CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 So my boyfriend and I are both 24. His father is just super nosy for whatever reason. My boyfriend had his phone on the dining room table. His father picked it up took it to his room and went through all of his texts all the way back until the middle of MARCH! WHAT-THE-HECK?! Mind you I'm a really nice and responsible young woman, I'm in grad school, and me and my boyfriend have been in a steady relationship for 2 and a half years. Everything is fine. But goodness. This is really upsetting me... Because his father read all of the nasty things I said to my boyfriend. Should I feel ashamed? I'm a very sexual person, but only with my boyfriend. But now his father knows. So he will just laugh at my stupid "I'm a good girl who is only concerned with her gpa act" My God just to give you all an idea of the things that I wrote, I said things about how I can't wait to go down on him, and how I love the taste of his c*m, how I love taking it doggy position, how I always masturbate to thoughts of him, how my breasts bounce when I ride him. Mind you I said all of this WAYYYYYY more explicitly. I even talked about how I think his mother knows that we have a lot of sex. And how I hope his father doesn't find out because then he might think I'm a whore. (We're Indian, and our culture can be kind of old fashioned, but me and my boyfriend are first generation American children) anyway. My goodness. So he goes to my boyfriend chuckling, "Wow. She said all of that?" My boyfriend was really upset at first that he went through his phone. But now he thinks it's hilarious. I'm completely ashamed and embarrassed. And now his father knows that we just put on an act of me sleeping upstairs in his sister's room, when I really just sneak down in the basement every night to sleep with my boyfriend. I'm so afraid to go back there. This is so embarrassing. What should I do?
Treasa Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 His dad sounds like an *******. I would never go through someone else's phone like that. I would be coolly polite and spend as much time away as possible. Also, your boyfriend may want to consider moving out and/or locking his phone. If he doesn't want to do that, you may want to consider getting a new boyfriend. 3
Jbum5 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 You've established a relationship with over 2 years of foundation. The solution is simple: you keep at it and grow some thick skin for the buffoon who went through your boyfriend's phone. Suck it up and continue to be cordial if you want this relationship to go anywhere. 4
darkmoon Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 some would say your problem might turn out to be deflecting your boyf's dad's hopes of trying you out for himself... 2
Treasa Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 some would say your problem might turn out to be deflecting your boyf's dad's hopes of trying you out for himself... Gaaaaacckkk... 2
KatZee Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 His dad was out of line snooping, but honestly he doesn't sound angry. If anything he sounds kind of pervy the way he goes, "Wow, she said all of that?" while chuckling. It's like he got his own rocks off reading all that. You're both adults. Dating almost 3 years. Adults have sex. Other adults know this. You couldn't have thought they thought you were a virgin, right? 6
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Dad doesn't give a damn, he isn't stupid and he's a man himself. Just because he's older and wearing the "dad" hat doesn't mean he's not a man. The truth is he'd probably be banging a 24 year old like you if he had the chance and nobody was looking/judging. I understand this is embarrassing for you and it was quite intrusive of his dad, but this will be a whatever thing in the end, he'll pat his boy on the back and be proud that he's with a good girl/c*m sucker like you. That's pretty much the "ideal" anyway. So stop worrying, I think you'll be extremely embarrassed and dad might have a few kicks from it but ultimately dear old dad will just reminisce about the good old days....when he used to have sex. I don't think his dad intended to find out that information or what he was about to read, but it's over now. In the bigger picture this is just one small part of the big picture, you've not been together very young and it's still in the honeymoon phase, it won't be like this forever and it won't be that important. But if dad starts poking fun and giving you the wink in private...well then that's another thing 7
Maleficent Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 So my boyfriend and I are both 24. His father is just super nosy for whatever reason. My boyfriend had his phone on the dining room table. His father picked it up took it to his room and went through all of his texts all the way back until the middle of MARCH! WHAT-THE-HECK?! Mind you I'm a really nice and responsible young woman, I'm in grad school, and me and my boyfriend have been in a steady relationship for 2 and a half years. Everything is fine. But goodness. This is really upsetting me... Because his father read all of the nasty things I said to my boyfriend. Should I feel ashamed? I'm a very sexual person, but only with my boyfriend. But now his father knows. So he will just laugh at my stupid "I'm a good girl who is only concerned with her gpa act" My God just to give you all an idea of the things that I wrote, I said things about how I can't wait to go down on him, and how I love the taste of his c*m, how I love taking it doggy position, how I always masturbate to thoughts of him, how my breasts bounce when I ride him. Mind you I said all of this WAYYYYYY more explicitly. I even talked about how I think his mother knows that we have a lot of sex. And how I hope his father doesn't find out because then he might think I'm a whore. (We're Indian, and our culture can be kind of old fashioned, but me and my boyfriend are first generation American children) anyway. My goodness. So he goes to my boyfriend chuckling, "Wow. She said all of that?" My boyfriend was really upset at first that he went through his phone. But now he thinks it's hilarious. I'm completely ashamed and embarrassed. And now his father knows that we just put on an act of me sleeping upstairs in his sister's room, when I really just sneak down in the basement every night to sleep with my boyfriend. I'm so afraid to go back there. This is so embarrassing. What should I do? Well first, if he chuckled - I doubt he thinks you're a whore. I would laugh it off. Also - once my dad found out I had spent the night over at a guy's place with whom he knew it was a first date. I was completely uncomfortable and he laughed and told me before he started dating my mom in his early twenties, him and his best friend had a new girl every night and that at 32, I am probably 10 times more responsible than he was. I'm sure your boyfriend's parents have done nastier stuff in their time. 1
SJC2008 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Of course it's embarrassing, those are intimate details of your relationship. Key word being intimate, meaing it's nobody elses business what happens with your bf between closed doors. The father had no right to do what he did. I think you should tell your boyfriend that he needs to tell his father he shouldn't be going through his phone. I'm assuming he doesn't have a smart phone which all have password locking capabilities. It's time for a an upgrade! 1
Treasa Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 My opinion might be *slightly* biased by the fact that I was molester by my father, but....no, it'd still piss me off. I like my privacy and I respect other people's privacy.
SJC2008 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 My opinion might be *slightly* biased by the fact that I was molester by my father, but....no, it'd still piss me off. I like my privacy and I respect other people's privacy. I'm sorry to hear that Treasa. Statistics say one in three women and one in four men have been molested by the age of 18 and they think the numbers are higher due to under-reporting.
Treasa Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that Treasa. Statistics say one in three women and one in four men have been molested by the age of 18 and they think the numbers are higher due to under-reporting. Aww, thank you. Thankfully I don't consider myself a victim or a survivor or anything, but stuff like this still makes me super twitchy. And you're right...a lot of it doesn't come out.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 His dad was out of line snooping, but honestly he doesn't sound angry. If anything he sounds kind of pervy the way he goes, "Wow, she said all of that?" while chuckling. It's like he got his own rocks off reading all that. You're both adults. Dating almost 3 years. Adults have sex. Other adults know this. You couldn't have thought they thought you were a virgin, right? Hell, If I was the dad and I knew all that I'd be 10 times worse...It'd be like "WOOOOAHHHH!", then I'd walk around kissing a cross and blessing myself with my eyes closed every time she walked by, clinching the bible to my chest saying hail mary's and asking god to forgive us for our sinful, lustful thoughts.
Treasa Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 There are four days out of the month where I would loudly say to my boyfriend's father, in public, "Since you like reading texts about what we do sexually, do you want me to just invite you to come watch the next time I hop on?" 1
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 His dad was out of line snooping, but honestly he doesn't sound angry. If anything he sounds kind of pervy the way he goes, "Wow, she said all of that?" while chuckling. It's like he got his own rocks off reading all that. You're both adults. Dating almost 3 years. Adults have sex. Other adults know this. You couldn't have thought they thought you were a virgin, right? I didn't lose my virginity until last year this time.. So I mean it was very well quite possible.
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 There are four days out of the month where I would loudly say to my boyfriend's father, in public, "Since you like reading texts about what we do sexually, do you want me to just invite you to come watch the next time I hop on?" Hahaha! I wish I was that gutsy to do all of that.
Author CuriousKitty7777777 Posted April 25, 2013 Author Posted April 25, 2013 some would say your problem might turn out to be deflecting your boyf's dad's hopes of trying you out for himself... I thought about this as well.. He even told me that he's been facebook stalking me since 2011.. Which makes me even more paranoid. VERY paranoid.
ascendotum Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Hell, If I was the dad and I knew all that I'd be 10 times worse...It'd be like "WOOOOAHHHH!", then I'd walk around kissing a cross and blessing myself with my eyes closed every time she walked by, clinching the bible to my chest saying hail mary's and asking god to forgive us for our sinful, lustful thoughts. I'd probably have some fun with it if I knew anything like that about my kid's bf/gf (though it would be by accident and not snooping) I reckon she should put the dad on the spot. I wonder if bf's mom knows. She could not stay over night there anymore (for a little while, though it will upset the bf no doubt), and when mom asks her son why CuriousKitty doesn't stay anymore he can tell her why, and then momma can twist dad's ear over his snoopy ways. Maybe can she put his dad on the spot with some awkward comments at the dinner table that reference some of her lustful txt msgs. Idk something that can lead to her making a comment about doggy style or her breasts bouncing, then she can look at the dad and say get it Mr.Kumar (or whatever his name is), get it wink wink. After a couple of times the mom is going to be thinking the WTH is going on and will start grilling the dad.
Treasa Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I thought about this as well.. He even told me that he's been facebook stalking me since 2011.. Which makes me even more paranoid. VERY paranoid. .......Dafuq. Yeah, I am seriously creeped out by this guy. 1
Treasa Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 sorry Treasa It's ok, hon. I'm just more easily creeped out by men my father's age taking an interest in me. 1
Eggplant Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 I wonder if he wasn't specifically fishing for something like this. He wasn't born yesterday, and looking through his son's phone, naturally it should occur to him that he might find some private messages. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Your behavior is normal. Good girls who concentrate on their GPAs all like sex, as we're all animals. It's some kind of weird game society has going on. Everybody knows 100% that women like sex. But yeah lets all pretend that they don't, and see if we can catch them liking sex, setting up a trap! Ah ha! Got you! Now I know you're not so innocent. Oh for goodness sakes. Hold your head high -- the one who acted shamefully is your boyfriend's father.
ses Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 It's definitely an uncomfortable invasion of privacy. Another reason I try to lock my phone whenever possible. If his father makes any sexual advances towards you, I would talk to your boyfriend about it immediately and distance yourself from him. The fact that he already facebook stalks you is very disconcerting. I don't know the guy, but his behavior sounds very odd. He's still a man regardless. Always listen to your gut instinct and be careful.
CC12 Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Should I feel ashamed? No, you shouldn't. You weren't the one who did something wrong. His father did something wrong. And if you feel like a sexual deviant or something, don't worry, because his father is worse than you. You can be sure that he got some sort of perverse thrill out of reading that. There's a reason he didn't stop reading when he got to the sexy parts. It's because he liked it. Gross. My boyfriend was really upset at first that he went through his phone. But now he thinks it's hilarious. See, this would really bother me. Your boyfriend shouldn't be laughing at something that made you so uncomfortable and embarrassed. He should be angry that someone violated your privacy. What should I do? I would stop going to his house, for one. His dad's snooping, coupled with the Facebook weirdness (defriend and block immediately) would make me too uncomfortable to be around him. And no more sexy texts until your boyfriend password protects his phone and stops leaving it around for his nosy, pervy father to read. Just curious, how exactly does his dad Facebook stalk you?
Radu Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Ummm, my family is very introvert OP. We never discussed sex, i never had the talk, and when my mom did try at 17, i probably knew more than her [that's what i said anyway]. Right now i probably know more about it than my entire family put together. It's a very taboo subject in my family. When my sister's bf was over, he was not allowed to sleep in the same floor with my sister. And that was when she was 26 and he was 29. I have never discussed my relationships with my parents, and i have a suspicion that some in my family consider me a virgin [at 30]. Discussing sex in the family makes me blush like a schoolgirl [it used to be like that for relationships too]. Things are changing though, but it won't benefit my generation, maybe the next generation of children. I wrote the above to make you understand that if i was in your place, i would react the same way, and i know how it is in your place. That being said, i would stay away for a while, get him to password his phone, have a talk with his father about privacy [your bf], and plan to move out. I think his father is jealous. I don't think jealous enough to do something about you, but jealous.
ViresSanctity Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Ugh talking about embarrassing sex stories. My ex had it ten times worse than you. She wanted to put on a good impression for my parents and be that good girl for them. It was believed that we were going to be together for awhile and probably marry someday. I convinced her to use my parent's shower and bath one time (has a jet stream) when my parents were away. After we had sex and wiped up, we walked out the door. There was my parents walking towards their room looking in at both of us naked and me with a hard on still. I don't even think my parents have sex anymore after they had me. They always sleep with the door open. As uncomfortable as I was, I thought it was hilarious. My girlfriend locked herself in the closet until I told her my parents left. My parents honestly just laughed and told me to tell her it's normal whatever we did.
Recommended Posts