She Wants Another Chance :/

[Hurt21]

Hey All!

 

So I've posted on this forum a couple times about my relationship that lasted about 3 years which ended about 7 months ago now. To make a long story short I was essentially left for someone else. (She denies that to this day).

 

Anyway, I went NC for over three months in which she tried to contact me and I ignored her. Well a couple days ago I sent her an email saying I hoped she was doing well. I did it simply because I missed her. Sad I know. Anyway, she responded back saying basically the same thing but also stated she had heard from mutual friends that I had said bad things about her. This angered me, so I called! We got to talking and I basically cleared my name as I have not spoken a word about her to anyone. She then told me that she was no longer with the person she left me for and had been hurt pretty bad.

 

At that point in the conversation we had been talking for hours. She got really emotional and started with all these apologies about hurting me and how stupid she felt about giving up on me. She apologized repeatedly. Sounded genuine enough I guess. For months, this is what I wanted....for her to apologize and I guess "see the light". But at the same time, I feel pretty low becuase I can't help but think she is only feeling this way because things went south in her new relationship.

 

We have been talking for the last couple of days and she wants another chance. She stated she wanted us to work on getting back to where we were. She is still apologizing.

 

You know what I feel: like 2nd best, like a back-up plan now. I hate that feeling. She tells me over and over that I'm not, but I feel that.

 

Rationally, I know I should tell her to f*** off. But I do really still love this girl, alot. My head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me another. I guess I'm torn. Even if I were to decide to give us another chance, I can't fathom how I would be able to trust her again. I don't know how to put this behind me and just be with her. This will always stay in the back of mind. Can you truly just be with someone when you're struggling to accept a decision they made?

 

I just don't know. I really don't. Any advice would be appreciated.

 

Could/Would any of you take someone back who left for someone else? I use to think heck no myself to that question. However, when you're in the situation and feelings are involved, it isn't so easy to say heck no.

[barky2]

Hey man thanks for sharing your story.

 

Like you I heard those same words...only mine was at 8 months...and I wasn't nc for 3 months more like 1..lol so congrats on that.

 

If your not ready to put it behind you then you need more time.

 

You should tell her you need time for yourself to get your head straight.

 

If she doesnt understand she's selfish.

 

Granted she's already shown you this.

 

How do you get it out of your head?

 

Time.

 

Time.

 

Time.

 

That's going to be the only way.

 

You kind of need validation from her that your #1 and not #2.

 

There's only one problem with that.

 

You and only you can do that.

 

If I was you, id ask for a week of nc from her so you can really think this over before you jump back in premature and your head spins 100x more than it is.

 

If she doesn't agree to it, than you have your answer.

 

If she understands than maybe she has learned her lesson and truly wants to be with you.

 

All the best...keep up updated.

[217sportcompacts]

this is very difficult, im in the same spot aswell. we were together for almost 2 years and she left me for some pathetic douchbag. its been 1.5m since the break up and i do want her back, but she better be willing to go to hell and back to be with me, which i NEVER see her doing but even if we did get back together it was always be in the back of my mind. take some time and think about it man, either you were meant to be together forever...or there is someone else better out there that wont leave you for someone else!!!

[DavidSoBased]

its been 1.5m since the break up and i do want her back,

 

Thought you mean 1.5 minutes.. I was like what the heck? But you meant 1 and a half months lol.

[swiftly333]

Gosh, this hits close to home. I was trying to reconcile with my ex, right maybe we could because he b said b he had feelings, wanted to b take baby steps... blah blah blah blah blah

 

Come to find out this whole time he's been seeing someone else. I'm with you, I refuse to accept being second best, plan B.....but that's so hard for me because I don't want to let this go!

 

I thinks you ex still sounds too n emotional and its to soon. I think you're right it could be possible that she hung through a lot because she's grieving 2 breakups now. I think to oh both need time before anyone does anything.