napy666 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I am 25, I was emailing and texting this guy age 26, and we talked about our careers and then music tastes and then he asks me since my writing career doesn't pay how do I make a living money-wise? I told him I lived at home with my parents and they sometimes give me money or I sell items on Ebay on and off. He then went to ask me if I was in school or drove. I told him neither and I straight out said "If your looking for a girl with a degree, a car, and lives on their own - I am not that girl". He replies with "guess not" and stops talking to me. Why are guys and girls materialistic? Why does it matter?
Weezy1973 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 It's just about shared values. In this case it sounds like those things mattered to him and they don't matter to you, so you're probably not a match.
outsidethebox Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 why would he care if you drove or lived at home? If relationship developed wouldn't you be living together? As to not making much money, that's something that's is sort of understandable he doesn't weant to deal with but shouldn't be. One time a girl I knew socially offered to move in with me and I immediately asked if she worked. She said no, she had a back problem and couldn't work. (The back problem wasn't visible in her posture, walk, etc.) I said I'd keep that in mind and didn't follow up on it because I just didn't make enough money to support someone else. I was struggling myself. Thinking back I should have tried to help her but it was instinctive that that was my first thought and reaction. Still it's pretty harsh the way he talked to you and if he's looking foi someone to split the bills primarily you're better off without him.
Author napy666 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Yeah your right. Another thing I've dealt with lately with dating is a lot of guys aren't willing to try long distance relationships.
outsidethebox Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I know there's a forum for this, but you mean like committed to you but LDR? Wouldn't that be hard to find someone to do that? Now just having a close connection LDR but not a "relationship" seems like it would be easier to find someone interested.
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Sound like he just wanted a grown up... 10
c57dood Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Not all are like that. I've been bitten by a several dogs in my life but you know what? I still love dogs!
Aerrie Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Yeah your right. Another thing I've dealt with lately with dating is a lot of guys aren't willing to try long distance relationships. Thats coz THEY DO NOT WORK.
USMCHokie Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I am 25, I was emailing and texting this guy age 26, and we talked about our careers and then music tastes and then he asks me since my writing career doesn't pay how do I make a living money-wise? If it doesn't pay and provide opportunity for advancement, then how is it a "career"...? I told him I lived at home with my parents and they sometimes give me money or I sell items on Ebay on and off. I think he is avoiding a situation where he becomes the one who gives you money... Food on the table + roof over the head =/= materialistic. 6
Emilia Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 He replies with "guess not" and stops talking to me. Why are guys and girls materialistic? Why does it matter? I think he wanted independent not materialistic. I was on the tube yesterday on my way to my gym and got stuck behind a group of people in their mid-20s talking about still living at home. They all had things done for them by their parents (especially their mother) but they considered themselves independent 'because they could come and go as they pleased'. I think their definition of independent is different from mine. 3
Treasa Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I think he wanted independent not materialistic. I was on the tube yesterday on my way to my gym and got stuck behind a group of people in their mid-20s talking about still living at home. They all had things done for them by their parents (especially their mother) but they considered themselves independent 'because they could come and go as they pleased'. I think their definition of independent is different from mine. Agreed. My definition of independent is "not living off someone else's dime." (a saying in the U.S.) 2
jennifer4 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 It really isn't being materialistic. Just being honest. At your age if you want to date it may be best to plan on moving out of your parents house. I talked to a guy on the phone that I met on POF, he tells me he doesn't have a car, would that be a problem? lol ummm. yes. I didn't join POF to be a taxi driver. So that was that. Your dating life will be almost non existent with your living arrangements I believe.
StanMusial Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 People need to get their life sorted before they try to date. Or keep facing difficulties and blaming the other party, whichever works best. 3
Drseussgrrl Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 People need to get their life sorted before they try to date. Or keep facing difficulties and blaming the other party, whichever works best. Since when is living on your own and having a car considered being "materialistic"?? Grow up already!
TigerCub Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Op, why can't you get a real job and work on your writing in your spare time?
Author napy666 Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Trust me I have been applying to places here and there but no call backs or a lot of the jobs are scams. And I don't see the harm in living at home at my age, a lot of young people do.
amaysngrace Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I don't think that's being materialist to want someone with ambition. Being a mooch isn't all that attractive to lots and lots of people.
carhill Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Why Are People Materialistic? At first we covet the nipple. Then we move on to other things. Part of the coveting of material things is nature/genetics/instinct. Part is socialization. Everyone is different. One way to look at it is that materialistic people provide regular working folk like myself with something to do to earn an income, even if my choice is to be non-materialistic. We're all in this life together. As far as dating and relationships are concerned, if there's synergy, there is. If not, not. Neither is required to adhere to the other person's path of living. It's a choice. 1
Treasa Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Have you tried retail and/or the food industry? I've never had a problem finding a retail job (ok, I haven't done retail since 1999) because they are always looking for people. Even though my current job is working as a professional in a very specific area, I'd be busting my ass getting ANY job if it came down to it. I wouldn't be too proud to be a cashier again if I needed the money. 1
Taramere Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 He replies with "guess not" and stops talking to me. Why are guys and girls materialistic? Why does it matter? One time I was on holiday on my own. I got adopted by this girl who was part of a group of wealthy types. They were going to a party. My new friend wanted me to come along. She took me aside and quietly asked "would you like to borrow a watch?" I said no, it was okay. I hardly ever wear a watch. She looked like she had ants in her pants. "I've got a Rolex I could lend you..." I was thinking eh? What's the necessity for me to wear a watch? Is this just a roundabout way for her to let me know that she has not just one but (at least) two expensive watches? I said again that it was okay, that I didn't want to borrow her watch in case I broke/lost it. She got even more tense, so I asked "is there some sort of a problem if I don't wear a watch?" Well, she explained. Some of the people at the party can be a bit funny. They're the sort who won't speak to you if you're not wearing a Rolex. Was she serious? Yes, she assured me, she was. I could see her eyeing my clothes too, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that if I was to attend this party I would need to be given a full makeover in order to fit in with this bunch of successful pyramid sellers, pushy estate agents and whatever other Rolex brandishers were going to be in attendance. I felt bad because the girl herself was nice but I explained to her that. I already had plans (to spend the evening in the free bar, wearing a cheap sundress, reading a book and feeling lonely but superior). In conclusion, people are materialistic because they're afraid that if they're not materialistic people will think they're like you or me.
tbf Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 napy, if you can't make a living and drive yourself around, who will be taking care of you? Isn't that a bit much to expect from a dating partner, to happily acquire a dependent?
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I don't know, I always worry that women will judge me because my only job is at a start up company and doesn't pay and that I live at home and share a room with my brother. Now, I do have my own money from when I did have a "real" job, and I do drive and have a car. I would never judge someone based on that though. But, I guess if I did have my own place and a job I'd prefer to date someone in a similar place in life. I am 25 as well OP. And too proud to take a job in retail. Preferably.
Recommended Posts