TheZebra Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I found out today that an old movie favorite of mine is going to be showing this week at a local theatre, one time and one day only. I got all giddy and excited... then realized I had no one to go with. It's the first time in about 2 months that I suddenly felt so alone. Just to make things worse, my best friend flaked on dinner plans (again). To further pour salt into the wound, I got offered 2 free tix to a sporting even today, but turned it down since I had no one to go with. My friends were already busy. The problem is that I want to try dating, but I just don't know how to go about it. See, I'm up at 7am, taking care of the puppy, go to work, get back at 7pm, walk/feed puppy, eat by 8, walk puppy again, sleep by midnight. I'm also working on a new business I just opened on top of my 9-5 job, so most weeknights I'm STILL working in between taking the pup out for walks. The only times I'm actually free are the weekends, and even then I sometimes work on Saturday or Sunday. I just dunno when to find the time to meet someone. Just to make it more complicated, I'm not into the bar/club scene, which is of course is what most people my age do in this city. I'm an introverted person, who's career driven and loves business (I LOVE discussing business; I have subscriptions to two different business magazines), but is also a bit of a gamer geek (PS3!). And of course, new dog owner. I've thought about maybe going to dog parks. I took a GMAT class, half for the content since I want to get my MBA and half for hoping to meet a guy, but no dice. I'm at a loss of where to meet a guy I could mesh well with. Some friends suggested the supermarket in the area where I'm thinking of moving to (lots of yuppies), but I dunno, seems so random. I could really use some ideas. I miss having that one person I could call or text at random times, talking about random stuff we have in common. I miss cuddling. I just miss having that special someone, but I don't know where to look (would prefer not to do OLD btw, it's something I've had bad experiences with and prefer to see as a last resort)
Chevuron Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 If the bar scene isn't your deal, maybe try visiting the library or local diner or coffee shop. Visit in a place that you really enjoy and they say your attitude will attract those of alike-mind. Going to the dog park might help. I've been using Meetup.com as a place to go to see if there are any local hangouts of people more like me in my area. Maybe this could help you too. I wish you the best of luck and remember not to burn yourself and get lots of rest if you can`
Feelin Frisky Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I take it you're young. I'm 57. I come from different times--where there used to be pensions and job security. These times are tough and heartless. I did however accept that there is strength to be gained in solitude a long time ago and that my failure in relationships gave me freedoms and powers to master things that other people serving other specific people couldn't do. I put my mind to serving all people. And it stopped bothering me to go to sports, concerts, movies alone. Maybe it was over-compensation but my freedom to indulge my mind lead to breakthroughs in understanding I wouldn't trade for anything. I think you may have tried to take on too much with the puppy, a day job and a business all at once. And then you want what everyone wants and needs on top of that--a significant other person. Maybe you can manage it. But I think your best bet is to sacrifice anything accept that which you are best at and if that's your business, sacrifice for it. Women will gravitate toward you when you succeed and you lead. But right now you're probably running yourself ragged in too many direction. I don't know how to give up a dog--I've never saddled myself with that but it's a dog eat dog world andI personally don't see running my life around an animal--that's a luxury people earn if they really like animals. It's not a right or privilege to have that all by yourself at a vulnerable age when you need to figure how to earn the privileges you want--like relationships, comfortable living and pets whose health care and upkeep won't wipe you out. 2
Els Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Great advice, FF, although I think the OP is a woman. I definitely agree that you're trying to bite off more than you can chew at one time. I doubt most people are really able to 'have it all' - 7-7 day job, small business on the side, puppy, friends, a partner? Unless you sacrifice a lot of sleep or rest time (which you shouldn't underestimate the importance of), you'll find yourself needing to pick and choose. Which is okay. So maybe, just bear with things until your small business gets off the ground and you don't need to spend so much time on it anymore?
Author TheZebra Posted April 27, 2013 Author Posted April 27, 2013 (edited) Thanks, and yes, I am indeed a woman Don't worry, the pup gets PLENTY of attention and is far from neglected. Lots of walks during the day, expensive food, tons of toys, and of course, lots of petting TBH, my commute probably takes up more of my time than he does right now. I'm actually trying to move closer to work, but condo prices just went up to ridiculous levels here. Anyways, what I meant to say was that the biggest barrier with having him comes in the form of a schedule. As in, I have to take him out every X hours, feed him every X hours, etc. It makes it tricky in that I can't just up and leave whenever I want to, for how long I want to. Otherwise though, he's a very calm dog (I had the breeder pick him out for me - thank god i went off personality and not looks) and doesn't require oodles of time and exercise like other breeds. While I am indeed driven, I don't want that to mean no love life either. I envision myself always being busy with a job, new ventures, investing, etc. I wasn't kidding when I said I loved the business world. I just don't know when or where to meet people with common interests. The dog park was an idea because of the obvious item in common, but also because the person would understand the feelings and sacrifices we make for our pets. For example, there was a day where the pup got really sick and we thought he could've had parvo (very dangerous disease). The guys in my office who've never had pets just didn't understand why I was so worried. They just said 'if the treatment's too expensive just get another dog. he's just a puppy anyway; you won't even notice he's gone since you just got him.' Edited April 27, 2013 by TheZebra
Recommended Posts