FlyerFan54 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Hey All! I finally have an update from the novella I wrote at beginning of the week! Well, after three days of radio silence, I received a text on Wednesday. What I received though, was nothing which I expected at all. I knew she would reach out to me, but what I didn't know is how crazy she was going on the inside. I was leaving work when I looked down at my phone and saw she had sent me a text. All it said was "I don't want you to think I dont want to talk to you. I just don't know what direction we were moving in." Right away, a red flag raised. I could tell she had something to tell me and was clearly scared to do so. By reading that I could tell she was having doubts about where this was headed. To be honest, so did I. I wasn't sure what was going on between us. Although I would have liked to take her out on another date, there was no point in forcing it if we both weren't sure where this was headed. I waited over an hour before I replied. All I said was that I was glad she brought it up but to call me after she was done work, because we couldn't do this over text. I knew she was off work a little later, so I went to the gym. As I was finishing my workout and changing songs, what do you know...another text...a long one. I was a little frustrated she didn't call, but I understood how hard it probably was for her. All the text basically read was that she really has had a great getting to know me but didn't think we were on the same page. She said she had a lot of stuff going on and felt like she was leading me on, but she still wanted to get together with everyone and hang out sometime. She was trying to let me down easy. However, she didn't let me down at all. If anything, it was a breath of fresh air. A weight off my shoulders. After wondering for a while what was going on, I had my answer. There was closure. I finished my workout and went home. It took me over an hour to reply, but mainly because I had to figure how to explain this through text. I'm much better at articulating my thoughts through speaking rather than writing , but I digress. I told her I didn't feel led on at all, and that we are on the same page. I know she has a lot going on and that I'm perfectly comfortable with being friends, and now is not the right time to take anything further. I told her I've really enjoyed getting to know her and would definitely hang out with her again, and to not feel bad because all is well. I don't know if my reply shocked her or not, but she replied by saying: "I do feel bad. Can't you just be an a**hole? It would be easier." A few minutes later she followed up with a "Haha jk." I didn't say anything, so she sent another couple texts saying that she likes hanging out with me, that I'm a great guy, and thanked me for understanding. She also said she'd "love to be friends, which I guess is what we were before...so maybe it's not different? I just didn't know how you felt." I told her that I am not an a**hole, and that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way (if anything I'm too nice! Haha), and that nothing changes except we both now know where we stand. I know she's got a lot going on in her life, and it would be wrong of me to NOT understand. This is where the kicker came in, and made me realize I had done nothing wrong. She said "Everyone is busy, that's no excuse. I don't know when I'll be ready to be anything other than someone's friend..." Then she asked me if I was looking for something more than friendship, and said "You're such a sweet guy, trust me it's not that common." Flattered, I told her that "looking" isn't the right word, and I can't answer that. Everything is about timing, and right now just wasn't the time. I explained I let things evolve on their own, and that if you go looking for something, you'll never find what you truly want. She agreed that timing was everything, but never thought of letting things evolve, and it was really good advice. The topic about this weekend was brought up, and she said she likely wasn't going to go to the event because of financial reasons and may catch up with some friends. However, she said if it doesn't work out she will "definitely" let me know because we should get together. All I said was, "Ok. Keep me posted." There's a few reasons why I am posting this. First, I feel like I handled this really well. By being open and honest with her, I feel like it made things a lot better for the both of us. It seems as if there's potential for something more down the road, when she is ready. Is that a fair assesment, or am I looking at this the wrong way? Also, what goes on from here? We are clearly friends, but we've had a very physical relationship thus far. We've ha a few times, and always sleep in the same bed. Is this something that would continue into a FWB situation, or because of now we have agreed we are friends, would we not be physical anymore? I've never been in a situation like this...and I am trying to get some input. Thanks again for reading and providing your feedback. I really appreciate you reading and giving all the advice that you do.
BluEyeL Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 She seems to be sorry to let you go. You handled this well. We don't know what it'll be down the road, but I think you should still be friends with her while pursuing other love interests.
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