olecountry Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) Hi sorry for the novel heres my deal, the lady went MIA..... i got out of a bad relationship mid jan and she got out of a long term relationship in mid december. we had known each other since we were kids, dated when we were 12/13, alwasy sorta liked each other just never did too much about it, life happened. now at 24, i see her the night me and my ex break up. we end up sleeping together, and begin to sleep together regularly the up until 3.5 weeks ago. She lives like 45min-1hr from me outside the city, so she'd always come to my place (she preferred that) and we'd sleep together about once a week. we weren't dating, but we were like friends with benefits but to each other exclusively, we briefly vaguely discussed this early on. well due to my job mid march i have to leave town for 2-2.5 weeks, she drives a whole hour to just kiss me goodbye before i leave, shes also began staying the night and hanging out with me the next day for a while before returning home- things seem to become a relationship. during this time i am gone, i mess up cause i only text her once telling her its fun. i come home, she doesnt see me for a week which is sort of odd or respond to many of my text. she comes by, we sleep together, hang out, the next day we go out, talk about my trip, all is well, we plan to see eachother soon (like i said seems to be becoming a relationship now- which is what i secretly wanted the whole time). then boom. she's mia. i hit her up 2 times with no response and text, so i left it be. she never hit me back after over a week so finally i texted her "what happened? your no fun no more!" jokingly and she finally responded saying "yes i am! ill be in town soon, i miss you!" and since i have called her once and texted her once. she never responded so i emailed her saying "sorry if ive been chasing ya, just didnt realize it thought all was well, you know where to find me if u wanna see me" and... nothing? its been almost a month, but she continue to like all my facebook stuff and comment on it but wont talk to me? i think she probably found someone else, but a lot of the girls i know say she may have been offended or felt like "booty call", ive been asking all my "girl friends" and its about half and half that she either was offednded by being "booty call" or found someone new/ got back with old dude. btw i saw her for about 3 - 3.5 months.. my question: why wouldnt she just tell me? we have slept together probably 15-20 times... we are somewhat close..i thought we were about to start dating then shes gone....ive tried to talk about it? i have left it at the email, i mean should i bother to get an answer? its almost bothering me more than she didn't say a word just went MIA more than that she doesn't wanna be with me. I just simply wanna know what i did? i assume persuing that answering would come off as "creepy"? -young n dumb. Edited April 24, 2013 by olecountry
whatsdone Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 i think she probably found someone else, but a lot of the girls i know say she may have been offended or felt like "booty call", ive been asking all my "girl friends" and its about half and half that she either was offednded by being "booty call" or found someone new/ got back with old dude. -young n dumb. no dude..from what I got out of that was...that you were her booty call. :/ sry2say
Author olecountry Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 ^ thats fine. i appreciate your advice, seems verrrry plausable. i just was curious. it just seemed very out of character for her to just one day stop talking to me. she seemed like the type to be like "im seeing someone new" or just straight forward. but yeah thats fine im not saying im on top, obviously im not, im just seeing how often this happens, it looked like it was turning into something, but i guess i wasn't aware that was the case. thanks for the advice.
crude Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Don't overthink this. She seems to want a FWB type of relationship. I personally think that's a GOOD thing. Be there to fill in the gaps when she needs a man (plug the holes so to speak).
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Youre in a casual non commited relationship. If you want more accountability you need to be exclusive with somenoe. She's free to do whatever she wants.
Author olecountry Posted April 26, 2013 Author Posted April 26, 2013 i understand we werent fully together, but we were exlusively sleeping with each other, and quite often at that, and this is a girl who including me has slept with 6 guys. not many, or at least for southern girls.. haha. anyways she finally gets back to me after i deleted her on FB? i didn't mean to be childish i was just going to try and forget about her unless she called one day, btu the second i did that she re added me and starting liking all my stuff and commenting? it was bizarre. it seemed like she just wanted my attention so i texted her "whatsup? we talk online but not in real life?" and she finally got back to me saying "___ im sooo sorry i havent responded i just figured thatd be best because i didn't want to upset you, and i wasn't for sure. i'd be afraid id take it back to soon so i didnt say anything, i like you alot, understand I DO LIKE YOU but i feel we are compatable so its hard for me to be intimate (even thought weve had sex 20-25 times in like 90 days..) and i told her this is fine and i understand and i appreciate the respose. but then she kept saying she for sure sitll likes me she doesnt want me to think she doesn't, but she doesn't know how soon she should see me? she also told me shed just figured there were a lot of women around and i wouldnt notice if she was gone (i def messed up not contacting her while i was gone 2 weeks in march, and the last time we slept together we woke up because a former stalker girl of mine was call my phone over and over and i had to explain it to said girl im chasing. im in the music business, and her father was and still is, so she just assumes the girl stuff is always going on too she told me, which does not help at all. the thing is, it isn't, i told her the truth about her being the only one ive been with since my ex. i just didnt wanna bombard her cause wed both gotten outta relatinoships i didn't mean to move too slow. anyways what does this mean? why would she ask to still maybe see me? and make sure i know she likes me? just being friendly and keep me on the backburner? or does this girl sound confused about the situation, and should i just let it go and move forward? i know it seems pretty clear cut, but i figured if she didn't want to ever hear from me again she woulda just left it be after i deleted her, that roused her enough to get back to me after 3.5 weeks and explain herself even tho i didn't really ask and assure me she liked me she just didn't what to do about all this either really...just an odd situation any advice would be sincerally appreciated -24 n still dumb.
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