DreamLost Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 (edited) I could really use some advice from you all... It all happened 9 years ago when I had to leave the country after I graduated (I was an oversea student). Me and my ex kind of agreed that I would go home and work a bit before going back but 8 months later she told me she was seeing someone else. I guess long distance relationship could be very draining and also she didn't see a future with me. Well, a good but very hurtful lesson for me. We lost contact from that point onwards but i still think about her from time to time. I tried to look up her facebook but I think she has blocked me and all these years I have always wondered if she was mad at me. Anyways, I recently had to go to the city where she lives for a conference and decided to pay her a visit and to put my doubts to rest. I dropped by her house but apparently she has already moved away. So now I have completely lost contact with her. My friends have told me repeatedly that it's time to move on but I really can't imagine myself letting all these good memories go - I know I should not keep any momento; I know I should abandon the hope of seeing her again; I know I should stop being stupid..but all these memories...they are a part of me and so I will be torn apart if I let these memories go... It has already been 9 years and I don't know if I can ever get over my ex. I don't know what to do... Edit: She's my first love and we have been together for 5 years Edited April 26, 2013 by DreamLost
swiftly333 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Keeping found memories of love and not being over some are not those same thing. You can still think fondly and have love for this person and still accept what has happened and move forward; that's what I suggest you work on. Perhaps therapy might help you learn to let go. This kind of stuff is really hard to do in your own. I was in 5 year relationship with a great man. But things weren't working and we parted ways. We still talk from time to time, I still have really great memories of our relationship, but I also had to accept it was over and have just had to come to live with that. I can admit a part of me well.always love him and care about him. It's not easy. But the best thing you can do is just accept that, wish he well, and let go of the things you can't hold onto anyways. Good luck.
Author DreamLost Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Thanks very much swiftly333. I think I have recovered mostly but sometimes I'd have dreams where we were still in love and this is just so hurtful. These dreams still haunt me to this very day and so I am actually kinda glad that I've lost contact with her - this could be closure for me in a sense. DreamLost
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