was really fantastic." I responded saying that he was just being honest about how he felt and I'm not sure there's much more that needs to be said. His response was "Trust me, nothing is ever that simple." Which I asked him to clarify, and he said that the relationship he was in a couple years ago was 'abusive' and he hadn't dated since - which is why he had a hard time when things started getting serious between us. He didn't elaborate on how it was abusive, but I gather it was emotionally abusive and toxic overall - they were together for 10 years. We are planning to get together next week, and I'm wondering what advice anyone may have about how to comfort someone who was in an abusive relationship and ease their fears about getting involved with someone again. I really care about this guy and want to get back together with him, but I don't know how to approach it and I don't want to scare him away...
TheFriend Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I was in a toxic relationship for 9 months, I've been broken up 3ish months and still am terrified to give another girl my heart. He is honestly probably going to deal with that for a while. I cannot even imagine how bad I would be if i was in one for 10 years:(
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