Girls making it harder on themselves....

[Sith Apprentice]

 

And you go through numerous of these scenarios all the time leaving a trail of devastated girls in your wake?

 

AFC of the Year Award Winner.

[Estate]

Likely, she brought it up because the first dates were bombs and was hoping he would mention some crappy dates he had recently went one and they could bond over some 'first date horror' stories.

 

Like, how do people read the actual story then make up a total other one.

 

She was making a point to me that she is ACTIVELY with 6 other men so that I was aware of prescious her time was and scheduling dates with her would be so hard.

She made me aware of her wants from a guy (buying fancy stuff) because I was in competition with 6 other guys she was ACTIVELY WITH.

 

Believe me, I am socially savvy enough to know if she was saying "I had some horror dates, lets swap funny stories".

 

She was playing her to get, telling me how how quality and in demand she is and I'd have to buy and pay for fancy things in order to compete.

 

Which is all laughable of course, I'm not some bodies meal ticket and it seems unlikely she actually IS seeing 6 guys as she seems pretty available now that I haven't been persuing her.

[Janesays]

Like, how do people read the actual story then make up a total other one.

 

She was making a point to me that she is ACTIVELY with 6 other men so that I was aware of prescious her time was and scheduling dates with her would be so hard.

She made me aware of her wants from a guy (buying fancy stuff) because I was in competition with 6 other guys she was ACTIVELY WITH.

 

Believe me, I am socially savvy enough to know if she was saying "I had some horror dates, lets swap funny stories".

 

Fair enough. But it doesn't mean she was 'banging' them. Seriously, YOU don't even believe that she was having sex with 6 guys at a time, so why would you say that? What purpose does it serve?

 

Honestly, you make a lot of good points in this thread and I was pretty sympathetic to your plight. But a lot of the other statements you make devalue you, as a person, because it makes you seem trashy, jealous and unintelligent. I'm not saying that is how you ARE. I am simply pointing out that is how you SOUND.

 

Just stick with the facts, leave out all your grossly communicated assumptions, and you'd get a bit more sympathy from the female posters here. Just a thought.

Edited April 25, 2013 by Janesays

[lavenderlove]

I think you are very high on volume. Seems like you are going through women like franticly flipping through a phonebook to find The One.

 

And you are getting the same attitude back.

[TheGuard13]

OP seems a bit obsessed with being "in control" here.

 

The issue should be whether or not you want to see these girls, period, and whether when they become available you want to date them or not. Not whether they've got the "upper hand" or whatnot.

[Imajerk17]

Fair enough. But it doesn't mean she was 'banging' them. Seriously, YOU don't even believe that she was having sex with 6 guys at a time, so why would you say that? What purpose does it serve?

 

Honestly, you make a lot of good points in this thread and I was pretty sympathetic to your plight. But a lot of the other statements you make devalue you, as a person, because it makes you seem trashy, jealous and unintelligent. I'm not saying that is how you ARE. I am simply pointing out that is how you SOUND.

 

Just stick with the facts, leave out all your grossly communicated assumptions, and you'd get a bit more sympathy from the female posters here. Just a thought.

 

Jane, I think the "banging" 6 other dudes remark from Estate was more of an exaggeration than anything else. He doesn't really know (and he gets that) this girl's sex life and he doesn't really care. [Although odds are she is making out with at least one of these guys but whatever.] His point is that it is a turn-off when a woman says something like "I'm being feted by 6 other guys but if you take me to this expensive place maybe I will hang out with you". The princess mentality on that girl's part is really uncool.

 

Imagine if a guy had said something like that to you--that he is talking to 6 other women but maybe he can fit you in somewhere. Would you be impressed?

 

I think that is what Estate is getting at overall: He is meeting too many women with the princess mentality. Don't these women ever consider that their attitude and behaviors are why they are not able to get into a relationship with a decent guy?

Edited April 25, 2013 by Imajerk17

[Estate]

I think you are very high on volume. Seems like you are going through women like franticly flipping through a phonebook to find The One.

 

And you are getting the same attitude back.

 

I enjoy the dating process, I enjoy being social, I enjoy meeting people... and it's just my way that if I meet a girl I initially think seems nice I'll ask her out.

 

It doesn't mean she'll always say yes, and it doesn't mean I'll always like her once I spend time with her.

 

But what is your point? Should I be sitting home crying in my ice cream bucket watching netflix instead of just being out and enjoying life?

[Estate]

Fair enough. But it doesn't mean she was 'banging' them. Seriously, YOU don't even believe that she was having sex with 6 guys at a time, so why would you say that? What purpose does it serve?

 

Honestly, you make a lot of good points in this thread and I was pretty sympathetic to your plight. But a lot of the other statements you make devalue you, as a person, because it makes you seem trashy, jealous and unintelligent. I'm not saying that is how you ARE. I am simply pointing out that is how you SOUND.

 

Just stick with the facts, leave out all your grossly communicated assumptions, and you'd get a bit more sympathy from the female posters here. Just a thought.

 

That's fair enough, maybe saying "banging" was a bit over the top.

She said she was seeing them, she didn't actually directly discuss sexual activity.

 

I guess my point was more about the attitude or persona she was putting forward in general which was such a turnoff...

Which was odd because we talked a lot and I saw lots of glimpses of her how she might act around friends or family and she seemed really nice but the persona infront of a guy she was dating, it just wasn't nice. I'd rather invest time in a girl who was the same as with firends/family around me, and not having to break down this attitude towards "men" when we speak.

[Estate]

OP seems a bit obsessed with being "in control" here.

 

The issue should be whether or not you want to see these girls, period, and whether when they become available you want to date them or not. Not whether they've got the "upper hand" or whatnot.

 

I don't even know where this comes into it.

Relationships are give and take, 50/50 from my perspective.

 

But when someone is trying to gain the upper hand through silly games (girl 3 for example), I just don't see the point dealing with it. Nobody really wins.

 

If she is trying to pull more than her 50% then maybe I'll try to establish and pull back so that it's 50/50 but if a girl persists, I just don't see the point continuing... it's a waste of time. I'm not one of those guys who follows girls like a lapdog.

[TheGuard13]

I dunno...just your language in places.

 

"I don't need to chase them", "On my terms", etc.

 

Dunno. You just seem a bit too hung up on the little games involved in dating. It really shouldn't be that big a deal if you have so many quality options. You act like you've never run into this kind of a thing before.

[tbf]

I don't even know where this comes into it.

Relationships are give and take, 50/50 from my perspective.

 

But when someone is trying to gain the upper hand through silly games (girl 3 for example), I just don't see the point dealing with it. Nobody really wins.

You're complaining about girls gaming.

 

If she is trying to pull more than her 50% then maybe I'll try to establish and pull back so that it's 50/50 but if a girl persists, I just don't see the point continuing... it's a waste of time. I'm not one of those guys who follows girls like a lapdog.

Now you're expressing your gaming techniques.

 

Either embrace and enjoy the games or don't bother playing. You can't hold these girls to a higher bar than you hold yourself. Well, you can but that would be definitively hypocritical.

[Imajerk17]

You're complaining about girls gaming.

 

Now you're expressing your gaming techniques.

 

Either embrace and enjoy the games or don't bother playing. You can't hold these girls to a higher bar than you hold yourself. Well, you can but that would be definitively hypocritical.

 

Let me get this straight: You say Estate is "gaming" because he won't put up with a woman trying to get him jump through her hoops? How is he possibly trying to hold girls to a higher standard than he is holding himself?

[tbf]

If she is trying to pull more than her 50% then maybe I'll try to establish and pull back so that it's 50/50 but if a girl persists, I just don't see the point continuing... it's a waste of time. I'm not one of those guys who follows girls like a lapdog.

 

Let me get this straight: You say Estate is "gaming" because he won't put up with a woman trying to get him jump through her hoops? How is he possibly trying to hold girls to a higher standard than he is holding himself?

What does the bolded mean?

[Janesays]

 

I guess my point was more about the attitude or persona she was putting forward in general which was such a turnoff...

Which was odd because we talked a lot and I saw lots of glimpses of her how she might act around friends or family and she seemed really nice but the persona infront of a guy she was dating, it just wasn't nice. I'd rather invest time in a girl who was the same as with firends/family around me, and not having to break down this attitude towards "men" when we speak.

 

 

Do you see how much more reasonable and fair and intelligent you sound here compared to your other posts? See, you (and quite a few other men in this thread) should embrace the fact that if you come across acting like a pig, a lot of the women here are going to feel zero sympathy for you, label you a moron, and then jump down your throat. Whereas if you drop the ridiculous exaggerations, silly PUA language, and leave all that ego at the door, you might actually get us ladies to engage you in a respectful way.

 

I think younger women can be immature because they get a lot of BS thrown at them, too. You know how everything you hear now about attracting women is nonsense like "Be confident" "Don't be a lapdog" "Show a woman you have value!"??

 

Well, women get "Be mysterious!" "Make him think you're a catch!" "Men are hunters, they only like the chase!"

 

It's all nonsense. It really is. But while you're critiquing the women for listening to the nonsense they've have jammed down their throats since they were old enough to be plopped down in front of a disney movie, recognize that you are buying the same nonsense society prepackaged for you males.

 

I think both sexes need to display a little bit more empathy towards each other. You know what I love? When male or female has the balls to just be like, "Let's drop this charade and start treating each other like NORMAL PEOPLE and not opponents in a chess game!"

 

Instead, we get members of both sexes saying, "Don't play ME! I'll play YOU!"

 

Also, please don't ever use the word 'bang' to describe sex again. It's so....classless and immature. Real men don't use silly little 13 year old terminology to describe something so innately awesome.

Edited April 25, 2013 by Janesays

[charlietheginger]

A women tried to play me awhile ago.

 

Hard to get

Hot cold

I dont need a man

be mysterious

Look like a catch

 

Finally after awhile in person

I just said

 

"your to good for me im a f ing loser "

then ran away from her.....

 

In otherwards i killer her game

[Imajerk17]

What does the bolded mean?

 

You can't take the bolded out of context. I read the sentence as follows:

 

"If she is expecting me to jump through too many hoops I'll give her another chance and meanwhile, try to subtly let her come to her own conclusions (through my actions) that I won't play that game so everyone saves face. If she persists then I am out."

[Janesays]

You can't take the bolded out of context. I read the sentence as follows:

 

"If she is expecting me to jump through too many hoops I'll give her another chance and meanwhile, try to subtly let her come to her own conclusions (through my actions) that I won't play that game so everyone saves face. If she persists then I am out."

 

Whoa! Did someone delete this paragraph when I wasn't looking? Because outside of this post, it doesn't exist.

 

Maybe YOU'RE the one who is just making crap up?

[Imajerk17]

Whoa! Did someone delete this paragraph when I wasn't looking? Because outside of this post, it doesn't exist.

 

Maybe YOU'RE the one who is just making crap up?

 

I'm referring to tbf's post. So if anyone is making crap up, it's her.

[Janesays]

I'm referring to tbf's post. So if anyone is making crap up, it's her.

 

But quoting the actual sentence that was written instead of writing an entirely different sentence?

 

Hey, I realize you sympathize with the OP. But let's give him an opportunity to clarify what he meant instead of conveniently re-writing his words in a complementary light, eh?

[Estate]

I dunno...just your language in places.

 

"I don't need to chase them", "On my terms", etc.

 

Dunno. You just seem a bit too hung up on the little games involved in dating. It really shouldn't be that big a deal if you have so many quality options. You act like you've never run into this kind of a thing before.

 

Well anyoone will sound bad if you put words in their mouth instead of directly quoting what was actually said..... food for thought.

[Estate]

I would tone down the ego.

 

If you are playing games with women dont get mad when they do the same.

 

Stop being pissed at girls who multidate when you multidate out the wazoo yourself....seriously?

 

What thread are you reading? Where am I playing games?

Not calling a girl when I lose interest? That's not a game, its not being interested.

[Estate]

Do you see how much more reasonable and fair and intelligent you sound here compared to your other posts? See, you (and quite a few other men in this thread) should embrace the fact that if you come across acting like a pig, a lot of the women here are going to feel zero sympathy for you, label you a moron, and then jump down your throat. Whereas if you drop the ridiculous exaggerations, silly PUA language, and leave all that ego at the door, you might actually get us ladies to engage you in a respectful way.

 

I think younger women can be immature because they get a lot of BS thrown at them, too. You know how everything you hear now about attracting women is nonsense like "Be confident" "Don't be a lapdog" "Show a woman you have value!"??

 

Well, women get "Be mysterious!" "Make him think you're a catch!" "Men are hunters, they only like the chase!"

 

It's all nonsense. It really is. But while you're critiquing the women for listening to the nonsense they've have jammed down their throats since they were old enough to be plopped down in front of a disney movie, recognize that you are buying the same nonsense society prepackaged for you males.

 

I think both sexes need to display a little bit more empathy towards each other. You know what I love? When male or female has the balls to just be like, "Let's drop this charade and start treating each other like NORMAL PEOPLE and not opponents in a chess game!"

 

Instead, we get members of both sexes saying, "Don't play ME! I'll play YOU!"

 

Also, please don't ever use the word 'bang' to describe sex again. It's so....classless and immature. Real men don't use silly little 13 year old terminology to describe something so innately awesome.

 

I won't say you're wrong, you make good points.

Dating is all a little bit of cat and mouse game.

 

If a girl seems a little harder to attain, sure... we want what we can't have and can make her more desierable than if she is making herself too available. There's no denying that.

 

But there's a difference between not being too easy, making yourself a challenge and just plain coming across like a self entitled self centered gold digger. There's no need to take it THAT far.

 

A girl can easily seem in demand by just not texting every 3 minutes or having an active life. Its attractive.... but flat out telling me to compete with 6 guys by showering her in luxury? Crazy! I just met the girl... she was ok, but nothing insanely amazing. Its 50/50. What incentive do I have to compete with a girl I've just met and am making my mind up about when I could date another girl who wouldn't be so brash about it and appears much more attractive to me in doing so.

 

She put herself on a pedastil before I even decided I was into her... so she lost out.

I wasn't invested enough as I was only getting to know her. If she displayed some more attractive traits she may have made me want a 2nd date but she did nothing to make me WANT to do those things.

[charlietheginger]

Why does a guy need to chase a moody inconsiderate

Women?

 

Nothing in it for the man as i see it ....

 

Chasing a nice considerate woman that respects you

Is whats worth chasing.

 

 

A great woman is one in a million

Game playing women are a dime a dozen

[tbf]

I'm referring to tbf's post. So if anyone is making crap up, it's her.

No. You are. WTF does "establish" mean? Is this a PUA term?

[Imajerk17]

No. You are. WTF does "establish" mean? Is this a PUA term?

 

No. I quoted YOUR post #75. I didn't bother to check if that quote you attribute to Estate in your post #75 of this thread was indeed something he has said (I assumed it was) or something YOU made up in YOUR post--i.e., Janesays not being able to find it anywhere else in this thread.

 

Repeat: I only quoted you ma'am.

 

EDIT: I gave MY INTERPRETATION of what Estate wrote in post #78. I didn't say Estate actually wrote that word-for-word, I said how I interpreted it. I paraphrased it. Is that what you both were referring to?

Edited April 26, 2013 by Imajerk17