mortensorchid Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 In the last few months I have been refraining from even attempting to do anything in the love and romance department. In general I am happy enough. Financially things are bad but I have a lot to be happy about - I have my friends, many things in which I am involved in which I enjoy, my family, just about everything one could possibly ask for. Of that I have no complaints (other than the fact that I am looking for a job and not having too much luck). I have put all things related to my finding love and romance aside for two reasons : 1) very busy and 2) I have just given up. Now I have lots of free time and I'm adrift, because my busy time is over with. I am considering trying online dating again but I am asking myself why. It just seems so pointless. Let's be honest, since I discovered this forum it seems like it has been an endless stream of sharing entertaining stories about what freaks and losers there are out there, and not just for me but others whose similar stories I read. I wonder sometimes if those you meet online would act the same way as they would with others should they meet otherwise, if so I am truly afraid (I'm sure many of you know what I am talking about). Everyone has said the same thing to me : "It happens when you least expect it", or "When you meet The One, you will just know." But the waiting and looking is frustrating. So should I even attempt the online world once again? I have learned a lot from it, at this point I am seasoned and know what to expect after so many years. But I'm tired of being disappointed in it. Any thoughts or suggestions? It's sort of a pity rant here, but I was wondering.
Keenly Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 In the last few months I have been refraining from even attempting to do anything in the love and romance department. In general I am happy enough. Financially things are bad but I have a lot to be happy about - I have my friends, many things in which I am involved in which I enjoy, my family, just about everything one could possibly ask for. Of that I have no complaints (other than the fact that I am looking for a job and not having too much luck). I have put all things related to my finding love and romance aside for two reasons : 1) very busy and 2) I have just given up. Now I have lots of free time and I'm adrift, because my busy time is over with. I am considering trying online dating again but I am asking myself why. It just seems so pointless. Let's be honest, since I discovered this forum it seems like it has been an endless stream of sharing entertaining stories about what freaks and losers there are out there, and not just for me but others whose similar stories I read. I wonder sometimes if those you meet online would act the same way as they would with others should they meet otherwise, if so I am truly afraid (I'm sure many of you know what I am talking about). Everyone has said the same thing to me : "It happens when you least expect it", or "When you meet The One, you will just know." But the waiting and looking is frustrating. So should I even attempt the online world once again? I have learned a lot from it, at this point I am seasoned and know what to expect after so many years. But I'm tired of being disappointed in it. Any thoughts or suggestions? It's sort of a pity rant here, but I was wondering. While I can't say whether or you should try, I can say that I'm right there with you. I gave up on both online and real life attempts. Its been about two months or so but I'm just so tired of being alone. I try , it doesn't work. I don't try, it doesn't work. I go online, send a billion messages , get four replies, all of which are not conversations, because it would seem people on online dating sites don't understand what a conversation actually is. The 3 girls I have ever actually started talking to are not women I am attracted to. So what the hell are we supposed to do ? Just sit back and accept not having some one in a permanent setting ? 1
backinthedatinggame Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I think it worth the try - though I would recommend going with a paid site. Sure the sites, even the paid ones, have weird people, people looking for just sex, etc. But won't you find that everywhere? When I was using the site, I kept the attitude that just because I was going on a date with someone from there didn't mean we were dating. We were just meeting to see if we enjoyed each other's company to get to know each other more and to see if there was an attraction. Did I meet a lot of people who I didn't want to date? Yes. Does that mean it was not worth my time? No. Where else would you have the opportunity to meet so many people outside of your friends and family circle? Did I gain some very interesting stories from my experience? Sure thing! In the end, did I meet someone I wanted to actually date? Yep. Will you meet that person from an online dating site? Maybe. And, if you happen to meet the person someplace else, then the dating experiences from online at least helped shape your dating knowledge!
Author mortensorchid Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 More on this why I am considering this, and it's bad I will admit, but I cannot be the first who is thinking just such a thing ... My last bf (from about a year ago) was another example of my lousy luck with men in the recent past. He broke it off in March 12 because according to him "every woman he's ever been with has broken it off because of his bad behavior and he wasn't going to let that happen again." I thought that was a real loser thing of him to say. A few months later, he had another gf. He was with me for six months, he was with her for six weeks and moved in with her. As far as I know they are still living together. He was looking to move out of his mom's house and I wasn't budging one inch towards it (not that I was ever asked to do so). Clearly, he was looking for his Mommy to take care of him. Intellectually I realize this is the case, I can do better than him if that's what he wants out of a woman, and his life is going to be nothing but one mistake after another if he keeps this pattern up. Part of me wants to try again because I miss not having someone, but I am also not going to jump into the next thing just because I am so eager to have someone in my life either. I've seen many who did just that and they are paying the price for it. I'm just lonely, angry at myself and others for being the way they are. I feel like I can be replaced so easily with some other gal, it doesn't even matter who she is/was. What can I say but from said behavior that guys would rather have trashy women who are going to take care of them rather than a real woman? It's been proven to me so many times, and the online world is no exception to this it's just a different medium.
outsidethebox Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I'm sorry to hear about the financial thing. When we guys are in that situation we can't even consider dating so you have that going for you. I'd be absolutely stunned to hear you found a guy that you were happy with but hope for you that to be the case. The alternatives to OLD are pretty bleak, as bleak as that is. You could say I'm not doing that (lots say it here I guess) but you're left with what you have which made you consider it. And we wouldn't have those stories from you and you'd be letting us down. So you have to consider that too. All in all what can it hurt? I'm thinking you're going to be disappointed either way.
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