nick01675 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Hi everyone, Im back again, was regular here reading other posts but today i feel like posting again after 2 months. Long story short.. was in relationship for more than 6 months, she dumped me, broke up like 3 months back and NC for more than 2 months now. Yesterday I happened to see my mutual friend, was avoiding everyone but unfortunately I met him we spoke for few mins I was curious to know whats happening to her, but didn't ask him, I don't why took her topic all of sudden and told he spoke to her a week back she is fine and she had gone to her home town and now she is back. I asked him if she enquired about me and he told no she didn't. I don't know why I was super low after that not because she didn't enquire about me it was because of the conversation we had about her. I was doing great ,regular to gym, was getting my confidence and self esteem high I used to think about her daily was wasn't getting depressed or getting angry (used to get once in 15 days or something but very rare) i used to miss her a lot.. But yesterday it was back to square one. I dreamt about her last night i feel even more worse i miss her so badly i don't wanna call her or text her (no ways i know what will happen if i do that.. learnt that in a hard way) . I don't want her back, i'm trying it let it go and forgive her. I accepted that she wont come into my life (though i dreamt about our reconciliation) trying as much as deviating my mind by doing other activities. I never thought I would hit depression again. Will it get better ? please help..
andre84 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 That would definitely hurt and I'm the same way about hoping for reconiliation. But I'll be honest, you were together for 6 months... all you need to do is get back to a good point and start dating again. Basically all you have is the honeymoon stage which is always amazing with the right people. I'm coming out of dating my best friend for 3 years who I lived with for 2 and moved accross country with... and now she lives a block from me in a city where I know like 2 people. I don't mean to tell you, your story is less important... I just think it helps put things into perspective. I have read the forums a lot and I read a lot of stories about 6+ year RS and those help me the most because I know that my situation is not as bad realistically. But obviously its all about perspective and you do deserve to grieve, but dont let it comsume you.
Author nick01675 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Thanks andre, I Know it was just 6 months. That's what all my friend are telling. People move on and are happy their life after a long term relationship and I'm still struggling when a 6 months relationship ended. TBH I loved her more than me, Loved her so much and became more dependent maybe because of that. Dating as of now I'm not ready. I'm more of a shy person. Even she stays just few blocks across and i'm scared to get out of my house!! I don't want her to bump into me I don't know how I would react.
andre84 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Well I think you should always love yourself first and then the other person. In some ways I'm guilty of the same but I know that its not healthy. If you are not ready to date then thats fine, start doing new activies that you like and enjoy and hopefully will make you a better person. If you are not dating because you are shy or scared, then take baby steps... start making new "friends" that might open doors to new women down the line. You need to occupy your time with as much as you can so that you limit how much you can think about this person. I'm actually trying to get to that point. obviously reading about other stories on this site has helped me a lot already. I hope the best for you.
Author nick01675 Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Im just worried.. Did i break NC???
Author nick01675 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Its getting harder. I'm in a state thinking its my fault(though its not mine ) coz im suffering a lot and she must be having a good time. I'm forcing myself to cry so I get some relief. I thought I was getting better but I'm not. I dont want to take antidepresants I just want this go naturally. I miss her a lot but dont feel like breaking NC, I know the after effects it would be worse. It was just a six month relationship( but we were good friends for about a year. ) I scared that I'm not coping. Just needed to vent.
andre84 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Well I'm right there too. Over the last few days I was starting to feel better and being optimistic... But tonight after watching a movie (This is 40) lol it kinda hit home in some ways. (I think we basically had some rough times like most relationships...but not enough love from her side to work through it) Anyways neither you are I should break NC... As much as I still care for this other person, she was clear does not have the same feelings for me. If she still loved me, we would still be together. Anyways, posting my feelings on the boards has helped me tons. Its just nice to be able to come clean with how I'm feeling... so I would say to keep doing that. And make sure you are taking up new activities to help you heal.
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