IS IT Better late Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 So Last night after the gym I was in a really good mood, not really thinking about her all too much. Went to bed and then bam... she's right back on my mind first thing this morning and every morning! I start replaying all the fun we had, the stuff we talked about, sexual related things. I start every day out angry at what I lost. Before I met this chick I used to wake up happy most mornings. Now I have to talk myself into being happy. And it carry's on until my mood improves later in the day. Any advice or solutions? I'm tired of thinking about this girl every single morning. I want to wake up happy again!!
iouaname Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Mornings are the worst for me, too I wake up with an awful pit in my stomach and a shaky, anxious feeling. I make sure to get out of bed and at least move to the couch and jump on the computer to vent some frustration here or to watch something that relaxes me. It's tough though, I think the best thing though is just doing something, anything. 1
OwlSoul Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Solution 1. Bro, I know your pain. The best way to have good mood whole day = wake up at 6 or 5:30 am and go jog for an hour. Solution 2. Also, imagining you're with someone much sexier and better while she's staring at you guys helps a lot. Do not ever replay stuff u guys had in your mind. Solution 3. I'm a quite a gamer, so playing games in some MMO helps a lot as well. Like grinding your character and spoiling your hate.
youngnlove89 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I woke up after a horrible dream that my ex slept with someone else. I woke up exhausted, p.ssed and frustrated. I was falling asleep in the shower. Dropping things all morning. Hitting every red light. Crying in the car. I was a mess. It's safe to say Mornings Suck.
TheFriend Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 How far our are you time wise from the breakup? I had the EXACT same routine. Gym at night, would feel awesome, then boom!!! Wake up sick and miserable. As pathetic as it sounds... What really helps is writing about everything and letting the tears roll while you do. Once you write about how you feel what you remember, rip up the paper and flush or burn it. It will help so much.
ViciousCycle Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I too have horrible mornings. Today's was actually okay for the first time in a while. I exercise every other night and feel great. Then I wake up and it's like I remember that i've lost something and it's not coming back. I think I felt okay today because I am becoming more in touch with the idea that I don't want her back.
OwlSoul Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Therapists say that yeah, it's really needed to vent your feeling first weeks from the break-up. But come on, after the third week you have to start getting your life back. Otherwise it will become your comfortable routine to suffer. This is why some people say 'the pain is a drug'
Author IS IT Better late Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 OwlSoul I like your #2. Don't understand your #3? lol The Friend it's been a little over 2 months. Good advice! It just seems like our brains make this whole process harder. I get to the point where I'm feeling pretty good by the end of the day and then I have to start this battle all over the next day. And the sexual stuff in the AM drives me nuts! So vivid! Ugh.. And I'm prob make it worse on myself b/c I'v BSing myself too. I still want to see her again and haven't gone complete NC.
andre84 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I'm on the same boat (my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/388840-sharing-my-story ) We lived together for a few years and now she lives only a block from me. I woke up this morning super depressed and just wanting her to be next to me. As a guy I have done a lot crying the last few days that I never thought possible. The crying has somewhat stopped now (A few times a day I will get teary when I think about the good times) but now I am left with a HUGE emptiness inside. I think one of the biggest killers is that she just realized that she didnt love me the same way I did and she actually did the right thing for us.. There was no cheating/big terrible fight (we did have some last year) or anything else major. Now at age 28 where I thought I was steps away from marriage and starting a family, I'm back to square one. I am hoping that by next week I can start working out again (I cant concentrate right now, nor do i have the energy). I have lost a lot of weight in about 5 days because I eat about 700 calories a day. (I have lost a lot of muscle and I'm super skinny right now) Anyways in a way its good to know that I'm not alone and that a lot of people go through this all the time. Hope that it gets better for all of us soon.
itto ogami Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Crying is a healthy release -- as long as you don't keep doing it into weeks. Let it out. Just four weeks ago, I couldn't believe I'd find myself actually crumpled on the floor weeping over the woman who lied, cheated and disrespected me. Four weeks later and no tears for the past three weeks. There's still pain -- and worse, my ex works right down the street, which makes it harder for sure. But now I'm getting my life and composure -- and OPTIMISM back, which are all good signs. Of course, I've been in total NO CONTACT mode since the last time I saw her and she has indeed kept contacting me (NC works friends). It's hard, but release your grief so you can replace it with happiness. It will happen, and you will be amazed when it does.
LoveB86 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 It's been 3 weeks for me. Am slowly getting used to being myself again. Am working out and focusing on looking amazing. Did a bit of retail therapy. He always seem to be on my mind all day even when I am doing something fun. Oh well... LS venting helps for me. Haven't cried.. just sadness. I am finding every bit of reason to smile whether it's asking someone how their day is or just to say hello. Cannot wait to put this behind me. It's even more hard because he is in the arms of another woman and I know of this person.
GB25 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Therapists say that yeah, it's really needed to vent your feeling first weeks from the break-up. But come on, after the third week you have to start getting your life back. Otherwise it will become your comfortable routine to suffer. This is why some people say 'the pain is a drug' Owl is correct, if you get to comfortable in suffering and wallowing the pain does become one with you and when you arent feeling the grief from the relationship you start thinking about you're ex subconciously to get back to that pain...i think a lot of people are "over" the ex and use thoughts of them to stay connected to the pain..The pain and grief consumes you for x amount of months and had become part of you when you feel yourself healing you start thinking about the ex again to get back to that pain bc you unified with it...all very bizaree and all done unconciously, but very true and scary 2
OwlSoul Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 OwlSoul I like your #2. Don't understand your #3? lol Computer games. There are online games which make you get involved into cyber society (World of Warcraft, Eve online, Guild Wars, Lineage, and etc. etc), so you gonna spend some time working (playing) for the common good. Keeps you busy and a bit unattached to the reality though. I'd also recommend something related to helping other people. Voluntering, for instance. Helping someone, getting involved to other people's pain heal you better than anything else.
Devastated77 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I hear you. Mornings are a complete bitch. You wake up and for the first few seconds you're fine...then BAM! You remember what's happened and all the pain comes flooding back I seriously am sick of this and can't wait to start feeling better. 2
SalientPoint Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Yep, in the morning and last thing I think of at night club too here. Plus it's even harder because for the last few months it was long distance so due to time differences she's awake while I'm asleep so I know she could potentially try and contact me at hours when most of us know are off limits cause their ex's would be asleep. Anyhow, got some good advice here on a past thread about it being hard to get out of bed. When you wake yourself just will yourself to at least hop in the shower, make coffee, get the paper etc. It will take ALL your energy at first, but it kind of works. Also if you need to cry and you can just let it out. I started a thread about how I cried in the middle of Walmart in hicksville the other day, so just do it if you have to
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