ttoona Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 During February I went away on an interstate trip. During this trip this guy (my now ex) texted me a lot and saying when I was back in town that we should catch up. I agreed and we hit it off as friends. He was persistent about keeping in contact with me, texting me and if he had time he would wait for me to finish work just so we could see each other (ie. walking me to my bus stop). He was mentally stimulating but I simply treated him as my guy friend as I wasn't physically attracted to him, but gravitated towards him due to his wonderful personality. One day at work there was a crazy situation with a workmate and he waited for me after work as usual. He noticed I was in a foul mood and after telling him the situation at work he calmed me down... by confessing his feelings for me. I neither accepted or rejected him and said I understood he was good to me but I needed to clear my head and he was ok with it. He didn't contact me for a few days... giving me the space to think about it. I texted him after a few days and asked to meet up. When we met up he held my hand and he called me his girlfriend I felt so special. I was still pretty unsure about how I felt about him 100%. But I was good to him, I tried to be more attentive to his texts and calls, I wanted to be a good girlfriend to him and we always had a good time. The day after we were together he wanted me to meet his friends. After our dates he'd tell me I made him feel so crazy, that having me in his life was the positive change he needed and that he liked me sooo much. I felt it was all moving a bit too fast. After about 2 weeks though... he stopped texting. It was unusual for him cos he did it everyday even when we were just friends. He finally replied after half a day and told me work was busy and that he was sick. When I texted him in the evening he was also distant. My friends told me to give him the benefit of the doubt. That perhaps he really was just sick. He was distant for 2 days... then when I brought it up to him he apologised quickly for not caring about me in the past few days and he organised dinner for the next day. At the dinner he seemed distant, avoiding any serious topic and he wasn't attentive and kind as he usually was but we had a really good time kissing, making out,etc. He said weird things to me that night like "I'm your" and "your mines" and even told me to go to his place. But I told him I wasn't that type of girl. That was the last date we had together and the last time i saw him face to face. After that date he still managed to call and text me saying and how much he liked me. But 2 days later he didn't text or call. So I sent him a text letting him know I was thinking of him. He texted me in the evening saying work was busy, he was sick and that he'd call me the day after. It was all happening like the week before. But the day after that he didn't text or call me. I messaged him but no reply. That evening I texted him: are you trying to break up with me? I simply meant it as a way to open up dialogue because I was over being ignored. He texted back: sorry. I wasn't surprised because for the whole while I knew it wasn't like him to act like that. I tried to call him but he cancelled my call and he continued texting me: saying he couldn't be with me, he was being overwhelmed with life and needed time. And then he said its not about me. I texted him if he wanted to talk it out over the phone but he didn't reply to my text and I tried calling him again but he cancelled my call again. So I left it at that, I didn't try to text or call him again. About 3 days later he liked some of my photos on facebook. Then he sent me a text with only one word: my name, later that day. I didnt reply because that text just seemed like he was trying to get attention. The thing is I just don't understand what happened. He was soo attentive and treated me so well when he was pursuing me, even when we were dating. But it just fell apart in that last week. Some people said it was cos all he wanted to do was sleep with me which is why he acted so strangely on the last date. I just don't understand why be so persistent in pursuing a girl and then when you're together break up with her? I don't believe it was because he only wanted to sleep with me. I do miss him... I miss his friendship and I'm sad I lost a friend. I'm not upset he broke up with me.... I'm just annoyed by the way he broke up with me, that he couldn't confront me about it properly. I don't think we would work out as lovers anyway because I did feel a little smothered and that things were moving too quickly. But I'm being strong and not contacting him until he's ready to talk to me about it properly and I don't believe that him texting my name was him being ready to talk about it. Do you think eventually we could be friends or its just the end completely? Anyway thank you for listening.
OwlSoul Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 ****ty news. Break-ups always happen because your partner does not feel you're the best for him/her for some reason. And meh, untill both of exes will find new love, friendship is kind of inpossible. Someone will always be hurt, the other person will always feel guilt. Good news? Love never dies. You could work over yourself and prove you're the best.
Author ttoona Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 @OwlSoul: Thank you for the response I don't believe he was "the one" but I truly believe the one is out there for me as naive as that sounds. On my down days sometimes I don't believe it but... meh. I believe its true love never dies so thank you. Because of the way he dumped me, I never felt I was given any proper explanation and thats what makes me hang on to my memories of him, pondering the happy times and what could've went wrong. I don't believe I could get back into a relationship with him, but I miss him as a friend. It's been a week since we've broken up and I want to talk to him and talk it out but everyone tells me NC. Reading posts from this forum everyones main advice is NC. But I'm so torn... I'm really not hung over him and I won't beg him to take me back, but I just want to ask him what went wrong and hope that theres no bitterness to hang on to from either of us... no guilt and just hope that we can move on from the experience. Is it a bad idea for me to call him??
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