Ed Thompson Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 For the purpose of privacy, I will not state what state or city I currently reside in. I will start off by stating that I am a senior in high school who is about to graduate in May. I turned nineteen in March. I will get to the point of the problem. There is a girl in my grade that I have liked now for three years. She is aware of this, yet does not feel the same. This has gone on now for three years. Every time I see her in the hall, she looks not only shocked but also repulsed to see me. I sent someone to ask her best friend why she feels this way, and the friend replied that; "It was not her place to say". This leaves me in the dark as to how I have insulted this girl. As far as I know the only thing I am "guilty of" is being attracted to her. Many have told me I should simply talk to this girl, however with the reaction the sight of me evokes, talking to her seems the worst thing I could do. You might ask me; “have you ever spoken to her yourself?” Yes, freshmen year. We were working on a project, in class and had to speak at that point. This was before she knew I liked her. However even then her responses were short and curt, and at one point I made a suggestion to another member of the group and she cut in saying; “Why don’t you ,be quiet?” This is all I can write for now, as I currently have other commitments to take care of. I will end by stating that I would never date or marry another girl. I would rather be single for the rest of my life. At the moment I don't have time to elaborate on the reasons, but can tell you she is the most attractive girl I have ever seen. She is also a very bright young lady who comes from a successful family and is very focused on her gradesThank you for your help. Any suggestions on how I can improve this situation are appreciated. Best.
coffeebean201 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 there is an old saying...... sex is only 2% of a marriage. but it is the first 2%. where is the other 98% of this relationship with this girl of your dreams? attraction is important. but there are other things that have to be balanced to really make a connection with someone you want to go steady with.
outsidethebox Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Not possible to improve it. She doesn't like you and the only thing she has ever said to you is "why don't you be quiet?". You're young. You'll meet someone in college and forget all about her. Best thing to do is just stay quiet around her. Smile and move on. Fortunately graduation is soon. Best to you.
Author Ed Thompson Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Not possible to improve it. She doesn't like you and the only thing she has ever said to you is "why don't you be quiet?". You're young. You'll meet someone in college and forget all about her. Best thing to do is just stay quiet around her. Smile and move on. Fortunately graduation is soon. Best to you. I would never consider anyone else. That is why I am asking for advice, as to how I can change this situation for the better.
outsidethebox Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Like I said, you're young and I don't expect that you'll listen. 1
PogoStick Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 It will be better once she moves away for college and you start being realistic.
jakelongot Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Your question reminds me of an Isaac Newton quote: 'I don't know what I may seem to the world, but as to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.' It is hard to wrap your brain around this while you are living it in the moment, but high school is such a small part of your life and 3 years is nothing...just a blink of an eye. If you want to do something about this situation go ahead and approach her, because no one else is going to care or remember in another 6 months, especially with everyone going off to college. But either way, don't worry about it. You are in a small fishbowl right now, but you will soon discover the great ocean of truth out there once you leave for college and beyond. This girl will be a distant memory soon. 1
normal person Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I would never consider anyone else. That is why I am asking for advice, as to how I can change this situation for the better. Then you might as well stop shaving and get comfy in those sweatpants, because it sounds like you're going to be single for a while. This girl clearly dislikes you for whatever reason. As of now, any attempt by you to rectify it is likely just to make it worse. The only thing you can do is to act like it doesn't bother you and move on. Cut your losses, this thing isn't happening for you. I know you're in high school and you think you know everything (we've all been there), but believe me, some day you'll think about this and laugh about how absolutely clueless you were. It's a funny part of growing up, although it might sting a little right now. Best of luck to you.
Author Ed Thompson Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Then you might as well stop shaving and get comfy in those sweatpants, because it sounds like you're going to be single for a while. This girl clearly dislikes you for whatever reason. As of now, any attempt by you to rectify it is likely just to make it worse. The only thing you can do is to act like it doesn't bother you and move on. Cut your losses, this thing isn't happening for you. I know you're in high school and you think you know everything (we've all been there), but believe me, some day you'll think about this and laugh about how absolutely clueless you were. It's a funny part of growing up, although it might sting a little right now. Best of luck to you. Wha you have said here makes some sense; however it does not provide me with the answer I seek. Does anyone have advice as to how I can achieve my goal of a relationship with this girl? If so please post. Thanks.
outsidethebox Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 No, no one has advice for how to make a girl that hates you like you. The only direction you have to go from here is stalker and creeper. Your choice. You should focus on college and forget your childhood crush.
Jbum5 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Ed, your optimism is admirable but we have to get real here: you seem to place an emphasis on her attractiveness, but the bottom line is she may not be attracted to you. Or maybe her priority isn't finding a relationship right now. Perhaps grow some thicker skin and attempt to converse and befriend her to see where it leads. But really, there is no secret formula that will allow you success with a person of interest who doesn't feel the same way.
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 Hey. I know you dont want to hear this, BUT the only way you will make any headway on this is if you communicate with her yourself. If you cant even speak to her, how the hell would you be in a relationship with her if you even had the chance? Sending your friends to speak to her or her friends is not a manly thing for you to do. You look like a chump and a child. BUT, you are. I would think by 19, you could at least talk to her yourself without making crappy excuses. That is the answer to your question. I dont know how to give you advice on how to attract a girl who really could care less if you were alive. It sounds horrible, but she is rude, mean and doesnt want to have anything to do with you. I wont ask why this is attractive, but you find her beautiful so she must be "the one." You are gonna make one great doormat one day. All it takes is a pretty girl. Oy!
xpaperxcutx Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 (edited) I remember in 5th grade I made it known I liked a guy, and the object of my affection for the rest of the year ended up hating me and avoiding me as much as possible. It was both humiliating and unfortunate ( for me) as we were in the same class together. If someone hates you, the best thing you can do is avoid them as much as possible and continue to live with your life. That amount of hate is negative for you and as much as you might want to mend fences, it's just not possible. For one, High school is a cliquish social heir-achy. You're either socially popular or an outcast. Maybe I'm portraying stereotypes but if you are friendly and have a good decent amount of friends, please by all means, try to avoid any girls who might be catty. High school schools are all a phase and eventually when you get to college, that's when really reality and the rest of your life begins. Stick to social clubs and getting good grades. Your career and future are more important. PS. I wish I had the knowledge I had now back then. Edited April 27, 2013 by xpaperxcutx 1
Author Ed Thompson Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Thank you to everyone for the replies so far! Best.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 What more to add? You must be brave and go and speak to her. Maybe her disgust is at this cowardice(not an insult), way of you showing some interest. Although...to me it seems hopeless. But you want advice. First step is to talk to her. Nothing big. Just a hey, how are you. You'll gauge more off her tone of voice to you..then any look. Women like confidence. Show it. Speak to her. Get over this fantasy. Be a man. Even if she doesn't like you...she'll respect the confidence.
Author Ed Thompson Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 Does anyone have anything else to add? If so please post! Thanks
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