prettylights Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 (edited) I'll begin saying that this has been going on for almost 7 months now.And I've been trying to figure it out on my own, but it's really hard. So,I met this guy at a party.And we made out,but things were light.I didn't want anything from him.After that,for a week,he was the one who was texting me,and we went to another party togheter.Things we're going good,but after that he stopped texting,so I texted him.He was going through a complicated time,so I texted one more time,and I saw it was going nowhere,so I gave up.I was pretty upset. Then one week later,he asked me out.After that,things we re more than great.It was holiday,we talked almost everyday,he called me,we were going out,we spent the christmas togheter,and then we spent new year's.We had some issues then,but we figured them out.The day after,I was feeling down,I didn't know where I stand with him,and I didn't want to be like that anymore. So I kinda gave him an ultimatum,like,i think it's time to figure out where we are,cause I don't like this situation.I knew he had some really big personal problems,and that was an argument for him in saying that he doesn't want a relationship right now,he wants fun and "well..you know...we could;ve keep this like this some more..."So I ended it.After that,I heard about him that he had a family tragedy,so I sent him a text,saying I'm sorry,and he answered really nice. After that,one day we bumbed into each other when we were out,and he came right to me,and we stayed all night together.He said he needed me,and he's really happy to be with me&co.2 days later he texts me that thing are too complicated,he can't explain,and he;s sorry.And I couldn't help myself but try to talk to him,but it was pointless.I knew this was something,and I couldn't let go.Again,one day, we were at a party,and in the morning,the inevitable happened.He said he really cares about me.And we stayed togheter all morning(late morning actually). And after that,when we said goodbye,he kissed me.Then,boom,again, nothing.Not even a text,nothing.We see each other almost everyday,but it's just "hi".I know he meant it,but I can't do it anymore.I don't want to pressure this anymore,but I can't forget him,cause I really care about him too.I know he has a lot going on,but I don't know.I can't say he';s staying with me for SOMETHING(cause we didn't go there,it wasn;t about that).I really don't know which way to go. God,believe it or not,I tried to make it short. Edited April 26, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Poppy fields Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 You guys go to a lot of parties. He sounds too unstable for a relationship. Not sure what you are looking for here.
Author prettylights Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 don't know...guess I was looking for a way to go... but I think I need to figure that out on my own...
Author prettylights Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 yes,the name's after the band 1
cheww13 Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I've been seeing this guy who has alot going on his life too. but he always makes sure I'm around him..lol makes contact everyday and shows me he cares. and trust me, when I'm with this guy, he gets calls from his clients, courts, other business, just he literally has a lot things going on his life and very busy. so I know from my experience, and because I met guys who are not busy, yet lazy to make contact because they weren't that into me,, if a guy truely cares you, he lets you know he cares no matter how busy he is. I don't think your guy isn't that into you though.. if he was, he'd been pursueing you more and contact you more often. you guys been dealing this for 7 months. he should know now how he feels about you. are you sure he's not seeing anyone else beside u? if this guy is worth dealing all frustration youre having now, then wait. but if it bugs you alot, why don't you try to move on? and see how he works on you. I think if he really cares you like you care him, he'd make more effort.
Author prettylights Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 He suffers alot from what happened in his family, and he's trying really hard to stay strong, and he's really messed up. That I know.But yea, you're right, it's been a long time and he should've figured it out by now.He said that"you think if it wasn't this complicated i wouldn't have wanted to stay with you all night/day long?". Well, he's not dating, and he's not in a relationship, I can;t gurantee that he hadn't had some one night stands. That;s the thing, I've been trying to move on everytime, even if a part of me was still holding on, the thing is, everytime i try to move on, somehow, he's right in front of me. Changing the situation again, like, dropping words like'i really care about you". I don't know, maybe it's because of my feelings, but for me, he's worth it, the thing is, will all my efforts be worth it? Is this going to get solved? Yea, he's that kind of person, makes a step, then get scared and back off. But you're right, he should make more effort. and you're lucky, you have someone like that. I hope it;s going good,and I hope it lasts !and thank you for taking time to help me out:)
aisuru Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 You really need to define, for yourself, what you need or want in this relationship. Without saying anything to him. If you are not okay with how it's progressing, you will have to make the decision to allow it in it's current state or cut it off. Again, you don't have to say anything. Just pull yourself away from it. You're allowing him to make you feel less than 100% and to me, it sounds like he's just trying to keep you around on his terms. What are your terms? I went through something similar years ago and made a decision to not contact him for 30 days. Other than a couple calls that I didn't return, I decided not to speak with him again. It just wasn't what I felt I deserved and wanted. And I certainly wasn't going to try and chase it and pretend it was a true relationship.
Author prettylights Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 that's right,he's keeping me on his terms, only when he feels like he needs me.more like,everytime we meet at a party or when we're out. And I really feel like I don't deserve this,and he knows it. I think , more than caring, it's the attraction. Well, I'm sure you felt better when you finally got over him. That's something I should struggle for, letting this go. I don't contact him, like ever, cause even if he knows i care about him, I don't want to seem like i'm the one chasing him, even if i kinda am. surely i don't want to go on like this, it's been 2 weeks after our last real contact,for now I'm away for another 2 weeks, and when I get back, if he;s not going to do something about this, then I am. For now it's or the best, cause he's having an important exam,and he has that on his mind too, maybe after that, never know...but I don't want him controlling my moods like this anymore. Thank you for the respond!
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