UltimaWeapon Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Hi Loveshack My ex keeps on trying to maintain contact with me as "friends" trying to make things be okay between us when I told her countless times I can't do it. I can't act like i am okay with things when I am not. Basically tonight she texted me again out of nowhere and it just pissed me off and ruined my mood. Like I try to be civil with her and be normal because I see her on campus and I run into her alot. We are also on the same COED soccer team so I will be seeing her every week starting next month and that will be tough to get through but I decided I won't leave the team because she is on it- I wana remain strong but I decided that I can't have her contacting me to just satisfy her own ego or attention needs. I am thinking should I just tell her it would be best to not talk to one another and when I see her next month I see her. but like in terms of texting and stuff I can't do it anymore I can't put on a mask and pretend. OR should I just not mention anything and act like it doesn't bother me???? I told her how I feel about her and all of that and she knows exactly yet I am ****ing myself over keeping in contact with her because all it is doing is pissing me off and hurting me because I am not getting the desired outcome of what I WANT which is : TO BE WITH HER. It's all or nothing. I can't do this anymore. Advice please?
Ordinaryday Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Of course, I would, and I did with my ex who dumped me but expected to remain friends with her. Tell her simply and truthfully, something like "given how I feel about you, it would be too hard for me to keep in contact with you as a 'friend' when I want to be so much more. Please understand that if you don't want to be with me, then for me to keep seeing you would hurt and delay my healing process. If you decide you want to be with me, great, I'll be right here for you. But please don't contact me unless it is to say that you want to give us another chance'. I said that to my ex seven mons ago and not a word from her since. But at least that is better than being friend zoned.
Weathergirl Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Hi. I was in the same position as you. After 14 months of trying to be friends, and causing myself untold pain, I finally decided to tell him I can't do it anymore and have gone NC. This is what I've learnt, 1) I wish I'd done it sooner 2) trying to remain friends so soon after bu doesn't work 3) what I thought would make it easier for me (staying in touch) didn't. I didn't want him out of my life, I couldn't let go, so I stayed in contact and just hurt myself really, over and over again. Yes, tell her, otherwise she won't understand the fact you are no longer keeping in touch. Then read a thread on this Forum about NC, and stick with it. Trust me, I wish I had. All the best
OwlSoul Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Yup, just make a long letter, explaining her why you cannot be friends. Send it, make sure she got it, then ignore. Letter is better, since in person your body will be sending signals saying 'I wanna uuu, babyyyy'.
Weathergirl Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/366654-caliguy-no-contact-guide-updated This is the NC guide. Hope this helps.
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