Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 We've been seeing each other for six weeks. We've been on four dates. He doesnt text me everyday. I dont see him every week. The last few weeks, almost every weekend he spent time with his friends going on trips. When he came back from each trip, he emailed me pictures from his trip. We had sex for the first time on our fourth date which was two weeks ago. He's been continually initiating contact. Last weekend. He went skiing with friends. I didnt see him last week but we were in contact. While he was on trip, I didn't hear from him. I didn't try to communicate either. He's been the one initiating contacts. He emailed me pictures of his trip last night, saying he had fun. I replied and he sent me another email today asking how's my schedule for this week. Every week around this day he always asks for my schedule but there were weeks that I didn't see him at all. Is he interested even I don't see him often and not plan dates every week?
BluEyeL Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I think he's still interested and you are doing a good job of not bugging him and not acting insecure. Keep it up, and see how it goes.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Why are you playing hard to get? Even though he has made plans to go on trips with his friends, he has shown, through consistency, that he likes you by keeping in contact with you every week and thereafter. You need to stop questioning his motives and start setting up dates with this guy. By playing nonchalant and hardly initiating, you are digging yourself a hole. Your behavior may come off as aloof but ultimately, you may drive him away with your passiveness. 5
Poppy fields Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I think he is interested. In something very casual at this point though. 1
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 How close were these four dates? Yall have been dating six weeks, haven't seen him in two and there were weeks where yall hadn't seen eachother? I'm trying to gauge the pace of things but your time frames are confusing...
Author Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 How close were these four dates? Yall have been dating six weeks, haven't seen him in two and there were weeks where yall hadn't seen eachother? I'm trying to gauge the pace of things but your time frames are confusing... I didn't see him last week. I saw him the weekend before last weekend. We've spent two weekends together. The other weekends, he spent with friends going on trips. The other two dates were weekdays. The most we've spent time was once week.There were two weeks that I didn't see him, including last week.
BluEyeL Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I think it's a classical situation, where they had sex two weeks ago, and they haven't met since, he's pulling back a little and she's getting a little insecure, but didn't act on her insecurity, which is good. 2
whatsdone Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 it seems to me that he is initiating all the dates at this point..if seeing him not so often is bothering you and has you questioning his interest level why dont you be the one to initiate dates? 2
Author Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 I think it's a classical situation, where they had sex two weeks ago, and they haven't met since, he's pulling back a little and she's getting a little insecure, but didn't act on her insecurity, which is good. Oh sorry, we had sex the weekend before last weekend. I think I wrote two weeks ago which was incorrect. It hasn't been two weeks.
mrsnaks Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I think he's interested but I think you need to start acting interested as well by perhaps initiating contact and setting up dates instead of waiting for him. If a guy feels like he has to do all the 'work', he'll eventually stop being interested. 5
FlyerFan54 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Of course he is interested! You've gotta step it up though. Start initiating conversation more. There's no reason he needs to chase you any more when you CLEARLY have a mutual interest. You don't need to see each other every week, or talk every day to have interest. It's there, especially if he is telling you about his trips. This is where the games need to end. Get in touch with him, and set up plans. The more you keep playing these games and don't contact him...he's gonna get bored and walk away. 3
crude Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I think he's interested but I think you need to start acting interested as well by perhaps initiating contact and setting up dates instead of waiting for him. If a guy feels like he has to do all the 'work', he'll eventually stop being interested. Absolutely. Contrary to the lame "he's just not that into you cliches", most men want the woman to do something in the relationship, or he just figures she's not that into him. More worrying is the fact you had sex about 10 days ago for the first time, and he doesn't seem to be in a hurry for more. If it was good, what man waits a couple of weeks for the encore? 3
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 How much contact do you initiate if any? I know some women don't like to initiate contact because they're afraid of scaring the guy away. A good rule of thumb is to initiate half the contact he does. Sooner or later things will fall into a natural pace. 3
Author Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) Absolutely. Contrary to the lame "he's just not that into you cliches", most men want the woman to do something in the relationship, or he just figures she's not that into him. More worrying is the fact you had sex about 10 days ago for the first time, and he doesn't seem to be in a hurry for more. If it was good, what man waits a couple of weeks for the encore? We had sex Saturday. We spent the whole day together. Everyday from Sunday to Wednesday, he was initiating contacts. I didn't hear from him Thursday. He left out of town with friends on Friday. He's the manager of his department so some days he works pretty late. I work at night so our schedules are opposite. I'm confident that he liked the sex. I dont want to elaborate more about it but I know I do well in that department. Edited April 24, 2013 by Miss1122 Edit
Author Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 How much contact do you initiate if any? I know some women don't like to initiate contact because they're afraid of scaring the guy away. A good rule of thumb is to initiate half the contact he does. Sooner or later things will fall into a natural pace. I have not initiated any contacts or dates.
Star Gazer Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Interested in WHAT? Sex? Sure. Relationship? Ehhhh...
Author Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 Interested in WHAT? Sex? Sure. Relationship? Ehhhh... Why did you say that? Just curious.
Star Gazer Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 Why did you say that? Just curious. 4 dates in six weeks. You're having sex with him without a commitment and he hasn't made efforts to see you since you had sex, among other things.
Author Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 4 dates in six weeks. You're having sex with him without a commitment and he hasn't made efforts to see you since you had sex, among other things. He has. He asked me about my schedule last week but I was only free on weekends and he made plans to go skiing with friends on weekends. Yesterday, he sent me a message after coming back from his trip. He sent me pictures from the trip too. This afternoon, he messaged me asking me what's my schedule for this week. I told him I'm off Thurs and Friday. He asked me if Im free Thurs. I replied that Friday works better. Will see what he's reply would be.
FlyerFan54 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 We had sex Saturday. We spent the whole day together. Everyday from Sunday to Wednesday, he was initiating contacts. I didn't hear from him Thursday. He left out of town with friends on Friday. You had Thursday and the whole weekend to initate contact. You should have said something during the weekend like "Hey hope you have a fun weekend." Something that small can make a guy's day and answer questions that may be going through his mind. He's the manager of his department so some days he works pretty late. I work at night so our schedules are opposite. Another opportunity to reach out to him for once and say "Hey what's your schedule looking like this week." You can't allow him to dictate initiations. He is going to get bored. I'm confident that he liked the sex. I dont want to elaborate more about it but I know I do well in that department.I haven't met anyone who HASN'T enjoyed having sex with someone they are into. That's besides the point. You're asking if he's interested, and yet he continues to reach out to you... If anything, he wonders if you are interested in him. The fact you haven't reached out can make a guy wonder. You have to initiate conversation or he will likely just give up after a while...regardless if he's getting laid or not. I don't mean this in a rude way at all, but I'm surprised you're asking if he is interested. It's as clear as day that he is.
Author Miss1122 Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 You had Thursday and the whole weekend to initate contact. You should have said something during the weekend like "Hey hope you have a fun weekend." Something that small can make a guy's day and answer questions that may be going through his mind. Another opportunity to reach out to him for once and say "Hey what's your schedule looking like this week." You can't allow him to dictate initiations. He is going to get bored. I haven't met anyone who HASN'T enjoyed having sex with someone they are into. That's besides the point. You're asking if he's interested, and yet he continues to reach out to you... If anything, he wonders if you are interested in him. The fact you haven't reached out can make a guy wonder. You have to initiate conversation or he will likely just give up after a while...regardless if he's getting laid or not. I don't mean this in a rude way at all, but I'm surprised you're asking if he is interested. It's as clear as day that he is. I guess I was asking because I don't see him every week and when he goes out of town with his friends, I don't hear from him.
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 I have not initiated any contacts or dates. Wow! My cutoff is 3 dates. I'll call after the third date but then I'm going radio silence until she makes an effort. It's her turn to show some interest other than just showing up on dates.
SJC2008 Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 (edited) 4 dates in six weeks. You're having sex with him without a commitment and he hasn't made efforts to see you since you had sex, among other things. And he should commit to a woman who hasn't initiated contact once? There's no balance, it has an air of you come to me. Edit: I forgot they had sex and that's when he signed his commitment contract! Edited April 24, 2013 by SJC2008 add
outsidethebox Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 OP, take a look at your posts. Every post is a schedule of when this guy had sex with you. The rest of the time he is running around with friends. I'm not the brightest guy at this stuff, but you're supposed to be considered a friend at some point. Just guys? but what's your schedule for sex. You only spoke of when you two had sex, and this guy's adventurous itinerary, not mentioning you two doing anything else at all. It's like a perfect scenario of a guy using you. Plus a manager where you work although you work a different shift. Oh, and he doesn't message you while he's gone. I don't think I could come up with anything more if I tried. 1
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