Unlucky88 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I wondered if any one could help me because right now my mind is blank and I dont know how to handle my situation My story is...... Me and my partner have been together for a year. I have a son and daughter from a previous relationship there father has no contact with them might I add my daughter is disabled and my son has never met him as he walked out towards the end of my pregnancy. My current partner has been amazing with the kids and my son is calling him dad as he s the only constant male that's been in my life. My partner was very happy about this and wanted a child with me to be a complete family. Anyway a few months ago I had this gut feeling checked his phone and caught him sending pic of himself and receiving pics from this woman I believe it was only messages as she live far away. Confronted him he apologised was so upset said he'd never do it again. Well recently I started to notice white stains in his underwear on days that we have had no intercourse and any way he puts them on when he gets out of bed and bath as soon as he gets home one day I picked up his dirty clothes when he was in the bath and his underwear was still damp confronted him he denied anything and said he didn't no why they was like it since then this gut feeling hasn't stopped I have bit lip but started to get bitter. He usually calls me on his breaks at 10.30 and 1 well on wednesday he calls me at 10.30 for a chat then tells me he is going to the drs on lunch so he will call me about ten to 1. Alarm bells rang he never goes to the drs then checked the drs website and they close at 12.45 for lunch so I decided to spy on him and park in the car park around the corner from his work where I found him walking through the car park to a woman's car at that point I drove off as he was very close to where I was and didn't want to get caught. I got a phone call at 1.25 when he got back to his work and I asked how his drs went he told me all about his appointment When he came home that evening I kept quiet bit my lip he went upstairs got change came and sat in the lounge telling me all about his day acting all normal. When i went upstairs to the loo I noticed his trousers on the floor where he had got changed and inside them again was white stains! When I came down stairs I asked him how he got on at drs and he started telling me so when he finished I said to him that's funny I was in the car park and ur trousers upstairs explain it even more to which he flipped and told me to pack his stuff denying everything saying its all in my head. Just to add to all of this I am 8 weeks pregnant. He is still not living with me I haven't seen him but he as text loads saying its not what he wants he only wants me he hasn't done anything etc etc I've stayed strong replied to some but ignored a lot but I'm at a stage that I'm finding it even harder I'm losing my strength and miss him but I just don't no what to do all I do no is I want him to hurt like I am? When will it get easier ???
Poppy fields Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 So, he is still completely denying that he has cheated on you? Has he given you any explanations, or did he just pack up and leave?
Author Unlucky88 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Still denying it. He was angry clearly because he was caught out I packed his stuff and he went 20 mins after he left the text started saying how much he loves me and he hasn't been doing any thing. He is now telling me he loves me and really missing me and asking how I am. I don't no how to be do I just ignore him do I reply to the text?
MEJ76 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I am wishing you strength. Do you have others to turn to while you are dealing with this?
Spark1111 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I am wishing you strength also and support. You need to trust your instincts above all else. Neverletanyonetalk you out of them. Bottom line? he's been lying to you to meet some woman and becomes home with stains. Ask him her name. Donot reconcile until he stops lying, denying, and gas lighting you. if you do choose to meet him publicly for a chat, casually as him to handover his phone and his password. His response should tell you all you need to know. remember,people who have nothing to hide.....hide nothing. Is he aware of the pregnancy? That is information I personally would keep to myself until I have decided what path I want my future to take.
wifehurtheart Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I wondered if any one could help me because right now my mind is blank and I dont know how to handle my situation My story is...... Me and my partner have been together for a year. I have a son and daughter from a previous relationship there father has no contact with them might I add my daughter is disabled and my son has never met him as he walked out towards the end of my pregnancy. My current partner has been amazing with the kids and my son is calling him dad as he s the only constant male that's been in my life. My partner was very happy about this and wanted a child with me to be a complete family. Anyway a few months ago I had this gut feeling checked his phone and caught him sending pic of himself and receiving pics from this woman I believe it was only messages as she live far away. Confronted him he apologised was so upset said he'd never do it again. Well recently I started to notice white stains in his underwear on days that we have had no intercourse and any way he puts them on when he gets out of bed and bath as soon as he gets home one day I picked up his dirty clothes when he was in the bath and his underwear was still damp confronted him he denied anything and said he didn't no why they was like it since then this gut feeling hasn't stopped I have bit lip but started to get bitter. He usually calls me on his breaks at 10.30 and 1 well on wednesday he calls me at 10.30 for a chat then tells me he is going to the drs on lunch so he will call me about ten to 1. Alarm bells rang he never goes to the drs then checked the drs website and they close at 12.45 for lunch so I decided to spy on him and park in the car park around the corner from his work where I found him walking through the car park to a woman's car at that point I drove off as he was very close to where I was and didn't want to get caught. I got a phone call at 1.25 when he got back to his work and I asked how his drs went he told me all about his appointment When he came home that evening I kept quiet bit my lip he went upstairs got change came and sat in the lounge telling me all about his day acting all normal. When i went upstairs to the loo I noticed his trousers on the floor where he had got changed and inside them again was white stains! When I came down stairs I asked him how he got on at drs and he started telling me so when he finished I said to him that's funny I was in the car park and ur trousers upstairs explain it even more to which he flipped and told me to pack his stuff denying everything saying its all in my head. Just to add to all of this I am 8 weeks pregnant. He is still not living with me I haven't seen him but he as text loads saying its not what he wants he only wants me he hasn't done anything etc etc I've stayed strong replied to some but ignored a lot but I'm at a stage that I'm finding it even harder I'm losing my strength and miss him but I just don't no what to do all I do no is I want him to hurt like I am? When will it get easier ??? H-m-m-m....you saw what you saw in the parking lot but he's telling you he hasn't done anything and it's all in your head.....don't think so. I'm so sorry that you're in this spot right now.....please take care of yourself and your baby. As Spark said, his actions will tell you everything you need to know.
Darren Steez Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 (edited) Delete post Edited April 27, 2013 by Darren Steez delete post
BetrayedH Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 If you want to reconsider reconciling at all (which is up to you and I'm sure your pregnancy weigh heavily on you), you must first determine if he's truly remorseful. To that end, Frozensprouts suggestion about meeting in a public place and seeing if he comes completely clean is a good one. If he continues to lie, deny, and minimize then you have your answer. Spark is also right about asking for his phone. If he's not ready to be open, honest, and completely transparent then you have nothing to work with and you cannot make the relationship work doing it alone. Personally (and I rarely recommend this), I think you cut your losses. He's been busted trying to cheat on you before and is still denying this one and getting defensive when he clearly wasn't at the closed doctor's office but was with another woman. I think it was noble of you to try to forgive him after the first indiscretion but if you do it again, you'll no longer be a victim but a volunteer. I recommend you have no contact with him at all except as it pertains to co-parenting and child support. Detach from him; the romance in this relationship is over. I'm very sorry that you find yourself in this position. Cheaters suck and you're not alone. There's a lot of us here that have been betrayed and we're here for you. Reach out to friends and family, too.
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