hope89 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 First, hi everyone i want to share something with you and i need your help. My GF broke up with me 2 months ago. We had 9 months relationship and it was great. We had a lot in common like listening same music, training tennis together, playing video games, etc. It was my soulmate and we had realy good relationship. As i said it was great untill 3 weeks before BU. She started to texting our common friend from tennis classes and i became jealous. She started to go out with him and having fun and i became more and more jealous. When i said that to her she is like "i will not cheat you, bla, bla,bla"(without good explanation for doing that) . She texted him more and more and i became more and more jealous and we start fight and things were worse. After 2-3 days we are again fine and i give here space to do what she want (texting him, seeing him, etc). After week she call me to go out and when we saw each other she was so happy. Happy like never before. She was smiling, in the mood and very, very happy. The next day she just texted me that she break up with me. I was shocked. When i asked her why she just said that she lost feelings for me bcs i was so attacked and jelaous. Is it possible? So, its hard for me to move on bcs we have a lot in common like same music, video games and everything reminds me of her.Im also forced to see her in tennis classes bcs we train together. It hurts when i see her talking to him every training and laugh with him and im in background devastated. So i realy want to move on but its realy hard when im forced to see her every training. Any help, suggestion?
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 For me, if I were dating a nice guy for 9 months and all of a sudden he turned into a jealous douche, you bet your ass I would dump him. You gave her all the ammo she needed to leave by being jealous, controlling and scary! RED FLAG! I would have probably ended it too. So yes, being a jealous, controlling, "attacking" person can completely change a girls feelings about a guy she has ONLY been dating for 9 months. You were not together for very long and this made her scared of being with you and YES, to answer your question, this can be a HUGE TURN OFF and yes, feelings can change. As for moving on... it will be hard if you see her all the time. I mean, unless you cut all contact (which is how you would help heal yourself,) you will have a harder time getting over her. Do you have to be in the same group training together? Do you have to put yourself through this, or can you train elsewhere?
HuffmanMontana Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 For me, if I were dating a nice guy for 9 months and all of a sudden he turned into a jealous douche, you bet your ass I would dump him. You gave her all the ammo she needed to leave by being jealous, controlling and scary! RED FLAG! I would have probably ended it too. So yes, being a jealous, controlling, "attacking" person can completely change a girls feelings about a guy she has ONLY been dating for 9 months. You were not together for very long and this made her scared of being with you and YES, to answer your question, this can be a HUGE TURN OFF and yes, feelings can change. As for moving on... it will be hard if you see her all the time. I mean, unless you cut all contact (which is how you would help heal yourself,) you will have a harder time getting over her. Do you have to be in the same group training together? Do you have to put yourself through this, or can you train elsewhere? Oh bull****. She was already moving on to the other guy. A good GF wouldn't start up a BFF relationship with another guy and basically rub in in her current BFs face.... She got what she wanted, set him up to look like the bad guy so she could take the new car for a spin. 1
EmptyWalls Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 My ex sometimes would feel the need to make best buds with guys, and I never understood why. Well maybe I do now hence the "ex". I would not get jealous though I would just be like "cool, cant wait to meet him". Usually they spoke a couple of times then never again. But I have to admit she was talking to one and still is actually they are getting pretty serious (internet relationship) since she walked out. So I dont think its healthy for a woman to talk to another man in a deep emotional way, that's what her b/f, fiance, or hubby is for. She wasn't talking to any other men when we first started going out so wtf? She mostly had guy friends when she was coming up anyways so I dunno. I would not have expressed so much jealousy towards her though more towards the douche that was trying to move in on her knowing she was in a relationship maybe serve him a tennis ball to the throat, im sure he had a hand in it. Definitely change your schedule up and avoid seeing or contacting her at all costs. If need be take up water polo or something.
pteromom Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 You need to start consciously changing your thinking. Calling her your "soul mate" is not beneficial to you. She's NOT your soul mate, because if she was, she'd be there beside you. Focusing on everything you have in common isn't beneficial either. So you like the same music and video games... so do many other people. Or even if the next girl likes different music, you'll have other things in common that offset that difference. You guys have very different values when it comes to what is or isn't appropriate in a relationship. If she's a flirty girl who likes hanging out with different men, and you believe that is inappropriate, it's never gonna work. In that situation, one of you has to stuff your true feelings away in order to let the other person be who they are. You may have enjoyed some of the same music and games, but you were very incompatible in values. Neither of you was right or wrong - you were just incompatible. Instead of focusing on what you've lost, think about the lessons learned and move forward. 2
Author hope89 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 As for moving on... it will be hard if you see her all the time. I mean, unless you cut all contact (which is how you would help heal yourself,) you will have a harder time getting over her. Do you have to be in the same group training together? Do you have to put yourself through this, or can you train elsewhere? I cut all contact and ignore her on training but we live in small town and there is just one tennis school so i cant change it..
Chevuron Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 You two were probably just two different people in values. There is nothing saying that years later that you may not come back together again (if you are really meant to be)--but at the moment not right now. Jealously can be a scary thing and it may have made her scared that you were always going to be this way. On the other hand, Was you treating you like you very important despite her other friend? It might of helped if you were able to all be together. I know it must hurt if you have to see her often. But, I would try if you can put her out of your mind and focus on yourself for a bit<: If you can not see if you can widen your social circle in real life and on the net so that she isn't constantly on your mind if she is!
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