Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 To the person that asked how he facebook stalked me. There were certain times from 2011-til today that facebook changed their privacy settings and my profile was left wide open when I thought for sure that it was private... But I'm not friends with him on facebook and never have been. So that is creepy. To the person who said that they come from a very introverted family when it comes to sex. Thank you for understanding how uncomfortable I feel. I can't stay away. I was actually supposed to spend some one on one time with his father to get to know him more.. But then now this happened. Wtf? Sigh. Now when I go over there again, he might suggest that we all go out to breakfast or that me and him talk so he can get to know me more. How WEIRD. Is that normal? This is my first few days getting to know him. I've known his mother for about a year and a couple months now. But I'm just meeting his father. His parents are still together, but his father travels a lot for business and every time that he came home I always ended up being back in my home state visiting my family... this is just so so so so so awkward. And then I started thinking about all of my profile pictures. I'm a pageant girl. So I have some cute flirty pageant photos up on my facebook. Which makes me feel really awkward. =/ I didn't even know he HAD a facebook.
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 Ugh talking about embarrassing sex stories. My ex had it ten times worse than you. She wanted to put on a good impression for my parents and be that good girl for them. It was believed that we were going to be together for awhile and probably marry someday. I convinced her to use my parent's shower and bath one time (has a jet stream) when my parents were away. After we had sex and wiped up, we walked out the door. There was my parents walking towards their room looking in at both of us naked and me with a hard on still. I don't even think my parents have sex anymore after they had me. They always sleep with the door open. As uncomfortable as I was, I thought it was hilarious. My girlfriend locked herself in the closet until I told her my parents left. My parents honestly just laughed and told me to tell her it's normal whatever we did. Lol! Omg reading this made me feel about a milllllllion times better! Thanks forthis.
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 (edited) Ugh talking about embarrassing sex stories. My ex had it ten times worse than you. She wanted to put on a good impression for my parents and be that good girl for them. It was believed that we were going to be together for awhile and probably marry someday. I convinced her to use my parent's shower and bath one time (has a jet stream) when my parents were away. After we had sex and wiped up, we walked out the door. There was my parents walking towards their room looking in at both of us naked and me with a hard on still. I don't even think my parents have sex anymore after they had me. They always sleep with the door open. As uncomfortable as I was, I thought it was hilarious. My girlfriend locked herself in the closet until I told her my parents left. My parents honestly just laughed and told me to tell her it's normal whatever we did. Goodness. The more and more I think about it.. The more and more pissed I get. I feel like telling his father off.. Of course I won't. How the **** am I supposed to look him in his eyes. This is so awkward with me. I have a way with men. I know they all want to sleep with me desperately, so I'm always slightly snobby with them in a cute flirty way. But with his father. I don't even now how to ACT. So I would just try and say as little as possible and try my hardest to hide my sex appeal. But NOW what?! I'm so frustrated. I just don't know how to act anymore. Sorry if I came off snotty. But I'm 5'5 with 34dd's and I only weigh 130 pounds and I have full lips. You do the math. I was trying as hard as possible to not come off sexual, which for me is not easy. Now that he's seen these ****ing texts, coupled with my photos on facebook. How the hell do I act around him?! If I try to pull off the good girl act he'll probably laugh in his head and call me a fraud in his head. But I can't act snobby and flirty with my boyfriend's father the way I do with all men, especially older men. So now what? Edited April 25, 2013 by CuriousKitty7777777
CC12 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I can't stay away. Yes you can. You're an adult and you can make your own decisions. If you don't want to go over there, don't. I was actually supposed to spend some one on one time with his father to get to know him more.. I have never, ever spent one on one time with my father in law, and I've never heard of anyone else doing this, either. I don't think this is normal. To me, normal is to get to know the in-laws in social/family settings, where you attend as a couple, your boyfriend introducing you and generally being around. So, this one on one thing is strange to me. Even so, if this is the norm in your culture/family/whatever, I still think you would be in the right to opt out of it since the dad has disrespected boundaries and also done some other weird things. Don't feel obligated to spend time with him for any reason. I hope your boyfriend will understand this and take your side.
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 Yes you can. You're an adult and you can make your own decisions. If you don't want to go over there, don't. I have never, ever spent one on one time with my father in law, and I've never heard of anyone else doing this, either. I don't think this is normal. To me, normal is to get to know the in-laws in social/family settings, where you attend as a couple, your boyfriend introducing you and generally being around. So, this one on one thing is strange to me. Even so, if this is the norm in your culture/family/whatever, I still think you would be in the right to opt out of it since the dad has disrespected boundaries and also done some other weird things. Don't feel obligated to spend time with him for any reason. I hope your boyfriend will understand this and take your side. ....My boyfriend actually shot me a very disapproving look when I subtly expressed to him that I thought it was weird. His father said that I should come over every day for the next week to spend time with him.. I laughed jokingly that it would be weird/awkward. Because I thought he was kidding? Then he looked at me with a straight face saying, "why would that be weird?" and then I thought to myself, maybe I don't really know the culture well.. Because I was born and raised in America and both of our sets of parents are born and raised in India.. So sometimes it's like culture shock for us all when we interact. So I stopped the laugh and got a straight face, but then he remembered that I have classes so there's no way I could come see him everyday for this week because of school...I think he just wants to get to know me since I am his son's girlfriend? My boyfriend also told me he got my number. But I assumed that was normal? Which I still think that's kind of normal. For the most part. Especially since he hasn't called. Could have just been for emergencies. I don't think he wants to do anything with me (hopefully not).. I think he's just being friendly and wants to get to know me....
spiderowl Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 His Dad was out of line reading his texts and even if he succumbed to temptation and read them he shouldn't have said anything. I can understand why you feel embarrassed and it's a pity your boyfriend doesn't understand. In your situation, I think I'd avoid them both for a while.
ja123 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 ....His father said that I should come over every day for the next week to spend time with him.. I laughed jokingly that it would be weird/awkward. Because I thought he was kidding? Then he looked at me with a straight face saying, "why would that be weird?" He's power tripping on you now. Just play it really straight. Tell him that you know he read some stuff on his son's phone and you don't like that he did that. It was meant to be private. As a result of his actions, you don't feel comfortable anymore. Then leave the room and let him stew. The father's got a major boner for you, sweetheart. I mean, FB stalker? At his age, and stalking he's son's GF? Come on! Dude's a perve without morals: total lack of boundaries. I'd love to know what he gets up to on all those business trips. Gimme a break.
CC12 Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 Then he looked at me with a straight face saying, "why would that be weird?" and then I thought to myself, maybe I don't really know the culture well.. Ask your parents or other family members if it's normal in your culture to spend alone time with the father of your boyfriend. Also ask if it's normal that you're expected to spend every day with him for a week.
Tinie Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 The father's got a major boner for you, sweetheart. I mean, FB stalker? At his age, and stalking he's son's GF? Come on! Dude's a perve without morals: total lack of boundaries. I'd love to know what he gets up to on all those business trips. Gimme a break. Ugh that point right there is enough to give anyone the heebie-jeebies!
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 Sigh, on my way there in about 2 hours. I'll tell you all how the dreaded moment goes. Seeing him again. So ****ing awkward!
clia Posted April 26, 2013 Posted April 26, 2013 I'm just going to jump in and be the wet dishrag for a minute. If you truly are really smart and in grad school, you probably have high career aspirations. As such, you should be careful about what you put in writing when it comes to dirty talk. Why not just talk to your boyfriend on the phone? Why create a written log that he has obviously kept that goes back months? That kind of thing can come back to embarrass you. I know you are in a nice, committed relationship now, but what if something goes wrong? What if your boyfriend and you break up and he someday decides to forward those texts to your boss, or your client, or your coworkers, or ... see what I'm getting at? Just tell him what you want to do to him...don't write it down! Carry on ... And yeah, the dad is totally in the wrong for reading the texts. Maybe your boyfriend should put a lock code on his phone so he can't do that in the future.
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 (edited) Okay. I'm totally over this guy. Initially I thought that he was very friendly. Then slightly annoying. Now I just seriously can't stand him. And I am dreading going over to my boyfriend's place now, because I know that I will see his father. So here's the deal. I went over to my boyfriend's last night, and my boyfriend admitted to me that his father actually DEMANDED to see his phone and went through it. It wasn't just laying on the dining room table. WTF is his father's deal? Okay remember how the text messages revealed that me and my boyfriend usually sleep in the same bed together (and all of the explicit and nasty things we do, and how I like it in bed)? I figured what the hell and slept with my boyfriend in his room, in his bed, like I would usually do when his father is away on business, because he knows the truth now anyways..So what's with putting up a front? Well this guy gets everyone in the household up to do "devotionals".. He converted to Christianity when he came to America, and naturally his children and his wife are Christian as well. That's fine with me. I NEVER judge anyone by religion. So. We're all in the living room, at like 7 freaking AM...Me, my boyfriend's two younger siblings, his mom, and his dad. So his dad goes, "I thought you were supposed to come over on Tuesday. Were you or were you not? Or am I just confused? Maybe I'm wrong and you never said that?" THIS pissed me off. And let me tell you why. Me and my boyfriend got in a fight on Monday night (it was super petty, and we got over it like we always do) and Monday night ended with us "breaking up" (which never lasts more than 2 days).. So we "broke up" and in the texts I was like, "Please let your father know we broke up, because he was really nice to me, and I told him that I was probably gonna show up again on Tuesday and I don't want him to think I blew him off" ...HE READ THAT. In the text messages. HE-READ-THAT... So why is he playing this stupid mind game with me like he has no idea that me and my boyfriend broke up for a day and a half?! When he KNOWS this. And was even consoling my boyfriend about it for that day and a half. The guy is a control freak, and he's pissing me off...Why ask me a question you already know the answer to? Because he wanted to put me on spot and let me know that he was pissed that I didn't show up on Tuesday.. But why would I show up when I was "broken up" with my boyfriend... Okay. Now here's another annoying thing. He knows my family is Muslim. He's known this since 2 years ago. Because my boyfriend told him, and my boyfriend told me he told him and they discussed it casually. Secondly, my last name makes it VERY obvious that I am Muslim. And although it may not be obvious to some people, Indian people can ALWAYS tell when you have an Arabic/Muslim last name.. But then when we all sat down to read the bible this morning he says, "Oh... I didn't know you were a Muslim." I said. "Oh yeah, I am." I just kept it short. Then he goes, "But you're not REALLY a Muslim. You don't pray 5 times a day. Your parents are really Muslims. You're not." ...This offended the hell out of me, not because I'm super religious. Because I'm not at all. I'm super open to all religions and respect all religions. I don't really think one is better than the other. This pissed me off because he basically tried to strip me of my religion, but then casually tell me that he's not trying to force Christianity on me. But then told me why Christianity is so good and had me answer a question in the passage he read... After we were done with the morning bible readings, I just went to my boyfriends room and stayed there until his dad left. I'm so sick of this guy. What's his deal? Edited April 28, 2013 by CuriousKitty7777777 1
darkmoon Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 (edited) Okay. I'm totally over this guy. Initially I thought that he was very friendly. Then slightly annoying. Now I just seriously can't stand him. And I am dreading going over to my boyfriend's place now, because I know that I will see his father. So here's the deal. I went over to my boyfriend's last night, and my boyfriend admitted to me that his father actually DEMANDED to see his phone and went through it. It wasn't just laying on the dining room table. WTF is his father's deal? Okay remember how the text messages revealed that me and my boyfriend usually sleep in the same bed together (and all of the explicit and nasty things we do, and how I like it in bed)? I figured what the hell and slept with my boyfriend in his room, in his bed, like I would usually do when his father is away on business, because he knows the truth now anyways..So what's with putting up a front? Well this guy gets everyone in the household up to do "devotionals".. He converted to Christianity when he came to America, and naturally his children and his wife are Christian as well. That's fine with me. I NEVER judge anyone by religion. So. We're all in the living room, at like 7 freaking AM...Me, my boyfriend's two younger siblings, his mom, and his dad. So his dad goes, "I thought you were supposed to come over on Tuesday. Were you or were you not? Or am I just confused? Maybe I'm wrong and you never said that?" THIS pissed me off. And let me tell you why. Me and my boyfriend got in a fight on Monday night (it was super petty, and we got over it like we always do) and Monday night ended with us "breaking up" (which never lasts more than 2 days).. So we "broke up" and in the texts I was like, "Please let your father know we broke up, because he was really nice to me, and I told him that I was probably gonna show up again on Tuesday and I don't want him to think I blew him off" ...HE READ THAT. In the text messages. HE-READ-THAT... So why is he playing this stupid mind game with me like he has no idea that me and my boyfriend broke up for a day and a half?! When he KNOWS this. And was even consoling my boyfriend about it for that day and a half. The guy is a control freak, and he's pissing me off...Why ask me a question you already know the answer to? Because he wanted to put me on spot and let me know that he was pissed that I didn't show up on Tuesday.. But why would I show up when I was "broken up" with my boyfriend... Okay. Now here's another annoying thing. He knows my family is Muslim. He's known this since 2 years ago. Because my boyfriend told him, and my boyfriend told me he told him and they discussed it casually. Secondly, my last name makes it VERY obvious that I am Muslim. And although it may not be obvious to some people, Indian people can ALWAYS tell when you have an Arabic/Muslim last name.. But then when we all sat down to read the bible this morning he says, "Oh... I didn't know you were a Muslim." I said. "Oh yeah, I am." I just kept it short. Then he goes, "But you're not REALLY a Muslim. You don't pray 5 times a day. Your parents are really Muslims. You're not." ...This offended the hell out of me, not because I'm super religious. Because I'm not at all. I'm super open to all religions and respect all religions. I don't really think one is better than the other. This pissed me off because he basically tried to strip me of my religion, but then casually tell me that he's not trying to force Christianity on me. But then told me why Christianity is so good and had me answer a question in the passage he read... After we were done with the morning bible readings, I just went to my boyfriends room and stayed there until his dad left. I'm so sick of this guy. What's his deal? smile politely at his dad and explain you're the faithful type, if you expect your boyf to take sides and he lives at home, it could be awkward for him, why can't you two just slip away to meeting at your place? just do it, and/or stop taking his dad seriously, difficult if he's boring right thru you with bible-study, but i think you have to agree with boyf not his dad over religion, so echo your boyf's views, just agree, and slip away from his crazy family, meet at your place instead, you know diplomacy, but your boyf needs to know that you're unhappy/uncomfortable, explain your point of view to him Edited April 28, 2013 by darkmoon
ascendotum Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 (edited) You said the father tried to put you on the spot when he brought up you not coming around on Tue. That was your opportunity to put him on the spot and ask him what was talking about. You never said any such thing. Tue?..Why would he say that. (you typed it not said it). I'd play his game. He has checked you out on FB, not because he is weird, but I'd say its because he is now devout Christian and wants to investigate the types of partners his kids are getting involved with. Maybe you should stop staying over there. I know you said you were not devote Muslim, but I think he is out of order getting you up for 7am bible readings. You should not be invited and you should opt out yourself I feel. How would the father like it if your parents forced your bf to read the koran and pray to mecca when he was over at your place. Expect to be converted if you stay with the bf for any length of time. Also its not that great a relationship if you regularly have mini breakups imo. Also tell your bf to start deleting your txt msgs. Edited April 28, 2013 by ascendotum 1
CC12 Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 What's his deal? You pretty much answered this yourself. He was trying to put you on the spot. Also trying to embarrass and shame you, and trying to get you flustered. And he either thought it would be amusing or he was mad at you or just doesn't care for you and thought you deserved to be called out like that. Either way, he tried to make you uncomfortable and he succeeded. Why would you want to be around someone who makes you so uncomfortable? What does your boyfriend think about all this? What did he say when his dad was grilling you? Did he defend you or try to get his dad to shut up? 1
Noproblem Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 (edited) Okay. I'm totally over this guy. Initially I thought that he was very friendly. Then slightly annoying. Now I just seriously can't stand him. And I am dreading going over to my boyfriend's place now, because I know that I will see his father. So here's the deal. I went over to my boyfriend's last night, and my boyfriend admitted to me that his father actually DEMANDED to see his phone and went through it. It wasn't just laying on the dining room table. WTF is his father's deal? Okay remember how the text messages revealed that me and my boyfriend usually sleep in the same bed together (and all of the explicit and nasty things we do, and how I like it in bed)? I figured what the hell and slept with my boyfriend in his room, in his bed, like I would usually do when his father is away on business, because he knows the truth now anyways..So what's with putting up a front? Well this guy gets everyone in the household up to do "devotionals".. He converted to Christianity when he came to America, and naturally his children and his wife are Christian as well. That's fine with me. I NEVER judge anyone by religion. So. We're all in the living room, at like 7 freaking AM...Me, my boyfriend's two younger siblings, his mom, and his dad. So his dad goes, "I thought you were supposed to come over on Tuesday. Were you or were you not? Or am I just confused? Maybe I'm wrong and you never said that?" THIS pissed me off. And let me tell you why. Me and my boyfriend got in a fight on Monday night (it was super petty, and we got over it like we always do) and Monday night ended with us "breaking up" (which never lasts more than 2 days).. So we "broke up" and in the texts I was like, "Please let your father know we broke up, because he was really nice to me, and I told him that I was probably gonna show up again on Tuesday and I don't want him to think I blew him off" ...HE READ THAT. In the text messages. HE-READ-THAT... So why is he playing this stupid mind game with me like he has no idea that me and my boyfriend broke up for a day and a half?! When he KNOWS this. And was even consoling my boyfriend about it for that day and a half. The guy is a control freak, and he's pissing me off...Why ask me a question you already know the answer to? Because he wanted to put me on spot and let me know that he was pissed that I didn't show up on Tuesday.. But why would I show up when I was "broken up" with my boyfriend... Okay. Now here's another annoying thing. He knows my family is Muslim. He's known this since 2 years ago. Because my boyfriend told him, and my boyfriend told me he told him and they discussed it casually. Secondly, my last name makes it VERY obvious that I am Muslim. And although it may not be obvious to some people, Indian people can ALWAYS tell when you have an Arabic/Muslim last name.. But then when we all sat down to read the bible this morning he says, "Oh... I didn't know you were a Muslim." I said. "Oh yeah, I am." I just kept it short. Then he goes, "But you're not REALLY a Muslim. You don't pray 5 times a day. Your parents are really Muslims. You're not." ...This offended the hell out of me, not because I'm super religious. Because I'm not at all. I'm super open to all religions and respect all religions. I don't really think one is better than the other. This pissed me off because he basically tried to strip me of my religion, but then casually tell me that he's not trying to force Christianity on me. But then told me why Christianity is so good and had me answer a question in the passage he read... After we were done with the morning bible readings, I just went to my boyfriends room and stayed there until his dad left. I'm so sick of this guy. What's his deal? To tell you the truth This father won't let his son marry you You know your culture ..weather you two american or not They are Indian ....Even if they pretend to be American They will always want their children to have a traditional marriage and now that they found out you two had sex ...They will not approve on a marriage .....Which sucks but this is the reality of people from traditional countries .... P.S: They will blame it on religions' differences by the way.... There is not a true Muslim, true Christian, or true Jewish There is true human being and he lacks that! Edited April 28, 2013 by Noproblem
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