cherie88 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 We broke up in the first place cause he often compared me to other girls and i suspected there was another girl in the picture ( a former friend of mine) but i didnt want to admit it because i cared about him so much. When i brought up questions he put all the blame telling me i should be ashamed of myself cause im the liar.. a very traumatizing experience cause he told me I was basically dirt and not to look at him. After that day I didnt keep in contact with him.. now he is with the girl that i suspected he is having an affair with and although i know there is guilt involved i havent heard a single sorry or check up from him. I pretend like im so happy inside but im actually hurting. Its been 4 months. Recently I caught him starting at me , and an hour later recieved a text from him asking for his microwave back.. and thats it. I cant tell if he is purposely trying to get under my skin or what? i dont know what to do. Isnt he the one living a happy life with the new girl and im suffering? why is this needed.. Im so hurt he can careless. I will always feel inferior to the girls he compared me too .. im not as sassy enough, i can't cook, im not as funny.
wisernow Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I'm sorry you're hurting, but you sound pretty lucky to be out of the relationship with this douche. He's cheated on you, calls you names, treats you like crap, etc. Give ol' dude his microwave back, get out and date some real men, and be thankful he's no longer your problem. Bullet dodged. 2
Sunshine87 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry you are hurting. You need to forge ahead. Don't relent, dont relapse. There is nothing I can say to take away the pain and hurt that you're going through. But he sounds callous and in the long run you will be happy that you exited this relationship. No two persons are alike. We all have our unique peculiarities that make us special. So don't compare yourself to her. You could always learn to cook. You might not be as funny - but so what? There are many other lovely aspects to you, so pls don't allow your ex kill your spirit or obliterate your self esteem. What you need to do is go no contact. Avoid him like a plague. Dont respond to his messages either. Shut him out completely. I promise you that with time you will feel better. In the mean time, surround yourself with friends and family, get busy, learn how to cook, engage in activities that generate pleasure and stay away from him and his new girlfriend. Go through the posts under the the "breaking up" section for invaluable advice. Yould be shocked at the extent of grief people are coping with. You are not alone. This too shall pass. Stay strong. Edited April 24, 2013 by Sunshine87
pteromom Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 i havent heard a single sorry or check up from him. I pretend like im so happy inside but im actually hurting. He was a jerk when you were with him, and he continues to be a jerk now that he's with someone else. This is not surprising. You have to realize that his rejection and ignoring of you is NOT a reflection of you. He is a broken person who is incapable of the love you want, and you need to adjust your thinking. You are FORTUNATE to be rid of this guy. Now, she is stuck with someone who cheats, calls her names, compares her to other women, and isn't capable of true intimacy. I understand you want love, but you will go on to find it somewhere else, with someone willing and able to give it to you. Don't compare yourself to her. You are just telling yourself the same crap he would have told you - continuing to do his old job of insulting and demeaning you. You are good enough the way you are. You are pretty enough. You are smart enough. You are funny enough. You also own your own feelings about yourself, so be fabulous and move forward. You can do much much better. 2
freestyle Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Please do some reading on emotionally abusive relationships, because that's exactly what was happening. The more informed you become, the less likely you will be to fall into one of those patterns again. Anyone who compares you like that, is playing a very ugly manipulative game. It's about getting you to feel insecure, like you have to keep jumping through higher and higher hoops, to keep their love. Never waste your time , or energy on someone who treats you, or speaks to you, as if you're "less than".....No one deserves that. 1
Recommended Posts