Author andre84 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Well I have just a few days left here in Seattle and I'm moving back to Dallas Thursday...I have been feeling really anxious these last few days and I cannot stop thinking about my EX. Right now she is only a block away from me and at the end of the week there will be some 2000 miles in between. While I have kept NC it just feels like this is the point of no return… (I know that it already happened but in my head it feels like as long as I was nearby, there would be hope for the future) Over the long weekend I drank a little too much and one of the nights I went to a mutual friend’s facebook to look at some recent pictures of her… definitely not a good idea. I’m also feeling guilty and I have a lot of regret built inside me. The more time that passes, the more I blame myself for the failed RS. I keep remembering her as this perfect person (even though I know she is not) and all the memories that pop in my head are of the good times we had together. When I try and think about fights and the bad moments, I cannot seem to hang on to those memories/feelings and it just washes away with guilt and regret for things I said or did. I know that I am just scared about the future and the unknown. She is such a great person/catch that I just cannot understand why we could not make it work. On paper we should have been the perfect couple but alas I guess it was not meant to be. I also cannot stand the thought of her ending up with someone else… someone that can give her something I cannot, "happiness". I know that there were a lot of times last year where I myself did not feel happy and I hope that this is an indication that we in fact were not meant to be. But my biggest worry is thinking that I might have screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me… I have a tendency to never be satisfied. (Once I get a promotion/raise I’m happy for a short period of time but then I start wanting more) I am fearful that this same tendency was the main reason my RS deteriorated. I know that I am just going through some of my "down" days and that soon enough I will feel better. But it just sucks to have to go through this at all. While going home will be good for me long term… I am dreading going back and seeing all my old friends and acquaintances that know/are friends with my ex. /end rant
Chi townD Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Dude, just look forward to what's coming. Keep telling yourself that you're going to have to scope out and decide which blonde haired honey is going to go with you to your first Cowboys game back in town. Be excited about being in Dallas because it's a hub of all the fun stuff you can do. I mean, Mardi Gras is just a hop, skip and a jump for you. Key West is just over a small body of water, Los Angeles is a little more than a hour flight....there's so much more around there for you to do and it's not going to break the bank for flight costs like Seattle would have done. What the hell is around Seattle? Seattle IS the focal point! What's around there? Portland? Yeah, that sounds like a blast (I apologize to anyone from Portland, I'm sure it's a nice place, I just didn't see it when I was there....) Look forward to the adventure ahead. Not what you're leaving behind.
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