sunshine001 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I am one of those unlucky ladies who never had the privilege like the rest of this world. It sounds untrue but unfortunately my case is so. I dated and married my first bf at 19 and then divorced at 27. I was quite young when I got married and realised an year before the divorce that was never in love in the first place (that's the reason I divorced). Stayed single for 2 years and met a guy who technically turned out to be my first bf. I recently broke up with him due to differences. I sit here and look back at my life and wonder as to what should I do of my inexperience! I didn't choose the right guy to date and made a mistake by dating him. He just wasn't the right person for me. One of my friends said I am 29 but living in the 19 phase in real life as I am inexperienced with the dating world. Can anyone please shed some light as to how things progress when you are dating the right guy and the things to look for in a right guy. I am too late on this scene and afraid to trust my choices after this guy! So late in the game this is a little unlucky. Any help will be appreciated. I hope I am not asking a stupid question. Thanks for reading! Sun
mike77 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Right guy is different for EVERY girl. What's right for you can be wrong for another girl. It all depends what YOU are looking for. If you are to afraid to "trust" your own choice than work on trusting yourself first before trying to find the right guy. Ask yourself what you want in a guy, personality wise and or look wise and ones you see potential in someone do NOT be afraid to go on a date. However, I strongly say you work on that whole trust stuff before anything or else you might ending up chasing that right guy away if you are not ready. I am one of those unlucky ladies who never had the privilege like the rest of this world. It sounds untrue but unfortunately my case is so. I dated and married my first bf at 19 and then divorced at 27. I was quite young when I got married and realised an year before the divorce that was never in love in the first place (that's the reason I divorced). Stayed single for 2 years and met a guy who technically turned out to be my first bf. I recently broke up with him due to differences. I sit here and look back at my life and wonder as to what should I do of my inexperience! I didn't choose the right guy to date and made a mistake by dating him. He just wasn't the right person for me. One of my friends said I am 29 but living in the 19 phase in real life as I am inexperienced with the dating world. Can anyone please shed some light as to how things progress when you are dating the right guy and the things to look for in a right guy. I am too late on this scene and afraid to trust my choices after this guy! So late in the game this is a little unlucky. Any help will be appreciated. I hope I am not asking a stupid question. Thanks for reading! Sun
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I dated and married my first bf at 19 and then divorced at 27.I sit here and look back at my life and wonder as to what should I do of my inexperience! Hmm? It seems that women who have only had one long R or marriage think they are inexperienced? The last woman I dated was 26 and had one 7 year R and she said the same thing... Experience is overrated but you have experience in a 7 year marriage. I'm more concerned about the TYPE of relationship rather than the length or number of relationships. Meaning the last woman I dated is a control freak so her 7 year R means idck to me!
ja123 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Hi, I'd suggest that you perhaps get involved in activities where you can be around a lot of guys (e.g., meetupdotcom, volunteering, sports, marathons, book clubs); however, the reason I suggest this is not to date them, but just to get experience interacting with lots of different guy to see their different personalities, and to build your confidence. A site I like is baggagereclaim which discusses a lot of relationship issues and how to identify core values, develop your self-worth, and stay grounded when dating. I'm pretty sure that this seems like a steep learning curve for you, right now. But you'll get there soon enough. Good luck! 1
outsidethebox Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 You can start with what was your ex and this bf like, were they similar, what attracted you to them, and was there a similarity in the failure of the relationships? If your initial reaction is everything was mostly different about them, I don't know what kind of guy will worl for me because they both were failed relationships, does it seem that you latched onto a long term relationship prematurely without dating enough other guys to make a better choice? Seems that way to me from what you've said.
ErosOcean Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 One of my friends said I am 29 but living in the 19 phase in real life as I am inexperienced with the dating world. Can anyone please shed some light as to how things progress when you are dating the right guy and the things to look for in a right guy. I am too late on this scene and afraid to trust my choices after this guy! So late in the game this is a little unlucky. Any help will be appreciated. I hope I am not asking a stupid question. Thanks for reading! The right guy is the guy that matches most of your list of criteria's of what you want in a guy. I say most, because sometimes you will meet someone who will have 90 things out of a hundred that fit what you want. And other times it is 95 out of a hundred. There is no "one". Just someone that fits most of what you are looking for. So relax. Don't go searching for Mr. Right, because you'll develop tunnel vision which will prevent you from spotting a guy that would be a good match for you.
Noproblem Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I think you should go officially to dating sites and match .... I think it's Ok to be living your 19 phase again, actually it could be more fun What you really need to focus of is not to be obsessed with the idea of the right guy....There is no wrong or right guy ....There is the guy the you will think he is right for your and there is the guy that you will think otherwise... Try to enjoy it as it comes, see more guys, and decide which one you feel more comfortable and happy with him ......Give people chances, but don't them your heart on plate that fast....
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