Buttercup84 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 My friend whom I have known for just over a year, met a guy on an OLD site and they got engaged two weeks later. They have not been even dating six months yet. She asked me to be her MOH, saying I am her best friend etc. I said yes of course, but not long after, there was a huge drama with him flipping out and stealing from her and almost punching her. They are still getting married and none of his or her friends think they should. She now has turned into a major bridezilla. I have no idea what is going on in the wedding, apart from where it is and my dress. I have offered to help her as she is stressing out with work, planning and uni. But she says no and I have not seen her for over a month now. I asked her if she is avoiding me and she says she is excited about me being in the wedding. Then I get a fb message to me and our mutual friend, saying that she has no time as her bf is her family now and family comes first. That we hardly saw each other anyway and that she does not like clingy people and that she had enough tantrums and guilt trips from kods when she worked in childcare. The message was very long, bascially saying that her time is too precsious. She used to be so sweet and kind, now she is just bitchy. I said I miss the fun we had, and she said " I enjoyed the handfull of times we spent together". Before her douchebag bf came along she said she never had such good friends before and is not used to it. I have not been approaching her anymore as I am tiered of her being rude. Her wedding is in October.
Art_Critic Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Her wedding is in October. I hope you are not going to be her MOH if she really means the things she said to you, is it possible that she is trying to get you to quit in order for someone else to be in that position ? Either way, she is treating you sub standard for someone who considers you a good enough friend to be her MOH.. If you think the friendship is shot then call the MOH bit off right now. If you think she is just under stress and all will be forgiven and you both will come back to each other then ride it out. Just my 2 pennies... 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 I hope you are not going to be her MOH if she really means the things she said to you, is it possible that she is trying to get you to quit in order for someone else to be in that position ? Either way, she is treating you sub standard for someone who considers you a good enough friend to be her MOH.. If you think the friendship is shot then call the MOH bit off right now. If you think she is just under stress and all will be forgiven and you both will come back to each other then ride it out. Just my 2 pennies...[/quote Thank you Well, I did quit after he abused her as I do not support abuse. She understood but then begged me to become her MOH again. She seems very happy about me being there and shows me dresses. After her message I am just over it, if the wedding even happens I will just do my thing and let her be. Doubt I will see her much after that. 1
Emilia Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 After her message I am just over it, if the wedding even happens I will just do my thing and let her be. Doubt I will see her much after that. I'm not sure I'd even go to the wedding as I tend to cut toxic people out of my life for less but it's completely understandable if you see this through to the end. 2
pcplod Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 After her message I am just over it, if the wedding even happens I will just do my thing and let her be. Doubt I will see her much after that. Why oh why would you indulge her? Under any circumstances? She is a user who is planning to marry her match in another user AND abuser, and you are going to let her use you. You do realise that she has always been this person, not just as a result of her getting married? It's just the magnitude of the event brings it all out in clear relief. If I were you I would make, if necessary, polite excuses. Like you have suddenly gone down with a bad bout of incurable BO, halitosis, chronic acne (spoil those piccies would you?) or even just the bubonic plague. You just know it makes sense. 1
pink_sugar Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Thank you Well, I did quit after he abused her as I do not support abuse. She understood but then begged me to become her MOH again. She seems very happy about me being there and shows me dresses. After her message I am just over it, if the wedding even happens I will just do my thing and let her be. Doubt I will see her much after that. I am actually surprised she'd want you to be a MOH considering she knows how you feel about the relationship.
GorillaTheater Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I think I'd bow out of any involvement with this tragicomedy. 2
Radu Posted April 27, 2013 Posted April 27, 2013 I think I'd bow out of any involvement with this tragicomedy. A good ideea, but someone needs to tape it for future laughs. 2
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 Well I met up with her after she asked if I wanted to go for drinks with her and her bf. Did not want to go, but went. I was very distant but then when we were alone I sait is was very hurtful. She said there is no way she would choose anyone else to be her MOH. She said she gets bored with people easily and the only person who does not bore her, is her boyfriend. I will never like her the way I used to, she is not someone I would call a close friend. She told me she thinks her bf has feelings for his female friend,he even told hee he used to like her a lot. So if she wants to only spend time with a guy who does those things, good luck to her. As much as we all want to spend more time with our partners, it is unhealthy to not see friends and only be with your SO. Thanks for your comments guys. I will go to the wedding though.
Art_Critic Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 She said she gets bored with people easily and the only person who does not bore her, is her boyfriend. So you bore her ... Glad you have resolved this to the point you feel comfortable.. it does seem that the friendship is all but gone though. You never know... it might come back..sometimes friendships come and go after some time has passed. oh... and if her BF really does have feelings for her female friend.. ruh roh
Author Buttercup84 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 Everyone bores her lol. So not just me the whole wedding will be a drama, so at least I will have a story to tell.
Radu Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Everyone bores her lol. So not just me the whole wedding will be a drama, so at least I will have a story to tell. She needs drama in her life and her bf is supplying it. Look back at other bf's, situations ... if you know them. 1
RiverRunning Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 You promptly send your regrets and explain other things have gotten in the way, and you won't be able to be her Maid of Honor. Seriously - with all of the money MOHs are expected to dole out, you're expected to pander to this witch? It can easily run up to $1,000 or more to pay for the dress, to pitch in for a bachelorette party, etc. Wash your hands of it and this girl, and be grateful that the psycho pulled herself out of your life. She is in for a world of hurt.
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