richard9 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Actually thought I was over it all and I had (after 6 months since bu and 3 months nc) moved on. But due to problems at work I feel asthough im slipping into depression and miss the care free times we had together last year. Although when I look back it wasnt all good, but she was so loyal and she would be the person I would talk to. Infact I probably wouldnt be getting so down about work we would be out doing something and my focus would be entirely on her, my problems didnt get to me as much. Damn memories, thought they had gone, but now ive hit hard times they are back! I guess having accepted I had moved on this is the delayed responce from the body and mind. Know i will be okay in a week or so, just missing that support she gave me. But im a realist I know that support was there but I also know that support would have meant nothing at the weekend when she would plan to meet other guys with her girl friends, and I would be wondering where she was and who she was out flirting with. Damn memories...
fiftyofsomethin Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Ahh memories.... Yep. Same with me bro. It's just so so painful to imagine what they are doing without us. Why they are so happy, why they seem to want to move on... etc. It's just simply something that needs to be worked out I'm afraid. The only way that I think will actually work is getting your mind off of her. You just need to find someone/something to get interested in and you will hopefully forget all about her. With my ex BEFORE my most recent ex, I was a wreck for the entire time before I found my last ex. That was a great learning experience that yes, you can in fact move on, you just need someone or something to show you.
Author richard9 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 Thanks man, yeah it still amazes me how they move on and get happier and happier, and we struggle like hell to move on and become more and more miserable. Thankfully I dont feel the pain anymore so thats something. I just seem to have aged, I mean im not carefree as I used to be, im more serious, I dont fool around or have as much fun. Perhaps this has forced me to grow up, I just feel miserable. BUT ive come this far and im not going to let it get me down! one bad day is not near as bad as the days at the end of the relationship where she didnt care less about me and lied to me. Still looking forward and moving on!
fiftyofsomethin Posted April 25, 2013 Posted April 25, 2013 Thanks man, yeah it still amazes me how they move on and get happier and happier, and we struggle like hell to move on and become more and more miserable. This right here. That is exactly word for word how I feel. The one thing I need to keep telling myself, and you should too, is that if they were able to get over us so fast, and be so happy right now, why can't we do the same? Just need to focus on ourselves and actually enjoy things for ourselves. Workout, volunteer, do things with friends, etc. etc.... Think about it, the reason why someone else can be happy after a breakup and you can't is because they have something in their life right now that they personally see as being better/more important than you. It sucks, but the problem is that the more we make it apparent that we want them back, the more they take us for granted. The true way to actually make them miss you/reconsider their decision is to actually move on and find ways to be happy without them. So the way that you sort of encourage yourself to keep going is that she might actually think twice about you if you continue, and then before you know it you will find that you are actually over her and don't even care what she is doing or what she thinks anymore. This my friend, is bliss. Good luck to you (and me). We got this. Let's kick this breakup's ass.
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