SadAndLonely Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 I just posted last night: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t48122/ My ex just called an hour ago. We talked for 45 minutes, just about Star Wars (he's a huge fan) and a new roleplaying game we're both going to be doing together. He had said on Saturday night that he wouldn't be giving me a call until Thursday, but then called tonight. Is this a good sign? Of course, nothing about "us" was mentioned at all, so it's possible that he's just trying to be friends and that's it. I have no idea anymore. *sigh* I DID remain as upbeat and happy as possible, and didn't talk about the relationship at all. I'm so confused.
Author SadAndLonely Posted September 21, 2004 Author Posted September 21, 2004 Anyone, please? I've never gotten more than one or two responses to any of my posts, and I'm really lost.
toffee Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 what are you confused about? i believe the fact that he called you a couple days early is a sign he misses you and wanted to talk to you. you did talk 30 minutes. it isn't necessary to always talk about the relationship. but, what do you want? what are your expectations? when you're clear on what you want, you can communicate this to him. you'll feel better and he will appreciate your honesty. blessings!
Breathe Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 So you two mainly broke up because "he needed time"? If so, then if you love/care for him and want him to be happy then allow him his "time". Go on with you life and stay busy and do things for yourself. He's calling you still, so this is a good sign. You confused, he's probably confused as well. Things will fall in place in time. Just be patient. Don't push things as you could push him further away.
YellowLioness Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 to leave the relationship out of any conversation until he brings it up. I don't know if you two were sexual, but I wouldn't have sex with him until you know for sure how he feels. Sex tends to screw (ha ha, I'm so witty) things up. Other then that, you seem like you are doing fine. Just don't get your hopes up, and enjoy being single. Why don't you go on a date with another guy? It doesn't have to be a serious date. It could just be out for pizza, or you could have a "group date," those are usually fun. I'm not suggesting that you rebound, but sometimes these little dates are good for affirming in your mind that your ex is not the only fish in the sea.
netrie Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 Originally posted by SadAndLonely I just posted last night: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t48122/ My ex just called an hour ago. We talked for 45 minutes, just about Star Wars (he's a huge fan) and a new roleplaying game we're both going to be doing together. He had said on Saturday night that he wouldn't be giving me a call until Thursday, but then called tonight. Is this a good sign? Of course, nothing about "us" was mentioned at all, so it's possible that he's just trying to be friends and that's it. I have no idea anymore. *sigh* I DID remain as upbeat and happy as possible, and didn't talk about the relationship at all. I'm so confused. Hi, SAL (sadandlonely) Its never easy---relationships. However, its not impossible either. It takes a bit of work at times but let me ask you, Is he worth it to you---ups and downs? If so, give him some time to come around and feel comfortable at his own pace... Yes. It is very good that he called you. Just do not call him. Let him come around. Your situation is very fragile and I sense he has the "upper hand" after viewing your postings. But I must say you are doing such a great job keeping yourself together, upbeat as you stated in your last posting or yesterdays. Not that your ex bf used this word, but I must say that I do have a problem with any ex bf that says the word, "friend." If he says that to you---run! Usually after being sexual with a man and feeling loving towards each other (and I sense you are IN LOVE with this man)---I find it insulting if a man says that. I have NEVER gone there and genuinely so. I might start out "saying" or "agreeing" to it, but in essence, I LOSE all respect for an ex bf at a certain point after the relationship dies out. A friend is someone we can go to and tell anything to, and be ourselves. After the breakup it becomes more like "strangers." You seem so open to being just friends with him it sounds like, but I don't believe you are OK with it. Take care of yourself; exercise, get a facial, pamper yourself and be as feminine as you can be in front of him. Its not manipulation----its facts, but I won't get into the male/female thing now! LOL... What do you think? Netalia
findinmyway Posted September 21, 2004 Posted September 21, 2004 I think it's a good sign that he called you. And, even better that you handled it like you did. Don't be too cocky, but keep up what you're doing. Let him initiate most conversations....you can call occasionally. If you do hint towards anything about you and him, do it in flirty way....so you can guage his reaction. Outside of the games and NC rules, yaddy yaddy yaddy.....just let things happen. Don't push anything and take things one call at a time.
Panther Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I would agree. Keep it slow, but make sure you are gettign what you want out of the relationship. I tried to be "just friends" and it bit me in the ass. Sometimes you can be friends, but it usually takes time. be carefull. Make sure he isn't using you as an emotional crutch until he gets stronger. My prayers are with you!
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