What is she trying to do?

[UltimaWeapon]

Hey Loveshack

 

I recently got out of a 3 month relationship end of february with this girl that I fell extremley hard for and really developed strong feelings for. I haven't felt like this about anyone before even my ex of 4.5 years did not make me feel the way she did. I was truly happy when I got with her because I had been single for 2 years and really was not in the desire mind and body to be with anyone for that time being (after my highschool sweetheart of 4.5 years left me for someone else.)

 

So fast forward to this relationship. she is the only second girl I have ever slept with im only 22. and i feel that this has a huge impact on me moving on. I made a promise to myself to not hook up with girls that I did not care for because it was meaningless and I could not do it. She was really important to me but she had a lot of baggage from her previous relationship (which she left for to be with me).

 

However, she said she wanted to end it for approx. 2 years but could never until I came along. Problem with this was everything was good. I told her to cut all contact with her ex and she did ( he is out of the country - and won't be coming back). However, 3 months into the relationship she blind sided me and told me she couldn't do this anymore she isn't over her previous relationship and she wants to still remain close with me but she can't date me and be with me until she is "Ready." I wanted to believe this was the truth but I had my suspicions that there was someone else. She has a lot of guy friends and always did and this is something I had trouble getting past when we were together. Add in the fact that she is of a diff. religion and her parents would never accept me made things completely complicated. We are from the same country, just different religion and she is 20 years old. However, she said that did not matter and she would continue to be with me even if her parents wouldn't let her. She just said she was not ready for a rel. and wanted time to be alone and to not have anyone else around.

 

 

Problem is we are on the same soccer team, we go to the same university and I always run into her on campus. I could not go NC with her as much as a tried. She told me she wanted things to be civil with us and when she was ready again that she wanted to be with me (I assumed that this was bull****- just to let me down easy- make her feel better) I told her countless times I am trying my best but I can't be "friends" with her or anything of that matter because I was still in love with her and that I could never see her in that way.

 

* she has made it known that she has no intention of getting back with me at any time- however she keeps saying she wants us to still talk and remain close- and even hang out- I told her I couldn't. I even tried at one point because I wanted to see how it would be like considering I would see her every week when soccer starts in a month from now - it was a disaster it was just too painful acting like nothing is wrong when it is.

 

* she continues to text me from time to time, likes my photos on instagram and even tweets at me on twitter- and this is all after i told her I can't be friends with her no matter what I do- no matter how much time passes- yet she continues to reach out to me doing this. It is as if she is trying to act like we are all good and friends and nothings wrong- to feed her ego or something ? i dono. Im asking you guys on love shack for advice. Why would she continue to try to talk to me after I told her that i still wanted us and she says she just wants to be "alone." I had suspicions there was someone else but she told me there isn't. Either way, the point is. she is trying to continue to reach out when she DAMN WELL knows I do not want to be friends.

 

I continue to ignore the tweets, or comments she puts/ makes. And I am doing my best because I can't remove her off these social media sites because it will show her I care. If i ignore I think she will get the message. I also can't go full NC because I always somehow run into her on campus and its just a small hi bye - small talk sort of thing. So what could be the reason she is doing this? Attention? Ego Boost?

 

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks (Ps. removing her off social media- or removing me is not an option- I do not want to do that and I can't go full NC) It's been 2 months now and I am doing a lot better then at the beginning. I have experience from my 4.5 year relationship ending so I feel I have a good grasp of the emotions I have to experience considering I did this but It still doesnt make it any easier.

Edited April 24, 2013 by UltimaWeapon

[ThatJustHappened]

You were a rebound. Rebound relationships tend to move VERY quickly because the rebounder is trying to replace their ex with the new person..but you could not fill the ex-shaped hole in her heart because you're not him, so she dumped you. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means she wasn't ready for a relationship and your timing was off.

 

Sorry dude, but I think your chances of getting her back are pretty slim. She'll be friendly to you I'm sure, and she might even use you as a f*ck buddy and an emotional tampon if you let her..but I doubt she'll take you back on a serious level.

 

Time to start letting go.

[UltimaWeapon]

I understand that but why would she continue to reach out and act friendly and want things to be okay? Is it to satisfy and make her feel okay about the whole situation?

 

I told her countless times that I can't be friends and act like things are okay when I had all of her- and I can't go from having all of her to just being friends and acting like nothing is wrong.

 

She said " okay if that is what you want"

 

Like it boils my blood when she makes any attempt to talk to me because I know nothing is going to come from it. I just feel like I wasted my time getting involved with someone emotionally. It was a huge mistake on my part even getting involved with her considering her baggage and situation but I couldn't help it. She gave me so much attention from the beginning, we instantly clicked and if a girl is sending you pics of herself and initiating a lot of the stuff without you doing anything you are obviously not gona pass it up- Especially me being single for 2 years it was a blessing. but a huge double edged sword in the end because i got ****ed over.

[ThatJustHappened]

I understand that but why would she continue to reach out and act friendly and want things to be okay? Is it to satisfy and make her feel okay about the whole situation?

 

I told her countless times that I can't be friends and act like things are okay when I had all of her- and I can't go from having all of her to just being friends and acting like nothing is wrong.

 

She said " okay if that is what you want"

 

Like it boils my blood when she makes any attempt to talk to me because I know nothing is going to come from it. I just feel like I wasted my time getting involved with someone emotionally. It was a huge mistake on my part even getting involved with her considering her baggage and situation but I couldn't help it. She gave me so much attention from the beginning, we instantly clicked and if a girl is sending you pics of herself and initiating a lot of the stuff without you doing anything you are obviously not gona pass it up- Especially me being single for 2 years it was a blessing. but a huge double edged sword in the end because i got ****ed over.

 

Yes, she's trying to make herself feel better. She's saying 'ok, if that's what you want' because that makes her feel like it's YOUR choice not to be in each other's lives, and it eases her guilt by a million. You're only helping her by not going NC.