jkepler85 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 The past week or so, I'd been feeling great. I've been talking with a few gals that are put together, a marketing exec, a doctor. The doctor especially seems cool. Then last night, I just get slammed with feelings of my ex and the things I miss. I miss her dog and cat, because they loved me, always sooo excited to see me. I miss seeing her brothers and sisters and her friends. They loved me too. I miss having someone to talk to who was a night owl and I could talk with at 2am. I miss visiting her at work and surprising her. I miss her as a person, the sound of her voice, the touch of her skin, the way she'd drool on my shoulder when she slept sometimes. I miss watching and being excited about the same shows and movies. I miss picnics and the beach on a summer day and snuggling on cold winter days. I miss having someone who also felt like a loner and weird and different. Someone who shared her darkest secrets with me and who I would say anything and do anything in front of. I miss feeling her body against mine on the dance floor. I miss the weird little couples phrases, nicknames etc that we had. I miss her cackle when she was up to mischievous. I miss the smell of her lotion and body spray. I miss her crooked tooth, her witch nose and her slightly off kilter eyes. I also fully understand she wasn't perfect. She had major trust, co-dependence, and emotional openness issues. But I'm guilty of that as well. Sometimes her lack of motivation would drive me crazy. I just felt like they were things we could work through. The sweet, quirky, sometimes twisted personality just worked with mine. She wasn't perfect and I didn't feel like I had to be around her. Things were rocky the last year, no doubt. We would tell ourselves that we didn't ever want to get married or at least not soon, but at least for me I was lying to myself. I wanted a life with her, somedays I was sure of it, I would see her in a certain light and know I wanted to spent the rest of my life with her, other days it was more in the back of my mind. I would sometimes cry thinking about her, even when we were together, not because of anything that happened but just because someone like her, flaws and all, existed, it's hard to explain. I realize she must be been very confused/hurt/unhappy to break up and I'm not really mad about it, because I want her and me to be happy. I just wish we could have talked about it clearly. The space for reflection has been pretty good actually. Time for me and time to think, about what was happening at the end, meet new people. I know it's only been two months which pretty short after a 3 year relationship, but I guess I feel like my love is becoming stronger or that it was real and not just infatuation, which is not ideal being broken up. I know she thinks I'm a great guy. And I just don't know anymore. I don't want to lead myself on, but it seems like my sureness that what we had was pretty good has gotten stronger over the past few months. But at the same time I know I can't control it either, it's just gotta happen. I'm rambling now.
swiftly333 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I'm having a hard time, too..... I'm going through so many ups and downs. I'm pretty sure its normal, but I feel crazy, too!
ghsteo Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I'm with you man. We broke up last week and I did about 3 days of NC before she hit me up on facebook to see how I was doing and to see what our living arrangements are going to be. It's so confusing also since last week when we first broke up I posted on facebook "Going out on the town gonna tear it up!". Then she called me a little bit later crying and saying how she knows shes going to regret her decision. I asked her why she made the decision and she said its because she had a feeling and was taking advice from her friends. I told her my door isn't closed yet and that we should take a 1 month break so she can be on clear thoughts before she makes the decision. Then of course lately i've been getting the cold treatment. So ****ing confusing how she can be so sad about the breakup but then not show any further emotion.
Infnitysign Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I'm with you man. We broke up last week and I did about 3 days of NC before she hit me up on facebook to see how I was doing and to see what our living arrangements are going to be. It's so confusing also since last week when we first broke up I posted on facebook "Going out on the town gonna tear it up!". Then she called me a little bit later crying and saying how she knows shes going to regret her decision. I asked her why she made the decision and she said its because she had a feeling and was taking advice from her friends. I told her my door isn't closed yet and that we should take a 1 month break so she can be on clear thoughts before she makes the decision. Then of course lately i've been getting the cold treatment. So ****ing confusing how she can be so sad about the breakup but then not show any further emotion. Because you changed your attitude and accommodated to her needs. She just needs to know that she can have you whenever she wants and that makes her in charge.
dazednconfuse Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I agree with the comment about she knows she could have you and changes tone...I have seen that as well. The question is...what does he do if he wants her back? If he is cold then she will think he doesnt really love her (especially if they had issues showing affection) and if he is all accomadating then she may continue to be cold. So what does someone do? Be semi cold? 1
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