toc200 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Some of you may recall my story. Long story short: -ex broke up with me mid February. One part of me agreed, the other didn't. -ex hooked up with some guy a couple days later but got pissed that I made out with some girl shortly after. -Kept relatively NC other than unintentionally bumping into another at a bar. -1 month Post BU we hung out a couple times, and Im ashamed to admit, yes we hooked up twice. However I say with complete honesty that before, during and after (even now) the sex didn't mess with my head or rekindle any feelings that I didn't already have in one half of me. -After we hung out, she sent me some sappy texts saying she wants to be single, wants to not be in love but Im the most comfortable one with her. These messed with me for a while. -Early April she announced she was going back home to other side of country. This hit like a train. Might not ever see my first love ever again? -My friends from home came and visited me last week. I decided to go back home with them. -The ex and I have had no contact for a few days other than her liking some of my photos on instagram. So here I am, at home with family and friends. But I still feel so alone. Shes on the back of my mind. And losing her has rocked me to my foundation. I dont find enjoyment in my favourite sport like I used to. I quit my job, which wasnt the greatest job but it was in my kind of town. And with the girl, I could have had any job or been in any dull town and life would have been good. Now Im home and I left home for a reason. It is SO dull here. Im also finding it hard to find a job that could put me back in an area of the country where I want to live. I have a university diploma but all the jobs I want require experience. How do you get experience if you can't get the job because you lack experience?! So my predicament at rock bottom: I have no job, can't find a job I want. Im back in pretty much the worst part of the world IMO. I have some serious debt and to top it all off, I have lost my girl. I dont know where to turn to. If i could even have one of these things: job, location, girl, just to get the ball rolling I think I could pick myself up. Have any of you felt this hopeless. I dont see any light here. 1
Bioden Unig Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I hear you I feel like this right now. It's as if everything decides it'll come piling in at once.. Unfortunately I have no words of advice, although I wish I did. Talking about it often helps I guess, so carry on venting. Also, what kind of work are you looking for?
coltsfan1 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I have hit rock bottom as well. Its from here that you find out who YOU really are!!! Are you going to lay down and take it, or are you going to stand up and do something about your situation. I stayed down for about 3-6 months after my break up then I got pissed at the world and stood back up. Now close to 3 years since said break up I have an awesome job, nice car, bada$$ Harley, and a nice home. But it takes time, a drive to succeed, patience, and most importantly YOU HAVE TO WANT TO CRAWL BACK OUT!!!!! Your ex can rule/ruin your life or you can take it back. We have all been there so don't feel ashamed, but feel like its your life to build or burn. 1
Author toc200 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Thanks for responding guys. I studied within a marketing program. So I am hoping to get into sales/marketing. I also love to travel and have thought about just taking off somewhere. For some reason cruiselines seem to be calling my name. I can't go back to the last town that I loved so much because I have no close family or friends there to help me get through this. Im hoping just to be back here for only a short while to get over the girl if its even possible. But the idea of a lack of something out there better waiting for me depresses me even to start looking. Seems like theres such a mountain awaiting me. I keep thinking about her. Shes always on my mind. I keep thinking that she's probably way over me already. Like a weirdo I keep track of the time and since shes 2 hrs ahead of time I always wonder what shes up to. "Oh its 10pm here, so shes well into her night at 12 and probably thinking of me even less". I want this part of me that would jump on the next plane if she asked me to, to just leave. I want to move on. There are so many obstacles. So many highs and lows yet. A song can hype me up, a look at job requirements can bring me down. I need to catch a break..
Author toc200 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 So Ive been good keeping NC for the last week. My ex has liked some of my photos on instagram. She asked me what I was doing when she saw I was on a roadtrip. Last night I was with some of my friends at a birthday party. She text me late last night. it went like this: Her: hey where are you? I wish your were here. me: where are you? her: home. where are you. me: home. her: thats great! well have fun! me: you too. So I kept things short and simple. Didn't expand. But she keeps initiating contact randomly. Last night was the first time where I kept it short. Why is she doing this?
fiftyofsomethin Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Well, unfortunately, it's obvious she misses you, so if that was something you wished not to happen, it's blatantly obvious. And If we are gonna be really nitpicky here, you should not have put that smiley face at the end. Well, you shouldn't have responded at all, but if you must, you want to make it seem like you really don't want to talk to her at all. You don't want to give her the impression that she still has a little power over you or that she can always fall back on you if she needs it. Just a bit o' advice from you're pal Fiffty.
Author toc200 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 Thanks for the advice. I have such stupid feelings. Two different sides of me. One part of me wants no contact and the other likes the fact that she misses me. That we might still have a chance to get back together. Time heals all they say but when will the highs and lows subside. Thought I would have been past this 2 months post BU. I guess NC will help but I just gotta convince this little guy that its for the best. Stop waiting for late night texts. 1
fiftyofsomethin Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Thanks for the advice. I have such stupid feelings. Two different sides of me. One part of me wants no contact and the other likes the fact that she misses me. That we might still have a chance to get back together. Time heals all they say but when will the highs and lows subside. Thought I would have been past this 2 months post BU. I guess NC will help but I just gotta convince this little guy that its for the best. Stop waiting for late night texts. Dude, I'll tell you right now you have it really easy. At least your ex acknowledges that you still exist. My ex of one month completely ignores me when I see her and is happier than ever even though I did literally nothing to her and she just decided one day that we were to be broken up. Consider yourself lucky. And I don't mean that in a blunt way, I mean that to show you that you should count your blessings and that you never NEVER lose the power over her that you still have by continuing contact or by begging/pleading in any way.
i.am Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I can totally feel you, toc200. I'm feeling the same way. Although I have a job, I totally could not focus when I'm at work. Nothing interests me at all. So other than mopping around, I don't know what else I can do. Yes, time will heal. But somehow, the tortuous feelings is making us very impatient, hoping everything will be alright ASAP. Hang on, dude. I've no word of advice too as I'm not even able to stand up on my feet yet. Rant here. We'll keep each other accompanied. Guess that's the one thing we can do for sure. 1
Author toc200 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 Thanks guys. I woke up feeling pretty dismal today. I read an article on first loves in a psych magazine hoping to provide some light. All just says the same things we here from everyone lol. Now, if I can only wrap my mind around it. I really was tempted to text her this morning but knew it would be a mistake; yet somehow I think she got the hint from our last interaction. This scares me because that stupid little me likes receiving these damn messages. I haven't really dated anyone since BU. I did have one awkward breakfast date with a new girl immediately after BU and then I made out with one at the bar. Having said that, and I do not want to rebound or transfer feelings, I think the only way to get the little guy over the ex is to see someone new. Feel that little glimmer we do at the start. Anxiously awaiting texts, you know. What do you guys think of that?
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