EmptyWalls Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Trying so hard to push forward and stay positive. Went out tonight for some drinks, just couldn't bring my self to have a good time. These past few months I've hardly even slept. Shes into this internet guy and will meet him soon the memory of our life together haunts me. The hopes and dreams I have for us keep shattering my heart. 7 years..... Shes going to meet him this month for the first time.... I keep picturing her in his arms, him kissing her, touching her... its driving me crazy. I worked out so hard today I threw up trying to release my anger of these pictures in my mind. As I law down at night I think of her, wondering if shes thinking of me (probably not). I want to hear her voice, feel her touch, smell her hair. I just want my life back. I miss her a lot and I wonder if shes knows that. She came by the other night and I stayed strong. I was nice and caring and short and sweet. All I wanted was to tell her how much I loved her and how much I miss her. That I don't even feel like going on without her. Maybe she thinks I'm fine now, no matter how much I tell my self I am. I cant hide my true feelings. Trying to keep this no contact but I just don't know if I can don't know if I want to. 1
DreamLost Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Trying so hard to push forward and stay positive. Went out tonight for some drinks, just couldn't bring my self to have a good time. These past few months I've hardly even slept. Shes into this internet guy and will meet him soon the memory of our life together haunts me. The hopes and dreams I have for us keep shattering my heart. 7 years..... Shes going to meet him this month for the first time.... I keep picturing her in his arms, him kissing her, touching her... its driving me crazy. I worked out so hard today I threw up trying to release my anger of these pictures in my mind. As I law down at night I think of her, wondering if shes thinking of me (probably not). I want to hear her voice, feel her touch, smell her hair. I just want my life back. I miss her a lot and I wonder if shes knows that. She came by the other night and I stayed strong. I was nice and caring and short and sweet. All I wanted was to tell her how much I loved her and how much I miss her. That I don't even feel like going on without her. Maybe she thinks I'm fine now, no matter how much I tell my self I am. I cant hide my true feelings. Trying to keep this no contact but I just don't know if I can don't know if I want to. Hi EmptyWalls, I was furious as well when my ex first told me that she was seeing someone. I had the same images of her being in this other guy's arms and it was just impossible to swallow. But truth be told, the first thing you must to is to curb your anger - anger clouds your judgement and before you know you will be doing stupid stuff that you will regret (like I did). So get these thoughts out of your head (keep yourself occupied) and let time does its magic. DreamLost
Coping Vortex Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Trying so hard to push forward and stay positive. Went out tonight for some drinks, just couldn't bring my self to have a good time. These past few months I've hardly even slept. Shes into this internet guy and will meet him soon the memory of our life together haunts me. The hopes and dreams I have for us keep shattering my heart. 7 years..... Shes going to meet him this month for the first time.... I keep picturing her in his arms, him kissing her, touching her... its driving me crazy. I worked out so hard today I threw up trying to release my anger of these pictures in my mind. As I law down at night I think of her, wondering if shes thinking of me (probably not). I want to hear her voice, feel her touch, smell her hair. I just want my life back. I miss her a lot and I wonder if shes knows that. She came by the other night and I stayed strong. I was nice and caring and short and sweet. All I wanted was to tell her how much I loved her and how much I miss her. That I don't even feel like going on without her. Maybe she thinks I'm fine now, no matter how much I tell my self I am. I cant hide my true feelings. Trying to keep this no contact but I just don't know if I can don't know if I want to. Wow I could have written the same post. Funny how typical all of this plays out like a script. 1
Author EmptyWalls Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Ouch! Just found out shes in a relationship, didnt take long at all. Here I am...... still beaten down. Calling him "boyfriend" wow, I gotta admit that crap hurts!!! Brought me to one knee, I shredded a tear then slowly got back up. This is like a bad dream you guys, somebody wake me up please!!
Bill in Tx Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Same Scenario here, Mine is complicated as well...2 year plus relationship and we are in our 40s..I break up with her in October, go 2 months ok, then she calls, and the bricks fall on me. I tried desperately to get her back in January. She was very angry and hurt, but also met and started dating the first guy off Match. It was as if we both got to break up with the other. I am usually very strong but it was a real paradigm shift in my life. However it gets better and in my case, the fears I had while dating her seemed to come true after the break up. She has a history of some bad decision making, (both financially and relationship wise, which always worried me under the surface. She moved to a bigger city to live with Mr. Match, still close enough though. Made huge changes in her life. The most concerning and troubling, is that she allowed or whatever her 13 year old son to go and live with his Dad. The boy has never lived with his dad. The boy has Turrets syndrome and ADD/ADHD, and while he is very difficult to be around he was basically a sweet kid. She always told me she would never give him up. (The Dad is not stable in any sort of way, and has made the exs life hell. He has never taken care of a child, and also believes he does not need medicine for his conditions) I believe she made this huge change to keep the boy from ruining her relationship with Mr. Match. After back and forth and all the usual. I went NC 9 weeks ago. It is the only way. It is the only way
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