Capri2011 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I been with my boyfriend for 15 years. I am turning 30 this year. We have 2 children together. The thing is Im so lonely. We dont do anything with eachother but argue. He's so disrespectful to me. He calls me all types of names in front of my kids and whoever is within earshot. My self esteem is at an all time low because of this. He tells me I should show him love and affection despite the disrespect he shows me but I dont know how to do so. I hate having sex or any type of intimacy with him. He just bullies me until I feel sad and I give in. I feel like why do I have to show him love in spite of his ill behavior towards me. To make matter worst hes a cheater. He was with one girl for 3 years. He tells me I should trust him now even though he has never really done anything to earn my trust. I just feel so beat up and broken down. I want to know for the first time what it feels like to be in a loving relationship where Im not abused emotionally financially and physically. My question is am I wrong for knowing all these facts about him being unhappy and not leaving immediately? One of the reasons I stay is we both share an apt and he refuses to leave. I been looking for a job but havent had any luck. Any advice
DayJ Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 You do not need to go anywhere you stay right there in that apartment, you have 2 kids and you do not need to be struggling specially with no job. Secondly, STAND UP for yourself dont let this jerk bully you! I know it is hard but you know what screw him, sit him down and say" I need you to be quiet and just LISTEN, i dont want to hear it i dont want you to talk i just want you to listen!" Break up with him who cares if your living together, tell him that you are not going anywhere because you have 2 children to look out for and it just does not work that way, he needs to leave it is not going to work out anymore but that he needs to leave. If he refuses then stay but leave it as a roommate agreement of sort. Make it clear that it is over what he does is his problem and just as what you do is your business. No sex no nothing no cooking no cleaning up after him it is over! You look after your kids you take care of them clean up after your kids and cook for them etc but only YOU and your kids. Stay strong and try your best to find a job and just move out so you will have your freedom and happiness otherwise he knows he has you in the palm of his hand and will always be like this if you have been together for that long and he has not change he WILL NEVER change. If he claims something, dont talk to him ignore him and when he disrespects you again in front of your kids you need to put a stop to it! Tell him HEY! what is between you and me is between you and me, you have something to say you need to tell me and we will talk elsewere there is no need for our kids to be present or something of that sort. Please stand up for yourself dont be scared to ever, do not ever let any man or any one treat you bad EVER you have the right to stand your ground and let yourself be respected. Be strong! you had two kids and that to me is as brave as it can be! You are a brave woman, stand up for yourself, about your self esteem i know this sounds dumb but just try it, look at your self in the mirror every single day in the morning and before bed when you go to sleep and everyday point out one thing about you that you find beautiful, whether your hair etc, one thing everyday and tell yourself how beautiful you are no matter what anybody else says! And work on your self esteem. Do not share a bed with this mad or anything make it clear it is just a roommate, that your relationship is over. Be strong! 1
Recommended Posts