JoannaBayne1985 Posted September 20, 2004 Posted September 20, 2004 Hi, any advice would make me feel allot better. I'm convinced my ex has lost his mind. We were together for over 5 years, living together, lots of friends, no plans for engagement for a few years, but we pretty much knew down the road it would happen but we were both young and weren't looking to get hitched until late 20's, early thirties. It was a good relationship until the last year of it. He went nuts & Literally a complete 360. First he started hanging out with all manner of different people. From really religous to drug dealing highschoolers (he hates drugs and is anti0religious). I found out later it was probably because he had crushes on girls. I couldn't take it and eventually we fought so much that we both don't want to speak to eachother. He was becoming violent and scary and always always always angry at me. Whatever I'd say, he'd snap at me. "How was your day?" got a response like "Fine. Just fine. Okay?". He was constantly contradicting himself and was so hard to read. One night he tells me it'd be easier if I wasn't around all the time, so I left for a friends' house, and came back three days later to see him, and he's all lovey dovey and admitting to me how much he wishes he'd see my car in the garage when he comes home. Well, that didn't last, and the last thing i knew he hated me for some reason or another, so I moved 40 miles from Encinitas to Fallbrook to live with my grandpa. I was there until about a week ago. I'm now back in Encinitas after a year at Abuelo's house. I saw my ex yesterday. He didn't say hi, but then I don't know if he saw me. Previous trips into town where we've run into close proximity of eachother haven't even garnered a "hello" from him. THIS TIME he was with a girl. Make that, a woman in her 30's or 40's, and who I assumed to be the woman's kids. The one girl was 4 or 5, and the other was 14 or 15. I asked my friend who they were, and he said, "That's his new mommy -- he's been going after herr for a week. He's going on about how he wants to tag mom and then in 4 years when the older girl is legal, he wants to start on her". I wanted to be a little sick. This was no doubt a harmless brag, but made me think of my friends claiming to find some child porn on his computer once -- but that's a side story. I also found out he had dated alot of strange girls. One cheated on him with one of his married friends. One was a drug pusher. One was a psychobitch. And my buddy added for good measure that most of them were nasty and sluttish. Whatever, I knew he had to see new people, but I was hoping to come back to Enci and maybe try to make up. But it looks like he just got weirder. I don't think it'd be worth my time. It's confusing because I think he doesn't know what he wants and maybe this isn't the best time in his life to make up. Not that I'd get back together with him, but since being here I realized he still talks to alot of the people I'll probably start hanging out with again. It'd be easier. And I do want him to know I'm not mad at him anymore. What do you think? Is he worth it? Thanks!
Merin Posted September 20, 2004 Posted September 20, 2004 What? Since when is it known as a "harmless brag" to be looking at children as sexual object's? I don't think so! Then let's couple that with someone saying they found child pornography on his computer, but again that is just ignored as not true? Jeez! I think you're way better off far far far, Did I say FAR away from this guy! You said he started hanging out with drug users/pushers well it is very common to see a whole different person when they are using drugs themselves... my guess is he is using. It really doesn't matter what kind of girls/women he is now dating (if thats what you want to call it) you are not with him, (thank God) and I would keep it that way. If you want him to know that you're not mad at him anymore, then why not just say "Don't go away mad, just go away?" for real, this guy isn't worth your time and when there is smoke... usually always fire. The accusations and "harmless brags" make my skin crawl.
JoannaBayne1985 Posted September 20, 2004 Posted September 20, 2004 I don't know why it won't let me log in. Oh well, I posted a while ago, and in that pos t I talked about this problem if I should trust him or not. Well, I did ask him about it and he said he didn't have any child pornograph. I trusted him so I didn't snoop. Now I kind of wish I had knowing he did this to me and hurt me so bad. But its in the past now. If he's a real child molester, the truth will come out and I won't be there. It does bug me more than a little now that I think about it. Guys joke about stuff to be macho, but if that's deep down his true intention, its just plain gross.
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