pursuitofhappiness Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years. I am 19, she is 20. She is very smart, very kind, loving, respectful, caring, pretty, and over all a wonderful girl. I am her first boyfriend and she is still a virgin. Our families love us being together. We really don't fight much at all. I know that she would love me no matter what. So, those are the positives. The negatives are that she is extremely jealous (but getting a lot better), she plans on us getting married after we finish school and her father is her mothers first boyfriend (they got married and still are), She can be very demanding at times. She is extremely emotional. I am a bit of a chubby chaser and she is very very skinny (although appearance doesn't hold much weight for me when I want to be with a girl). Now personally, the negatives stated don't outweigh the positives, however, the one main factor that makes me consider a break up is that I have never had those butterfly's in my belly for her. Not at the beginning and not now. I know that she is crazy about me (in a good way(I don't mean to sound arrogant)), but I am just not as into her as she is into me. I feel really bad for this. I am happy with her, but I feel that I am not as happy as I can be. I care about her and I love her, but am I not in love with her? I learned to love her and I didn't pursue her out of my own interest. one of our mutual friends got us together and pushed me to pursue her. What should I do? Could my feelings for her grow to where they should be? or is it time to call things off? If so, How can I do it gently without hurting her much?
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Your friend pushed you to pursue her for 2 years? Lol. You cannot dump a girl after 2 years without hurting her... You CAN be tactful, heart felt and honest. Dont drag this relationship on anymore if you dont care for her that way. That SHOULD help but wont make it pain free though. Its not possible... Youre young and probably would like to experience more in your life than being tied down to an emotional and jealous girl you dont even have butterflies for and arent really attracted to, since she is skinny and you are a "chubby chaser." She will get emotional. She will be hurt. She WILL definitely be upset. Especially if you have played into all her dreams even though you knew you didnt have these feelings for her. Why did you lie to her? I dont really care... but she will ask this.
Author pursuitofhappiness Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 Our friend only pushed me into pursuing her at first, the rest was me. And I never lied to her about my feeling. I really liked her and she seemed really sweet, and is, so I decided to ask her out. I thought that my feelings for her would grow, which they did, but discontinued to develop. I wanted to give it time to see if they could progress. And in terms of not wanting to be tied down, it's not that at all. I don't mind being committed, in fact I prefer it. But if I am going to be committed, I want to be in it for the right reasons and be in love with the girl. We only have this one life and one chance to get everything right before we move on to whatever's next, and I don't want to spend it with the wrong person.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 Do you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her?
Author pursuitofhappiness Posted April 23, 2013 Author Posted April 23, 2013 I do want to marry her if I would be happy spending the rest of my life with her, but I just don't know if that can be the case.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 23, 2013 Posted April 23, 2013 I do want to marry her if I would be happy spending the rest of my life with her, but I just don't know if that can be the case. That doesn't make any sense. Either you do or you don't. If you want to be with her, be with her. If you don't, don't. But honestly, you're both SO young and you both have a ton of growing up to do. It's not common to marry one's first love..her parents are an anomaly. You don't sound particularly in love with her and if you're not, you should let her go and find someone who is. It's only fair. Also..just as a general rule, if you have to ask whether or not you should break up with someone..the answer is probably yes.
Author pursuitofhappiness Posted April 24, 2013 Author Posted April 24, 2013 What I meant by that is the answer would be yes if I was really happy with her, but I'm still trying to find out if I am or will be. But you are right, if I have to ask, I probably should. And it is only fair to her. This is just a hard decision to make since she has treated me so right, but I want her to have someone that feels the same. And it's true, we are young and do have a lot of growing up to do. It's just easy to let emotions get all jumbled up sometimes.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 24, 2013 Posted April 24, 2013 You never know..maybe you guys will come back around someday..but you are SO young. You have a lot of living to do first.
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