My breakup

[xpaperxcutx]

So for the last time today, I broke with my ex today. We certainly had our ups and downs and I really can't pinpoint him as the main "bad guy" in our relationships. I had faults too, which I have never written on this site, and I certainly wouldn't use my past posts about him as a summary of his character.

 

My faults included my Borderline Personality traits, even going as far irrational anger and outbursts towards him and his family. I was also the instigator of most of the fights in our relationship; I realized now, I was too drama-prone, a factor he had repeatedly pointed out.

 

Out of everyone within immediate family, including my friends and acquaintances, my ex is the one who has put up with my issues the longest. He had tried to be giving and understanding, caring and empathetic, but in the end, I was the hammer that completely broke and shattered him. The biggest regret i have done to him was making him cry anguished .

 

Although he still loves me, we have both changed dramatically. The dynamics that drove us to be together is also what's keeping us apart now. Even though we broken up, he's not willing to completely remove himself from my life. We hope to be each other's support system, willing to lend a hand whenever there's a need. Like those majestic friendships that evidently evolve out of failed relationships.

 

Surprisingly I'm not sad over the breakup. Unlike two weeks where I had fought tooth and nail to win my ex back from a devastating argument and fight, today and tonight, I'm very calm about the finality of our relationship. I finally see the meaning of why relationships can " run their course" and that it's almost unnatural and unrealistic to try to hold onto to that's ultimately, " dead".

 

All in all, this thread is a self-reflection. Of the kind of person I was, and the kind of person I hope to be otherwise.

[carhill]

Thanks for sharing that. As each relationship, IMO, teaches us, I hope you take the lessons learned here and pay them forward.

 

There was a time in life where I felt that, if one took the lessons learned and revisited the love dynamic, one could enjoy a different outcome than the end. Perhaps, in some cases, that's possible. My change was learning to accept the real and move forward. Each past, each person in that past, is the past. It's history. The future is tomorrow.

 

Good luck in your pursuits.

[xpaperxcutx]

Thanks for sharing that. As each relationship, IMO, teaches us, I hope you take the lessons learned here and pay them forward.

 

There was a time in life where I felt that, if one took the lessons learned and revisited the love dynamic, one could enjoy a different outcome than the end. Perhaps, in some cases, that's possible. My change was learning to accept the real and move forward. Each past, each person in that past, is the past. It's history. The future is tomorrow.

 

Good luck in your pursuits.

 

Thanks Carhill. Surprisingly I do feel like i've grown significantlly from this, maturely and otherwise. In hindsight, I learned alot, particularly my need to love and cherish myself as a woman and a person. My ex, god bless him, was and still is my rock. In his own way, he has given me alot. He taught self-integrity, and to see things more clearer.